Melodies

I blush furiously and look down when Sydney catches me staring at him. Everyone was tuning, so I thought I'd be polite and be quiet for a while, and my eyes just wandered over to him. I didn't know he'd ever look in my direction. Maybe it was my obnoxious hair that caught his eye.

I rest Juice on my lap (Juice is the name I've given to every instrument I've played since I was six. It's a little bit of a long story. I wanted to name it after Mr. Simpson, because he was the one who offered to begin teaching me. That made me think of O.J. Simpson. That made me think of orange juice. Thus, Juice.) and lean back against the head of the seat, staring at the sheet music in front of me. It was a Gavotte piece Mr. Turner (my private instructor) gave me to work on, nothing too complicated. It wasn't my favorite or anything, but whatever. You have to work super hard to get to the point where you get to pick what you play.

I love my viola to pieces, but it's going to kill me some day, I'm sure of it. I go to lessons two nights a week, chamber two early mornings before school starts, youth symphony orchestra every other Monday, orchestra class every B day, and I help with the youth strings orchestra when they perform. The rest of my time is pretty much filled with practice and homework. I'm lucky if I get over four hours of social time outside of school, most weeks.

It'll be worth it though, when it gets me the scholarship that actually allows me to go to college. That isn't why I started playing, of course, but that's why I stick with it so determinedly. I started it because it seemed cool. I kept with it and started taking private lessons when the guidance counselor told me it was easier to get a scholarship with a viola. I don't dropkick it across the room when I just want to sleep and stop practicing because I love it. I love the way the strings ring broadly, instead of sounding high and tinny, like violins seem. I love the weight of the bow as I pull it across the strings. I love how the low notes rumble and the high notes yell. I love the vibration it makes, going through my arm and collarbone. I just love it.

And that's why I like B days more than A days. A days I'm in gym 4th block instead of orchestra. B days, I come in as quickly as I can from English to get to my locker, then my seat. I'm usually one of the first ones there, and I enjoy the solitude and peace. But I won't deny that it makes me happy when Sydney comes in early too.

I don't really know what it is about him, but there's something there. I don't even know him that well, really. I just know that he makes my chest feel weird, like...tight and fluttery. I notice that when he turns around to pass papers back in Spanish, or when we accidentally bump in gym. Those are my favorite moments. He always smiles apologetically, while still looking kind of amused and completely unshaken, before going off to mess around with Alex, his friend.

I admire that, the way he's so carefree. I admire it, and I'm incredibly jealous that he can do it.

Mr. Kitching claps his hands eventually, and everyone goes quiet. Well, quiet enough.
He turns around in his 'high and mighty' chair and gestures to the board while straightening his glasses. "Reminder to everyone who still hasn't turned in their formal wear from our last concert, we'll need it back for the upcoming trip. Don't forget to get your permission slips signed for that. After that, we'll just be focusing on working towards our Christmas concert, even though that is some ways off. At least we'll be good and prepared." He chuckles a little. No one else does, so he awkwardly clears his throat and moves on. "We got an email this morning that they are still accepting people for the showcase. We already have four soloists, Emily, Katy, Jess and Chris, but we only have one duet. We need another to have our school accepted for this. Is there anyone who'd like to volunteer?"

I smirk to myself. Hell no, I am not going to volunteer myself for another piece to practice, and with another person, at that. Socially awkward penguin here, thank you.

No one raises their hand, unsurprisingly. I feel bad for him. But only in the way that I hate other people for not volunteering. Not in the way where I'd actually raise my hand and sign myself up for that. It isn't even a competition, there's hardly any point to it.

He looks around, at the basses, at the cellos, at the violas (I shrunk in my seat, lowering my face), at the second violins. His face lit up all of a sudden. "Sydney? Would you be willing to try it?"

Well, schnit. He's going to call people out.

Sydney kind of ducks his head, even though he isn't really shy, when everyone looks at him. "Uh, okay, I guess."

"Great! That's fantastic. Now we just need a partner for you. Is there another violin that would like to volunteer?" No response, of course. Swell. "Well, that's okay. It's better with two different instruments anyway. We could have a cello, maybe? Carolyn??"

I breathe out silently in relief. I wouldn't mind working with Sydney (not at all, if you catch my drift), I just don't want to start another song. Not right now.

Carolyn carefully hides her phone behind her cello when Mr. Kitching turns to face her. "I'm already signed up for a solo."

"Alright, how about a viola, then?" I know he's going to say it before he does. "Kell?"

Here's the thing about old, sweet, kind of crazy orchestra instructors that decide your grade: You can't say no to them.

I pull up Juice so he's resting on his endpin on my thigh, and kind of hide behind that. I can feel people staring. They're sending messages to me. 'Say yes, so he won't ask me. Please?'

"Uh, sure."

He smiles really big. "That's great of you, thank you Kell. I can give the two of you the information after class, and you can decide on a song at another point in time. Moving on, I'd like to start class today with a C major scale and work our way up to a D major..." I tune out the rest of what he says. I'm mad. I didn't want to do it, but I said yes anyway. I already have enough to do, with the recital coming up and the new song we're doing in symphony and learning the music for the strings concert in three weeks...

I glance over at Sydney. He looks up at me again. I bite my lip, and this time, instead of looking away, I shrug and give my attempt at a half-smile. He grins at me before he picks up his violin and joins everyone else in the scale.

Well, I guess maybe it won't be THAT bad.