Melodies

I think the worst part of being sad is that sometimes, you're so depressed that you don't even really want to be happy anymore. You're just consumed by the hollow feeling that spreads through your whole body.

I quickly realized that that was what was happening with Kell, and it killed me.

A week after the 'we aren't having sex' thing, I texted him and told him I was coming over. We'd agreed to meet for rehearsal for the duet we were supposed to play again. He hasn't messaged me or anything, so I'd reminded him just in case he forgot. He didn't respond, but he often didn't reply to texts, so I wasn't worried.

I knocked on the front door, and let myself in, as I did when his mother wasn't home. I shut the door behind me and kicked my shoes off, using my hand to steady the violin case on my back.

I looked up as I was untying the laces to see Jamie in the front room, facing away from me, scanning a textbook. He told me over his shoulder, "Kell's upstairs."

"Thanks."

I went upstairs and found Kell's door shut. I tapped on it, quietly at first, then a little louder. I received no response.

I pushed the door open, just a little at first, then further. I found Kell's legs, but not the rest of him. His legs, from the knee-down, were exposed while the rest of his form was covered by his duvet.

Quite simply, it was adorable.

I shut his door, making sure it clicked loudly enough for him to hear if he was awake.

He slowly shoved the covers off of his face and chest, sending me a tired, slightly aggravated look. Not knowing what else to do, I lamely said, "I texted you."

"I know." His voice was hoarse. "I don't think we should practice today."

He moved to make room for me next to him on the bed. I set my case down and joined him, jumping a little when I felt how warm he is.

"Fuck, you're burning up!"

"I know." He sent me a miserable expression. "I've been hot all day, and my head hurts."

I pressed a kiss to his cheek, playfully saying, "Poor, sick-" I made to say his full name. But I realized I'd never been told what it actually was.

"What's your full name?"

"It's just Kell. I think my mom was in a phase when she named me."

"Oh. I thought maybe Kell was short for Kellin or something."

"Nope, just Kell. Kell Scott Anderson."

"Sydney Eric Nicholson."

He smiled, still looking tired, but pleased. "I like your name."

"I like yours too." I took his hand and played with it, tapping his fingers and palms and tracing his nails.

He sighed after a minute of the two of us just watching our hands as I messed around. "I'm sorry we can't do anything normal anymore. I wish it could just be over, but I don't control that."

"It's okay. Recovery takes time. For everyone. And you did say he's started putting weight on again, right?"

"Yeah. So he'll be pissy and a total bitch for a while, but I won't be as paranoid for his health."
"See? It gets better."

He rolled his eyes. "I cannot believe you just used that cliché."

I just smiled at him, squeezing his hand once before standing from his bed. "I'm going to get you some ibuprofen. Do you want anything else?"