Married or Not, I Hate You

After I’d told Jamia I loved her,suddenly the machine went off and started beeping like crazy. I started panicking and stood up,nurses bursting in the door. «W-What’s happening!?» Eventually I got shushed out of the room and ended up panicking in the waiting room.

The waiting room was a cozy little squared room,with windows covering alot of the walls. There was a couple of people there,all looking worriedly at me and mum as I were walking back and forth. I was hyperventilating,tugging my hair and crying while mum was trying to make me sit down or something and calm me down.

The walls were white,like all the other rooms in the hospital. Mum had finally made me sit down and calm down a little,but I was still trembling and crying. Mum was holding me close to her,one arm snaked around my neck and caressing my tear-stained cheek and keeping my head on her shoulder. Her other hand was holding around over my chest and shoulder,stroking my upperarm gently. I was reflectivly snuggling closer to my mother,holding around her torso for comfort.

It feels really good to be this close to mum. I might be angry with my parents alot,but in the end I love them an awful lot. Though,probably not as much as I love Jamia.
And what made me more calm was that mum was actually trying to be a mother for me. I really felt like her son for once.
I’d actually start counting on mum and probably dad to be there more for me,now that Jamia couldn’t,since she was sick. Mum would probably try her best to be there for me,and maybe they’d stop pushing me on Gerard. I really did want nothing to do with him at the moment.

After a couple of hours of waiting,a doctor finally came into the waiting room.He didn’t look too happy though. «The Iero’s?» Mum nodded and we stood up,the doctor sighing. My stomach was twisting and I clutched for mums hand,squeezing it tightly. Mum returned the squeeze,just more genle. «I’m very sorry to say,but she didn’t make it.Her brain was too damaged for us fix at this short warning.You may see her whenever you want to.» Suddenly everything started going dizzy and I think I passed out.

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«Frankie?» I jolted awake as I heard dads soft voice. Everything felt heated,and I noticed that I was wearing my clothes. I leant up on my elbows and looked around. Everythign felt surreal,and I hadn’t gone completly consious yet. «Frankie?» This time I reacted to dads call and looked at him,his face not looking pleased. While studying his face for a split second I decided to look around where I was.
My room? But I was at the—It was a dream! «Oh dad,I had this nightmare! Like,Jamia was in this car accident and she was in a coma,then she died.And I felt so horrible and sad and..» I really felt happy that it was all a dream,then I realized that Jamia wasn’t around so I looked at dad again.

His eyes were red and glassy and my hope suddenly sank again. «D-Dad..Where’s Jamia?» He didn’t reply,and my voice started shaking again. «D-Dad..Da—Dad! L-Look at me,where’s Jamia!?» A sting pinched my chest as I looked dad in the eyes and he was struggling to not cry. «I-I’m sorry son,it wasn’t a dream. S-She’s dead,and you passed out in the hospital. You’ve been unconsious for almost 24 hours»

N-No..She can’t be gone. T-That’s impossible!

I sobbed loudly and shot up from bed,running out of the room. Dad called me from my room,trying to follow. Mum also tried to stop me and I noticed that there was other people there,but didn’t even registrate it properly. I ran out in the garden,not really looking where I was heading. As I slowed down my pace to jogging I collided with something..Or someone.