Could You Love Me Just A Little Bit More

'Darcy, where are you?!' Kellin shouted down the phone. 'Everyone is out looking for you. Why are you not at the park? I thought you'd be there.' His anger seemed to subside a little towards the end.

'I knew you'd find me there. I didn't want to see anyone.' I couldn't have been more blunt.

'Darcy, where are you? Please just tell me that so we can calm down.' Kellin said, sounding desperate.

'I'm at the beach.' Was all I said before ending the conversation with him. I couldn't even bring myself to carry on talking. My range of emotions were taking over and I didn't know what to do or say. I just wanted someone to tell me it would be OK, like Kellin had told that young girl. I wanted someone to tell me I didn't need Rob so I could argue that I did, then realise no, I didn't and I was going to be better off without him.

I text Lola to ask her not to tell Rob that I knew. I wanted him to think everything was still good between us and that we were still together. I wanted him to tell me it was over and try to be a man about it. She agreed not to say anything and we left it at that. I was meant to be having the best time possible, doing what I'd dreamt of doing for a while, instead I'd spent most of my time miserable and alone.

Again my phone started to ring and Kellin's name flashed on my screen. I slid my thumb across the screen and waited for him to speak.

'Darcy, where are you? I can't find you.' He was puffing and out of breath as he spoke.

'Are you here?' I asked, sniffling and choking back my sobs.

'Yes, please tell me where you are.' He begged with me. I felt terrible for making them worry, I really did, but I just couldn't stand people saying they told me so or telling me I was a fool for sticking around and letting this happen.

'I'm at the rocks, just past the surf shop.' I told him and looked around to see if I could see him. I stayed on the line and listened to him run to find me. His breathing was heavy and I could hear his footsteps crunching in the sand. I looked to my left and seen him running. His hair was all over, as if he'd been pulling it in stress. His dark sunglasses sat on his face so I couldn't see how worried he actually was.

I ended the silent conversation, shoved my phone into my pocket and stood up from the rocks I was sat on. I waved a little at him so he knew it was me and he picked up speed. I was bracing myself in case he decided to lecture me on running away again.

'Oh my God, stop doing this.' Was all he said when he finally reached me. He threw his arms around me and pulled me in close to his chest. He swayed us a little and I allowed myself to cry hysterically into his vest. I wrapped my arms around his waist not wanting to let go. I just needed someone now, like Lola had told me to do. I needed someone to comfort me and care for me.

'What has happened, Darcy? Why are you so upset?' Kellin asked. He tried to pull away to look at me but I didn't let him. I didn't want him to see how much I'd fell apart because of a boy.

'I'm an idiot. I should have saw it coming.' I sobbed into him. He was more than likely confused, I'd not exactly started from the beginning.

'What should you have saw coming? Darcy, please explain this to me.' This time he forced himself back and pushed me away from the shoulders so he could see my face.

'Rob...' Was all I managed to say before Kellin furrowed his eyebrows and scowled.

'What has he done?' I could tell he was angry, more so than he was when we'd argued.

'It doesn't matter now. It's done, I cant change it, you cant change it, no one can. I've just wasted my time on someone that didn't even care.' My tears were slowing now. I'd cried so much for Rob I had nothing left. He wasn't worth my tears any more.

'It still matters if he's made you this upset. Can you please talk to me about it?' I didn't want to keep talking about Rob, I didn't want to feel hurt any longer, but it wasn't going to go away if I ignored it, I needed someone to talk to and Kellin was more than willing.

'He's been in another relationship for six months. Right under my nose and I didn't even see it happening.' I told him, dropping back down onto the rocks I'd been previously sat on. 'I should have thought he'd do something like this, like I've told you, we've both been unhappy, six years for a young couple is a long time, but he could have just told me to leave.' I couldn't look at Kellin as I spoke. I felt too stupid.

'Maybe he doesn't want you to leave but wants the best of both worlds. Maybe he's too far gone in your relationship to know how to leave but needs someone else to pull him away from it.' Kellin offered making me feel worse.

'Am I that much of a bad person to deserve all of this shit?' I was trying not to yell at Kellin, it wasn't his fault. 'I've been harping on about not being able to leave him because I cant break his heart and abandon him after all he's done for me...and he's already done it to me. What have I done wrong, Kellin? Can you tell me that?' He just stood there, mouth hanging open not knowing what else to say.

'You don't deserve any of it, no one does. After six years any decent man would explain why he wasn't happy and tell you he was leaving...but Rob obviously isn't decent and he doesn't deserve someone like you. You're far too good of a person for any man, Darcy and he's going to realise soon that he's made the biggest mistake of his life to let you go.' I knew Kellin was being honest and genuine with me, we'd already had heart to hearts before and he was the exact same way, but nothing was going to make me feel better about anything right now.