Could You Love Me Just A Little Bit More

I couldn't believe how many people had turned up to watch them play that night. It was hands down the biggest show they were going to play so far. My stomach just twisted and turned for them, I couldn't even imagine myself getting up on stage in front of so many people to play a whole length show to. Standing there for two minutes was bad enough.

I tried my best to get as far to the middle as I could, trying not to piss people off as I did so. I was small enough to squeeze through and did give the occasional shove, but I made no eye contact so no confrontation could be caused.

I finally took my spot in amongst a group of teenage girls who were currently gushing over Kellin and how much they adored him. I wanted to join in so badly, but thought better of it and waited for them to come on stage. Just then, the lights went out and everyone around me screamed. I stood on my tip-toes and used someone's shoulder in front to keep me steady as I tried to steal a glance at them.

I saw Gabe run on stage, waving at everyone then took a seat at his drums, Jack and Justin followed next taking their positions on stage followed by Jesse who was currently drinking God knows what from a plastic cup. They all started up with the guitars and such and played along with a silent tune that was playing in the background, then after what seemed like forever, Kellin made his way on stage, grinning and waving to everyone waiting.

They burst into playing The Bomb Dot Com before even saying a word to try and get the crowd pumped up, not that it took very long anyway. Everyone there was excited and on a high at just seeing them.

I myself was reserved at first. I was alone in the crowd and felt horribly shy and embarrassed to let loose, but I thought about when I was going to see these people again and the answer was never. So I sang my heart out with them, ecstatic I'd learnt their songs word for word.

They played a few more songs and took a few moments every now and then to thank everyone for coming out and making general one way chit chat, but after they finished playing With Ears To See And Eyes To Hear, Kellin hushed the crowd so he could speak to us without having to shout.

'I'd just like to take the time now to talk to you lot before we play this next song.' Kellin started, looking out at everyone. Jesse was strumming silently on his guitar beside him, listening also. The rest of the guys standing too.
'I just want anyone out there who relates to what I'm about to say to raise their hand. OK?' He asked and everyone screamed back.

'OK then, who here has been in love with a person who hurt them?' With that most of the room raised their hands, including myself.
'And who here was too scared to move on because they weren't sure what they were doing was right? Who was too scared of the risk?' Again, pretty much everyone raised their hands. I knew Kellin was directing this at me but I wasn't annoyed at him.

'Last one, who regretted not taking that risk?' He called and and looked out at us with our hands raised. 'I can only help one person here tonight, I can tell her that I'm always going to be there and that I'm worth the risk. You deserve so much more and I want to do everything and anything for you. I'm waiting here only for you.' I saw him scan the crowd and I couldn't be sure but it looked like he'd found me and smiled. He stared a little while longer before looking away.

'The rest of you who didn't take that risk, I want you to listen to the words of this next song carefully and know they were written for you. You're all worth more than that one jerk or bitch treat you. Believe it. You're all going to find your own little moth. This is Let Love Bleed Red!' He called out and they started up the music once again.

I didn't sing along with everyone else, instead I just stood there, taking in his words, filling myself up with emotion. Why shouldn't I take the risk? Why would I be the bad person in starting a relationship with Kellin? I wasn't hurting anyone bar myself by keeping him waiting, so I decided I didn't need time any more, I knew what I wanted, I wanted Kellin.