Could You Love Me Just A Little Bit More

I saw Kellin and Justin leave the bus. Kellin didn't look overly happy really and I instantly felt bad. Maybe he was hurt that I'd left suddenly after Justin's comment, or maybe Justin had just annoyed him with his wake up call. What ever the reason though I still felt awful inside.

'Kellin, Annabell , Darcy and I are going out for breakfast this morning. If anyone asks, we'll be back around eleven to set off.' Ella told him as he walked by. I gave him a smile and he only nodded ever so slightly.

'Why don't we get to come for breakfast?' Justin huffed, standing beside Ella, pouting at her.

'I'll bring you all something back, don't worry your pretty little head, Justin.' Ella replied, patting the side of his face softly. 'Now, go do your job and wake up Jesse. I hear he's still sleeping.' He beamed at Ella and ran off, beating Kellin to the bus.

'Well, let's go get changed and go eat! I'm starved.' Annabell rubbed her stomach and made her way onto our bus. Ella and I followed and got ourselves ready for our outing.

***

'So,' Ella started, taking a sip of her coffee. 'How about we have that talk now?' As soon as she said the words I felt the pancakes I'd just shovelled down swirl around in my stomach. Last night I couldn't wait to have the talk with her, now I wasn't so sure.

'Ooh, what talk?' Annabell asked, getting herself comfortable in her seat.

'Do we have to have it right now? Here?' I asked her, feeling the after affects come into play from the drinking we had done.

'Well, unless you want to talk at the buses where anyone could walk in at any moment and listen in, then lets go.' Ella said, standing half way out of her seat.

'Fine, I'll talk. What do you want to know?' I asked her, sulking in my seat, knowing I wasn't going to enjoy talking about anything.

'First things first, I want to know how much you like Kellin.' I saw Annabell's eyes grow wide and a smile spread across her face, yet she said nothing.

I sighed at her question and fiddled with the hem of my shirt, I knew she was going to keep asking so I decided to talk. 'I know that when he isn't around I miss him and when he's there everything seems alright and I forget about Rob. As cheesy as it sounds, my heart seems to skip a few beats when he holds my hand and I'm just too happy with him to tell him that we can only be friends.' Telling Ella and Annabell this made me feel terrible, actually admitting that I was basically screwing with Kellin's feelings made me feel ill.

'Second thing is, how long have you been with Rob?' I knew Ella had a list of questions she wanted to ask me first without trying to help with the situation.

'Six years...' I trailed off, thinking about how many of those years had turned into a boring, miserable routine.

'Darcy, why have you stuck around so long? Are you even happy with your relationship with Rob? I don't want to interfere and tell you what you should and shouldn't do but I want you to be happy and right now, I can see that you aren't.' Ella said, reaching her hand across the table to hold onto mine.

'There's so much more you don't understand. Rob has always been there, through everything, I'm sorry, I can't talk about this.' I whipped my hand away from Ella and made a run for the exit of the small diner we were sat in, furiously wiping away tears that had rolled down my face.

I felt silly for running out on Ella and Annabell, all Ella wanted to do was help me, but as much as I knew I wasn't happy at home, I wasn't about to hurt Rob by just giving him up. It was Rob that took me in when I left home, it was Rob that put up with me for so long, not Kellin.

As I walked back to the buses, trying my best to remember the streets I'd walked with Ella and Annabell, I'd fully convinced myself Kellin was all just part of my lust. I wanted someone to show me affection and give me attention like Rob used to and I was taken in by him, but I told myself I didn't have feelings for him and when I went back home, everything would go back to normal.

I finally made it back to see everyone sat outside again, flicking through papers and discussing things amongst them selves. I made it onto the bus without anyone noticing me and sat at the kitchen table, sighing at how overwhelmed and stressed I was feeling.

'Is Darcy here?!' I heard a frantic Ella ask from outside, she must have ran after me as soon as I fled the diner. I knew I shouldn't have run away like I did, as Annabell had previously told me, if anything happened to me it was their necks.

'No, what's happened?' I heard Gabe ask.

'She just took off. God I hope she's here.' Ella then said. I decided to make my way off the bus so she could calm her nerves.

'I'm here, Ella. Don't worry.' I piped up, causing her to turn and face me, a look of relief spread across her face.

'Oh my God.' She sighed and ran over to me. She threw her arms around me and rocked us a little. 'Don't do that again. You had us worried sick. I'll call Annabell, tell her I've found you.' She then said and pulled away and made her way onto the bus.

'What happened?' Gabe asked, coming towards me.

'Nothing, its OK.' I told him and tried to walk away but he grabbed me by the arm and pulled me back to face him.

'Darcy, you're not OK. What's happened?' He asked again, this time the rest of the guys stepped closer and listened in.

'I ran away from Ella and Annabell because I'm a coward and I'm pathetic. I don't want to talk about it and I hope you can understand that.' Was all I could manage to tell him. It wasn't a lie after all. I just didn't tell him the reason behind it.

'OK, but if you need to talk to me about it later, I'm all ears.' He offered and walked away from me. I looked in the direction he was walking in and Kellin was stood staring at me, full of concern and worry. I didn't want to have to look at his face any longer so I made my way onto the bus and sat alone in my bunk. Sorting out my article was the only thing was going to keep my mind preoccupied.