Melodies

Jamie drove me home. Jamie left me alone while I took a pathetically short nap. Jamie woke me up. Jamie drove me to Mr. Turner's. Jamie waited out in the car. Jamie drove me home. Jamie cooked.

Jamie's pretty much my mom most of the time, because Momma works a lot. He's a better mom anyway. He has a driving license, he can cook more than crap macaroni, he wakes up in time, etc.

It's kind of weird how it turned to him taking care of me, because it was originally Momma and me taking care of him. He has a history of eating disorders that landed him in the hospital a few times. It was hard to live with, and even harder to try and help.

The first time I went to see him in the hospital by myself was the first time he ever really talked to me more than the required amount to be polite. Since then, we were okay and started to grow closer. He started to really show improvement with his eating and everything around the time I started eighth grade. Since then, I have been Jamie's little brother and he's been my older brother, and we're pretty much best friends that just happen to live together. When Momma started her new job, he started taking more responsibility for me and the house and everything. I feel guilty about it most of the time, but I'm thankful for it. I don't know if I would have the time or energy to remember half the stuff he does, let alone how to do it.

He leaves me alone when we get home from my lesson, ditching me so he can cook and I can start my homework. I start with Trig and work through that for about an hour. Trig's easy enough, it just takes forever. It would help if I could stop being distracted every 2 seconds, but that just isn't happening. I want to play.

Mr. Turner assigned me a new solo to work on, along with the one I've had for about three weeks. They're both Gavotte pieces, but I love the new one and only kind of like the first one. The first one is Gavotte #1 in Suzuki Volume 3, by Martini. The new one is Gavotte in G Minor, #3 in the same book, by Bach.

I just love how it all flows together, and how the dynamics move in waves. The A section is easy, which is always good because it repeats a lot. I only shift a few times in the whole piece, and realistically, if I absolutely wanted to, I could do the whole thing in first position. It's not often that something that's seems that pretty to me is that easy.

I have to wait to play though. It's a self-made and self-enforced rule: homework before practice. Which is pretty much my way of saying "work before pleasure." Because once I start playing, I won't be able to stop for a long time. I'll stay up too late and forget my homework and throw my whole schedule off.

It takes a while to get through what's at least due tomorrow. Most days I do what I'm assigned that day instead of stalling, so I won't get too behind. But I didn't do my Spanish, due first period tomorrow. Luckily, we didn't have much in Geography or Earth/Space Science today, so I'm nearly done by the time Jamie pulls me out of the chair and makes me eat.

He's careful about nutrition and everything, so we're always eating vegetables and fruits and lots of health junk. No one under his roof would ever be caught eating loads of junk. The bad part is I hate vegetables and he makes me eat them. I can't just pick at them and throw them away later like I could when Momma cooked.

He allows me to eat quickly and return, and I finish the PowerPoint of notes for Geography in a rush and immediately shut my laptop and go out into the garage, opening the trunk and getting my case out.

And I play. I play until 10:45, when Jamie comes in and tells me to quit. "You still have to shower, and you have chamber tomorrow morning."

"No, it was cancelled. And I can shower later, it doesn't even take ten minutes."

"Kell, shower. You have gym tomorrow and I won't let you in the house if you smell."

"You can hose me down in the driveway. Just twenty more minutes, okay?"

He sighed, and I notice how tired he looks. He's a senior this year, so he doesn't have a bunch of schoolwork, but he's been stressing over colleges and stuff. And keeping the house clean for Momma. And taking care of me. And...more that I don't know about.
"Let me see your fingertips."

I pout a little, but shove my left hand at him. He examines my fingertips carefully. I know they're red and rough and have lines from the metal strings. He shakes his head. "Five minutes. And you will shower, or I will wake you up with a bucket of ice water."

And he walks out, leaving me to go through the new piece another time. I spent a lot of time on it tonight, and then about half an hour improving the Martini piece, and then I went through some of the duet sheets Mr. Turner gave to me to look through. He was more than happy to hear I was doing something like this, and said that Sydney could of course come with me tomorrow. He gave me some music to look through, to help me find which one I liked.

Jamie comes back into the room after six minutes. "Pack up, you need to shower. Come on, I want to go to bed soon. I keep getting written up for falling asleep in French."

"You can go to bed, I can shower on my own."

"If I go to bed, you won't shower and you'll fall asleep at like, 3 a.m. in the middle of reading or something. I know you. So just go shower."

I pack up in a huff. "Why are you so pissy today?"

"I wouldn't have to be if you would just cooperate. I'm done discussing this. You'll shower or I'll hide your phone."

I dropmy case by the stairs as I go up, slamming the bathroom door shut once I'm in there. I hear Jamie shut his door loudly as I start the water, halfway through taking my shirt off.

By the time I'm out and walking to my room, shivering in a towel, I can hear Jamie's music playing. He's being super bitchy today, and I know sometimes he gets overwhelmed and I know he thinks and works differently than I do, and I know I owe him a lot, but I get pissed super easily and it takes me a while to get over it sometimes.

I hurry to pull on a pair of clean boxers and rub my hair sort of dry with the towel, and I walk down the hall and knock on his door. He doesn't answer at first, and I almost start to think he actually fell asleep, but then there comes a quiet "nngh."

"Can I come in?"

"...yeah."

I open the door and walk in blindly. The lights are all off, but I can sort of see with the light coming in through the window. I sit down on the edge of his bed. "Sorry."

He makes a sort of sighing noise. "Don't be. I know you have a lot to do. I shouldn't have been so bossy."

"Nah, if you weren't, I'd die or something."

He laughs quietly as he gestures for me to move up with him. I do so, stretching out and stealing half his pillow, probably soaking it with my wet hair. "So, we go to school at eight tomorrow, instead of 7?"

"Yeah."

"'kay. I'll get you up at 7:15 then."

I nod. "That's fine." There's a pause then, and it's almost awkward. But it isn't, because I can't be awkward with Jamie. "Are you okay?"

He takes a second to respond. "Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"

"You seem a lot more stressed lately. I know it can...get weird when that happens."

"It's nothing."

"Okay. Just don't keep it all inside."

He agrees, and kisses my forehead and sends me to bed. I obey, and fall asleep soon, listening to the soft sound of his music coming from down the hall, because music is everywhere, always.