Too Young to Understand

It’s been two months since Zacky and Brian have spoken a word to each other. It’s also been two months since Jimmy and Zacky have spoken a word to each due to the fact that he hated Zacky for hurting his best friend.

Zacky spent his lunch in the library, studying and doing homework, but not today. He was online looking at adoption sites to find a home for his baby that was now starting to show. He had spent half of his savings on new clothes so he could keep his secret up, but he was beginning to face a new problem and that was his abdomen; which was beginning to grow.

He was pretty sure that people were starting to think he was getting fat because he wore sweats, a baggy hoodie, and he ate a snack in between every class period. He was a bit worst at home, but no one knew or needed to know that.

He sighed and clicked on a random link and found a phone number to some service. He grabbed his notebook and scribbled the number down before closing out and stuffed his things in his bag before exiting the library.

Deciding that it would be best if he called before lunch was over he exited the building and went to his car for more privately. He punched the number in and pressed his cell phone against his ear, listening to the ringing. He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel nervously before some picked up.

“Hello?” the voice asked, it sounded deep and raspy.

Zacky cleared his throat, nervous about what he was gonna say, “Hi… um… you don’t know me. Hell… I don’t even know you. B-but… I called to ask you something.”

He heard shuffling on the other side of the line, “Okay, you have my full attention.”

He bit his lip, his free hand was twirling his hair, “Um… I’m Zack Baker. I’m in high school… a-and I’m p-pregnant…”

“You saw our number listed and that’s why you called I’m guessing then?” the guy asked.

Zacky nodded before shaking his head, remembering that the other couldn’t see him, “Yeah…”

“Well that’s prefect! We just put the notice about it a week ago, that was quick. How ‘bout we meet up somewhere for dinner, my treat. Where do you live and when is a perfect time for you?” the man’s voice raised a bit, probably out of excitement.

“Huntington Beach. I’m free whenever…” he switched the phone over to his right ear.

“Perfect! How’s tonight at… Olive Garden… at six thirty?” the man questioned.

“That will work.”

“Perfect! I’m Matt, by the way. I’ll see you tonight!” with that the call disconnected and Zacky felt relief wash over him, but now a new form of nervousness took over.

If he was gonna go out tonight to meet his baby’s new family, he has to find something nice to wear, and he didn’t really want to go alone to meet some strangers. Then again… these strangers were the only ones who knew his secret… and if they wanted to adopt his baby… the words, pregnant and baby… were mostly likely going to fall into their conversations tonight.

He sighed deeply before deciding he should head to class before he was late and would worry about this more when he got home.

--------

He took one last breath before stepping inside the restaurant and glancing around for no reason because he didn’t know what the guy looked like. He walked up to the hostess and rubbed the back of his neck; she grinned and asked the usual question.

“Umm… I don’t know if the guy told you this… but his name is Matt and I’m suppose to join him.” he could feel sweat collecting on his forehead.

The hostess nodded, “Are you Zack Baker?” he nodded and she mentioned him to follow her to wherever Matt is. She stopped and pointed at the table with a young couple sitting there before walking away and both of them stood up to greet Zacky.

A young man approached him who seemed to be in his mid-twenties. He had a buzz cut and huge dimples. His eyes were a rich hazel and his ears were pierced with two diamond studs. He wore black jeans with a white button-up shirt, the sleeves pulled up to his elbows.

He held his hand out for Zacky to take. Zacky gripped the hand firmly and shook it before letting go, “I’m Matt. I’m guessing you already knew that seeming as it’s oblivious.” He pointed to his partner.

A young woman held her hand out for him to shake as well. She had platinum blonde hair that was tied back into a neat bun. Her eyes were a chocolate brown, and were circled with black eyeliner, and blue eye-shadow. Her lips looked glossy, and he had sliver earrings hanging from her earlobes. She wore a strapless, light blue dress.

“I’m Val.” she greeted and took a seat next to her partner in the booth.

Zacky sat in the empty booth and glanced at the menu. “So how many months?” Matt asked, making him look up to face the couple.

“Um…” he counted with his fingers under the table, “almost four.”

Val grinned with all teeth showing, “How exciting!” she gripped Matt’s upper arm, “Isn’t it Matty?”

Zacky chuckled at his pet name. Matt nodded, “Of course. Man, you have no idea how happy we are.”

He shook his head slowly because he really didn’t. He was just a teenager and he wasn’t ready for the responsibilities of becoming a parent. These two however, seemed ready to take on the job of being a parent.

“We really do thank you for helping us. It must have been hard deciding on the right family, after all… it’s still your child for now.” Val pointed out, taking a sip of her water.

He nodded, “Well… in a way you’re helping me out.” he chuckled nervously.

Matt nodded, “I bet. You seem like a fine young man with a big future ahead of you, I bet this has been hard on you the last few months.” the other nodded and he continued, “Val and I have been trying for a while, and after a check up with our doctor… she said Val could never conceive a child. So… after we recovered a bit from that news, we posted that ad online and then you came along.”

Zacky rubbed his arm, “I’m sorry to hear that…”

Val shook her head, “Don’t be. You’re going to hand us a healthy baby and that’s all that matters.”

After dinner they agreed on meeting up again this weekend to talk about what’s going to happen during the rest of Zacky’s pregnancy before they waved goodbye and disappeared to their car. Zacky returned to his, slipping on his hoodie before driving back home.

He felt somewhat relieved about this whole thing and he was sure that he wouldn’t worry about this as much as he did before. He found a family and he just needed to keep the next few months a secret and then this whole thing would blow over and he could fix any damage that he’s done.

--------

He pulled up to the large house and doubled check to make sure it was the right address before stepping out of the car and heading to the front door. He was about to knock, only to have the front door open by Matt, who grinned.

“Hey, Zack! We thought we’d discuss things over a barbecue, hope you haven’t eaten.” he allowed Zack to pass through, before shutting the door and showing him to the backyard.

The place itself was huge. The hallway had lots of windows above, and a few pictures on the wall of Matt and Val mostly, a few with other people he didn’t know. They came into the den, which held a large flat screen TV with an Xbox hooked up to it.

Matt stepped through the open slide door and gestured over to where Val was sitting, and another unfamiliar face.

Val glanced up and grinned with all teeth, racing up to give Zacky a hug, “It’s really nice to see you again.” she said, before pulling away and pointing to the girl, who was now standing behind Val. They looked almost alike, expect she was slightly chubby, and had long, wavy, brown hair. “This is my sister, Michelle.”

He shook the girl’s hand, who grinned, “Nice meeting you, Zack.”

Matt crossed his arms over his chest and smirked, “They’re twins, so if you got any twin jokes, lay it on. I might need some for later.” he chuckled, playfully smacking Zacky in the back.

Zacky laughed nervously, “I don’t actually…”

“Too bad. Oh well.” he smacked his hands together, “So I’ll get grilling!”

Val grabbed the student and dragged him over to the table they kept by the pool, “You want anything drink? Soda, water, tea…?

“Whatever’s fine.” he stated before glancing over at Michelle who sat next to him.

“High school student, huh?” he nodded before she continued, “Where’s the daddy?”

Zacky looked down at his lap, he didn’t feel comfortable about answering that question, nor did he want to. He bit his lip, thinking how he could word this without getting emotional because he still missed him a lot and he still cries over the fact that he ruined their relationship.

“Broke up…” he whispered.

The twin placed her hand on her chest, “I’m so sorry… I just thought--”

He held up a hand, “Don’t be. You didn’t know.”

She placed her hands on the table, playing with one of her rings, “Don’t worry. One day you’ll find a man that’s supportive of you.”

He wanted to say that Brian was supportive because deep down, he knew if he had told Brian… he would be there every step of the way. But he pushed him away when he was only trying to figure out what was going on and he never thought of this before, but he feels terrible for not giving Brian a chance to know when they were still together.

It’s too late now…

He nodded slowly, “I hope so…”

Val came back with a salad and a pitcher of light brown liquid, “It’s my homemade ice tea recipe, and my special Italian salad.” she placed it on the table and turned around to yell, “Matt, before you come out, grab the plates and cups!”

She sat down across from him, “Any fun plans this weekend, Zack?”

He wanted to laugh at that statement because he hadn’t done anything in quite some time now, but he simply just shook his head, “Nada.”

“Oh well, maybe next weekend.” she said, as Matt came out with the plates and cups.

“Couldn’t bother to go back inside?” he joked, kissing her on the cheek before going over to the grill.

“So Zack?” she asked as she grabbed the pitcher and poured everyone a cup before handing it to everyone, “Have you’ve seen any doctor’s yet?” he slowly shook his head, causing Val sigh heavily, “Why not? It’s really important that you have regular checkups during your pregnancy. It’s so the doctor can make sure that you and the baby are alright.”

He shrugged, nipping on his lip, “I… um… don’t really have the money to go to the doctors…” he wasn’t really lying since it was true. His mom was tight on money since his dad moved out.

“Well… since we’re going to adopt this baby, then we’re going to cover your medical expenses. I’ll have Matt call in on Monday for an appointment, we can even take you if you like.” she said, grabbed the salad and placing a little on each plate, “What day and time works best for you?” she asked.

“Anything day and time after school.” he stated, grabbing the plate that Val had filled up from him, he grabbed his fork and took a bit of the salad.

Matt came back over with a plate of burgers and placed them down in the center of the table, “Eat up!”

----------

He tore through half of his closet looking for something to wear that didn’t show his bump, which had gotten much bigger in the past few weeks. He was almost six months in and still the only people who knew were the people who were gonna adopt his child.

He finally found a shirt that Brian had given him that was far too big for him. He frowned, remembering the other day where he saw Brian flirting with some chick in the hallway as he made his way to class. He was sure the other had officially gotten over him, but he still hadn’t.

Maybe today he will go over to Brian and force him to talk to him. He nodded to himself and grabbed his bag before leaving to his car and heading off to school. The whole way thinking how he was gonna gets back together with Brian.

------------

He leaned against a wall by the lunch room door. He took in a few deep breaths before glancing down to make sure he wasn’t showing. He pushed himself off the wall and marched his way inside the lunch room to the table he used to sit at.

Jimmy was playing with a fork while Brian was talking to a couple of guys that were sitting there. He wanted to turn around, afraid of being ignored, but before he could stop himself… he stood by the table and coughed to get the other’s attention.

Crystal blue eyes glared at him, “Go away, Baker.” he spat.

He shook his head and pointed at Brian, “Brian… can I talk to you…?”

The other rubbed his forearm nervously for minute, glancing over at the guys who were shaking their heads at him. He sighed, “I’m busy…Zack…”

“Brian… please…” he begged.

Jimmy turned in his seat to face him, “Brian doesn’t want to talk to you.”

“What are you, his mom?” he asked, angrily, glancing back over at his ex, “Please, Brian.”

The other held his hands up, “Alright… what do you want?” he asked causally.

The green-eyed man shook his head, “Not here… somewhere more private…”

Jimmy shook his head again, but the other stood up, “Fine. I’ll be back guys.” he waved off, following his ex outside where it was quieter and hardly anyone around.

Brian leaned up against the brick wall with his arms crossed over his chest, “What?”

He played with the sleeve of his hoodie, debating whether or not to tell Brian the full truth. He sighed and glanced down at his feet, “I miss you.”

Nothing was said for a few minutes, causing his heart to race because he already knew what Brian was going to say. He wanted to go back in time and make sure he didn’t go up to the lunch table asking for him, but life doesn’t have a remote control.

Brian rubbed the back of his neck, “Um… I’m actually seeing someone.”

He bit his lower lip, “Oh… that’s good… I guess….”

The other sighed and placed a hand on the other’s shoulder, “We can be friends, nothing wrong with that, right?”

He shook his head slowly, feeling tears swell up in his eyes, “No, we can’t.”

Brian nodded, understanding the reason for it already, “Look… I waited actually… I waited for a long time, but you didn’t come around. I knew if I bothered you, you would ignore me or just yell at me. Then Jimmy finally got me to leave the house and we went to this party… I was drunk, but I met this girl…”

“I wouldn’t have done that.” he defended himself, but deep down, he knew he probably would have yelled at Brian.

“Zack…I know it’s hard, but maybe you should start seeing other people.” the other suggest.

Zacky shook his head, “I don’t want to…I still love you.” his voice cracked a bit.

Brian bit his lower lip to think, “I still love you too…”

He glanced up for the first time since they started talking outside, “Then why can’t we be together again? Huh?” tears streaming down his flush cheeks, “W-why can’t we be happy together, and do everything together.”

Brian felt terrible for hurting the other’s feelings, he wanted to hold him and tell him everything would be okay, but it wasn’t going to be. He sighed, “Zacky…” he began, watching the other wipe his eyes, “Its better this way. I thought you said we weren’t meant to be.”

He shook his head, letting out a sobbed, “I was lying! I-I broke up… with you for another reason.” he glanced back down to the ground, “I hate that night so much, Brian.” he whispered.

The other nodded slowly, taking in a deep breath, “What was the real reason then?” his eyebrow raised.

Zacky shock his head, he still couldn’t tell the other the truth because he would hate him for not telling him months ago. He would probably yell at the other and he wasn’t prepared to hear any of that. He made eye contact with the mocha brown eyes and cleared his throat.

“I still can’t tell you.” he whispered.

“Why not? Just ‘cause we’re broken up, doesn’t mean I won’t listen to you. I still care.”

He shook his head, “Brian… you wouldn’t understand… I want to tell you… but I can’t…”

Brian seized the other’s chin, “I feel like you forget this, but I really do care. If I had my choice of helping you or all the money in the world, I would choose you.”

He shook his head, “I-I… can’t…it wouldn’t be right anyways. You have a new girlfriend now, I’m the ex and I just need to deal with the fact that…” he held back a sob, “we will never be together again.”

The words hit Brian hard as if someone was throwing a rock at him in the stomach. He didn’t want Zacky to feel that way, he wanted to protect him and make him feel safe, but he couldn’t. He was seeing someone else and any sign of affection to his ex was now considered cheating. She’s probably wouldn’t even like the thought of Brian talking to his ex.

He sighed, “Look… I know you said we can’t be friends… but maybe if you give it a chance… we can.”

The other nodded slowly, lending his head on the break wall, “I’ll try…”

“If you don’t feel like it’s working, then I understand.” Brian grinned, “How ‘bout we get together this weekend? Wanna go out to dinner and catch up?” he asked.

The other thought about it and nodded, “Sure. I have a thing on Saturday and Friday after school… but other than that, I’m free.”

“Prefect… how ‘bout six at the pizzeria, I’ll come--”

He held up his hand, cutting the other off, “If we’re gonna be friends… we can’t do that just yet. I’ll meet you there.”

Brian nodded, “Okay then. See you then.”

---------

“So yeah, I finally got that amp I’ve been saving up and it sounds amazing.” he took a bite of his pizza, “You should come over and hear it, it’s just… wow.”

The other nodded, going for his third slice, he was starving tonight and he cursed the baby. “Sure, sometime.”

He put his slice down and grabbed a napkin, wiping his fingers off, “So what’s up with you lately?”

Zacky shrugged, “Oh… you know… the usual. Nothing new really.” actually, I’m pregnant and it’s yours.

“Well Zacky, I don’t believe that. Name one new thing and I’ll leave that alone.” he crossed his arms over the table, staring at the other.

Zacky nodded slowly, “I um… got a new pencil. Its blue and it takes .07 lead.”

“There we go!” Brian cheered, grabbing his second slice. “So what are you doing next weekend? ‘Cause I have two tickets to this show and Jimmy has something else to do that night… so?”

The green-eyed man shook his head, “I can’t… I have plans already with my mom.”

Brian shook his head, “Its fine.”

Zacky placed his pizza down on the plate and took a heavy breath in, “Hey, Bri?” he glanced up while working on getting all the cheese that was falling off his slice into his mouth. Zacky tapped his foot under the table, “Um… I was wondering… if you know… anything about cars. Mine makes this weird sound sometimes and--” he was nervous, and it doesn’t help that he was with his ex-boyfriend.

“Cars?” Brian asked laughing, “Not really. I know this guy though if you want. He can take a look at it, no charge because he owes me.”

Zacky shook his head, “Oh no… actually I’m pretty sure it’s just the stuff moving around in the back.” he grabbed his wallet and placed the money on the table, “On me.” he stood up nervously, “I… I’ve got this thing you know--”

“Zack, chill.” Brian stood up and placed a hand on his shoulder, “Thanks, I had fun. I hope we can do this again.” he grinned.

The other nodded and walked to the exit door with Brian in tow, “Yeah…” maybe next time you’ll actually tell him.

--------------

His due date was in one month from now, and the doctor told him it was best to stay at home the closer he got to his due date. If only the doctor knew what he was trying hide, then he would’ve said something different like, do what you normally do and if you go into labor, you should call Matt.

He had been spending some time with Brian lately and it made him feel guiltily if anything. The other was so in the dark about being a dad and having a baby. He had contemplated many different ways on how to tell Brian and such… but he couldn’t force himself to tell Brian when he would begin his speech. He would end up talking about the most random thing that comes into mind and Brian thought it was funny.

He wasn’t comfortable at all anymore expect around Matt and Val. They made him feel good about himself because he was going to give them something that he couldn’t have. Some day’s he thought about running away and raising the kid on his own, but he blamed hormones for even putting such idea in his head.

He was still shocked at how no one seemed to notice. He was pretty big now, but he was sure he gained extra weight as well from all the junk food he’s been eating. His mom questioned it once and he answered back with, ‘I’m a growing man.” she never brought it up again.

He groaned out loudly and pressed his face against his pillow. Life sucked and he knew that his problems weren’t as bad as some peoples, but still. He hated everything about this whole thing! He could go on for hours about his problems, but he won’t. The guilt was becoming too much to bare. He’s reached the danger zone because he could go in labor any minute now and he can’t always be around Matt and Val because they had things to do.

Maybe he will tell somebody….

---------

The two friends walked through the park late into the evening. The sky was darkening and the sun was almost out of sight. The moon had already started coming up, turning the sky pitch black. A breeze touched the trees and the crickets began chirping.

Brian leaned against a tree when the made it to their spot in the park, which was hidden out of sight from everyone. He grabbed a hold of one of the branches above him and grinned, “You look nice under the moonlight.”

Zacky’s eyes widen, “What?! Brian--”

Brian motioned the other to come closer, outstretching one of his arms. Zacky was sure that Brian would attempt to hug him and shook his head quickly. The taller man pushed himself off the tree and grabbed a hold of the other’s hand, making him turn into stone from shock.

“I broke up with that girl because I thought about it for a while and decided that I wanted to be together with you.” he grinned, his eyes brighten under the moonlight. “I still love you so much. I won’t ever be able to let that go I think.”

Zacky felt the blood rushing to his cheeks, “Um… so are we…”

Brian nodded, “Only if you let me seal this with a kiss.” the other came into his personal bubble and he quickly took a step back, fearing that Brian would feel through his baggy hoodie.

“I have a cold sore.” he quickly explained, “I hear they can spread when they’re present.”

“Sure that’s not the nerves just talking?” the other teased, grabbing the other’s hand, “Now tell them to shut up and kiss me.” he tried to yank the other over, but the other held his ground.

“No… Brian. Being close is something that we can’t do right now.” he said, his voice shaking. He wanted to tell Brian so bad, but now was not a good time.

Brian laughed, “Oh please, I already get cold sores. There is really nothing to worry about it.” he let go of the other’s arm, came at the other at full force, knocking them both on the ground.

Emerald-eyes yelped when he was attacked, falling backwards onto the grass, Brian following with. He stretched his arms out to keep the other from falling on top of him. Brian chuckled as he had placed his palms on either side of Zacky.

“Have you’ve gained weight? Is that what you’re afraid of?” he asked, an eyebrow raised. He seemed to be full of amusement, but Zacky wasn’t anywhere close to that.

He felt a large contraction inside of him and he was sure that it wasn’t just the baby kicking. He was certain that the baby was coming out as he felt another contraction come over him.

“Fuck! Brian!” he exclaimed, “You’re going to really hate me after you hear this, but I’m in labor and we need to go now!”

The other’s face went from amusement to horror in seconds. He slowly pulled away from the other and scooted back to the tree, “What?” he asked, confused.

Zacky sat up slowly, feeling another contraction and he cursed quietly to himself, “Brian, please! I’ll explain later, just fucking help me!”

----------

“Matt, I’m on my way to the hospital.” he stated, as he rubbed his stomach in hopes to get rid of the pain that was becoming more and more intense. He hung up the phone and placed it back in pocket, glancing over at the man behind the wheel, “I’m sorry.”

His hands tightened around the wheel, “When were you going to tell me? This isn’t something I want to hear when this starts happening!” he gestured to Zacky in the passenger seat.

“You don’t understand--”

“You’re right, I don’t understand. I don’t understand any of this, mind explaining, we have a ten minute drive, so start talking.” he demanded.

Zacky took in a shaky breath, “It’s yours.” he whispered, closing his eyes, “This isn’t something that I’m proud of either. I hate it!” he wiped his eyes, feeling tears gloss over, “I was gonna get it aborted when I first found it, but I couldn’t!”

Brian glanced over to see the other turned to the window, “Why couldn’t you just tell me? If it’s also mine, don’t I have a say in this.”

Zacky shook his head, “Brian, I’m just in high school! This isn’t the time I should be worrying about having a baby, but I am. I wanted to tell you, but I was s-scared. I… liked how things were and then… well this happened…”

Mocha eyes closed for a moment, before opening them because he needed to see where he was going. “Zack--”

“No! Brian, I’m ashamed of myself! I hate myself, and… when I look back on these nine months, I’m going to hurt myself!” he yelled, slamming his fist down on the dashboard, “I went through h-hell, and I was scared and confused!”

Brian listened to Zacky sniff as he choked on a sob. He heard the other throw his head back into the headrest. He felt sorry for his ex because he went through this all by himself, but he was also angry that his ex didn’t tell him that.

He cleared his throat, “Who knows?”

Zacky nodded slowly, placing his hands over his eyes, “Two strangers I met online and are on their way to come see their baby.”

Brian felt his stomach churn, “You’re putting it up?”

“Unless you want!” he yelled.

They pulled up to the hospital. He shook his head slowly before looking over at the other, “I take back what I said earlier before I found out about this… I’ll help you inside, but Zack.” he sighed heavily, looking straight ahead at his stirring wheel, feeling those emerald eyes on him. “If you can’t even tell me you’re pregnant, then we can’t be together. I am sorry.”

The other looked away out the window, feeling his chest tighten. He nodded slowly, “Okay…”

The car door on the driver’s side opened up and closed, before he made his way over to Zack’s side. He helped the other out of the car and had his arms wrapped around him to make sure he wouldn’t fall over. He felt bad for the other, but shrugged it off.

When they walked inside, a nurse with a wheelchair came and took the green-eyed man away to a room, while Brian headed back for his car. Not daring enough to look back because he knew he could never be with Zacky again after this.