Melodies

Friday felt like Monday. We'd had Thursday off for the broken pipes, but they fixed that issue and we had to go back for the last day of the school week. It was a B day, which meant I was with Sydney for Trig and English. After that, Jamie and I had Geography. Sydney had to go to Government, on the other side of the school.

Jamie and I had begun to be tense around each other. We were constantly arguing, apologizing, making up, and then arguing again. It was difficult to come home sometimes, both wanting him to be there and dreading him being there. I'd walk in and find him dead asleep on the couch, on the stairs, in front of his laptop. It drove me crazy how he pushed himself to exhaustion and beyond.

He'd started wearing thick sweatshirts all the time. It was mid-October, so it actually was starting to get colder, but no one else looked as cold as Jamie did. He shivered and shook, and his lips started to turn blue-ish purple, the same as his nails changing color. His eyes were hollow and dark, letting everyone around him know what he was feeling. Usually, he was feeling pretty bad.

Jamie came into Geography a few minutes late, taking his normal seat behind me. I turned to face him, shifting my position in my seat. He blinked tiredly at me. I bit the inside of my cheek. It hurt to look at him and know that all of this was happening again.

"You okay?"

He shrugged. It was a small movement, but it looked like it took all of his energy. "Just tired."

That was bullshit.

"If you say so."

I rested my face on my hand. "Are you going to be home tonight?"

"Maybe. Aaron might want to go running or something."

Right. Aaron. Aaron went to county schools, also a senior, and had the same disorder as Jamie. They met by chance at a game a while ago, and since, they'd been inseparable. They sat around planning diets together, they ran, they walked, they researched weight loss techniques; they did everything.

Unlike Jamie, Aaron seemed to really come alive as he wasted away. He spoke quickly, excitedly, about everything, with wide eyes. He usually carried around an energy drink, which I think contributed to his liveliness. I'd tried before to get Jamie to drink soda or energy drink or even just coffee, so he might not be quite so drastically tired throughout the day. He insisted on sticking to water, though. Occasionally, he would have Diet Coke, but it was pretty rare.

"Well, if you go running, don't forget water, okay?"

I found that if I could make myself be patient enough, I could guilt Jamie into doing what I wanted him to do. If I made it seem like I'd given up completely, he would sometimes rethink his decisions.

He looked down at his desk and sighed. "Maybe I'll just stay home tonight. I could do a home workout or something."

It was a start. I smiled tightly, mostly fake. "Sounds fun."