Married or Not, I Hate You

"I wake up to a scream,a piercing and painful scream. My ears start ringing. The air is filled with smoke and I can barely breath as I feel pressure to my chest. The suffocation is killing me. I try to raise up, but I’m unable to move. I’m paralyzed. The only thing I can move is my eyes, so I open them. I see a shadow over me. A black shadow. My eyes are barely open so I try to widen them. The shadow becomes clearer and I see who it is. Black hair and pale skin. I try to scream,but my voice is giving in,wait. It’s not giving in,I can’t speak because my mouth is covered with something. I look at the walls,they become smaller. The room has no windows or doors and the walls are moving closer and closer to me. I continue trying to scream or move,but I can only move my eyes. A hand strokes over my cheek, I look up to the persons face. I know who it is,but I can’t see his face. I feel suffocated. I feel crushed. My body is heavy and I can’t breath. The hand moves to my neck and starts caressing down my chest. I try to resist, but I cannot move. A heavier pressure moves upon me and I see the shadow right above me. Tears are pressing through my eyes and I feel the hand roaming further down my body. «Don’t you get it..?» The voice asks me. I look up at a pair of hazel eyes. The person takes his hand on my mouth and rips off whatever is covering it. I scream. The words just flow out of me,as if they were set automatically there. «Please don’t hurt me! I’ll be a good boy,I promise,I just wanna see mommy and daddy again!» I cry out. I don't feel like myself. I feel smaller, and my voice is more high pitched. Everything is different! I'm me, but I'm a different me. A younger me?"

I jolted awake, screaming. My breath was heavy, and I felt this cold sweat on me. I sat up and looked around, realizing I was in my own room. Fuck, this was the third night since I got home I had those nightmares again! I needed to know what was going on, and I knew my parents knew. Something when I was seven years old. Everytime I tried remembering something from that time I would get a headache or nearly pass out. They had to tell me what it was.

---

"Mum?" I ask as I enter her office. She looks at me and smiles, putting her papers down. "Yes, Frankie?" She hums and tacks on her computer. "Um, w-what happened when I was seven?" Then she froze for a slight second before looking back at me again. "Frankie, are you having the nightmares again? Do we need to go back to the therapist?"

Fuck, I knew it..

"No! Nono, I'm just curious. I mean, I heard you talking about something that happened to me when I was seven! Don't try to deny it, mum! I'm seventeen, I deserve to kno--" "Frank Anthony Iero Jr! Stop pestering your mother with these questions and go back to your room!" Dad's stern voice said, interrupting my plead. His face looked at me with a frown and I glanced disappointing at mum before walking out, hoping she'd feel guilty. I walked down in the living room, crashing on the couch and getting surrounded by all my dogs, now including Toto.

She fit right into the crowd, and everyone loved her! At least that brightened my mood. Though, I wasn't giving up. I planned on finding out what had happened soon 11 years ago, either with or without mums help.

Outside it was starting to become proper autumn, and my birthday was actually closing up! I wondered what Gerard would get me. I giggled, blushing slightly at the thought of it. Gerard shuffling awkwardly over to me, holding his hands behind his back while looking down slightly. "H-Here..Um, don't tell anyone though!" He stutter as he holds out a box to me.

My fantasy gets interrupted as I hear someone leave the house, and I rush over to the window, seeing mum and dad leaving. That was my chance! I dash up to dads office, then start searching in his desk.

The brown and coffee stained writing desk has alot of drawers, and I have to make sure I don't misplace anything so dad will notice. I open drawer after drawer, looking for something that might be a clue. What is it that I'm looking for exactly though? A newspaper? A document? Beats me, but I'm sure I'll know when I find it. I just hoped none of the maids would tell dad about me being in his office though.

After almost half an hour of searching I was ready to give up. There was nothing here! Only boring work documents. In frustration I slammed my fist in the desk, a hollow knock coming from it. I looked down at the place I'd hit, seeing there was a table cloth or something covering exactly that spot. I removed it rushingly, seeing exactly what I wanted to see! It was a little secret room in the desk, covered with a lock. I tried opening it, but it seemed to be stuck. Locked, and it had a key. But where was it? I went in dads key drawer and messed around. I grabbed all the keys I didn't know what was for and tried them on it.

After the 5th key, still no luck. I kept the procedeer. Grab a key, slam it into the lock, no match, throw it back in the drawer. Grab a key, slam it into the lock, no match, throw it back in the drawer. Grab a key, slam it into the lock, no match, throw it back in the drawer. Grab a key, slam it into the lock, it fits, take it back out.. "Holy shit, it fits!" I exclaim, slamming it back in to the lock. I turn the key around, hearing that beautiful 'click'. Slowly I open the locker to the secret drawer and find some newspaper articles.

I take them up, reading with capital letters; ''The Iero crisis!''. Well, this seems interesting.

I start reading the articles. "When young Frank Iero(7) was walking in the park with his maid Jamia(10), all of a sudden....." As I kept reading further and further into the article, my eyes grew wider and wider, and more feared. "W-What?" I stuttered out in a shaking voice.

What the hell is this? This can't be true.. It---

"Frank!?" I heard dads voice exclaim. I looked up at him, my eyes wide and teared up. They knew about this all along, but never told me? This was the reason for my paranoia, self-harming and nightmares? For soon 11 years, I'd gone with this secret buried in my mind. Not remembering what had happened to me. And nobody cared to tell me!?