I'll Play the Romeo, You Play the Juliet

It's been a month so far, Warped Tour is amazing everywhere! the kids are insane. But, I couldn't deny what I was feeling. The band was doing fucking awesome and everyone was having fun. Except me. Most nights I stayed in moping around while everyone went out to parties. Other nights I was awake and ready to party. I couldn't help but notice some people finding that odd. I mean one day is good another isn't.

Most of the time I took pain pills and/or alcohol to numb it just to get through the day. There were some nights when I really just wanted to leave this world. I wasn't ready to tell Austin any of that yet. He thought I was doing great but, noticed my roller coaster of emotions. He was so good to me though, he really was the only one who knew how to pull me out of my haze.

I don't know how but he did. Austin and I haven't done anything intimately yet, I just wasn't ready to get into something that personal. Austin was so cool about that, it really shocked me that someone could be so wonderful. I was sleeping with him in his bunk though. He would hold me through the whole night.

We were parked in a lot and I really needed some air. I took out a cigarette and lit it up. "Smoking is bad for you, you know." It was Linda. "hey!" I shot her a smile. "what are you doing out here? Austin's looking for you." She mumbled "Oh? I just needed some air."

"come on, I've known you for 10 years. what's up?" she always knew when something was bothering me. "nothing, I just i'm starting to feel blue again, the "euphoric state"( my fingers quoted the word) i was in is fading for now." She looked at me.

"Well, Austin already knows about this now it's time you tell him the real shit you're feeling. it isn't fair to keep him locked away. When the guy sincerely shows his love for you on a daily basis. you know? He's not going to run away you know. I was talking to him the other day......" oh, here it comes I can only imagine what he tells her. hey you're best friend, my girlfriend really is a psycho.

"What has he said?" I asked concerned. "He tells me how much you mean to him and how amazing you really are and it hurts him to see you in so much pain! He really fell in love with you." Hearing that changed my mood completely. "Have you guys said the L word yet?" she asked. "No, not yet I mean I know we feel that way but It's a huge word to go around spreading you know? I don't know when the time is right we'll say it." I told her with ease.

"haha I know you aren't going to be the first one saying it! even though you want too, right?" She laughed. "That is so true." Linda and I continued to talk and laugh. All of a sudden I felt arms around my waist and a kiss on my neck from behind. I turned around and it was Austin.

"Hey, Rapunzel! how are we this night?" He kissed me. "I'm doing alright I-" Linda cut me off, "I'm going in guys. Later." She punched me lightly in the arm then Austin's.

"Austin I have to talk to you." May as well tell him every thought in my head that way there aren't any secrets. No hiding no more feeling alone as it is.

"What's on your beautiful mind?" He kissed me again. We sat down and I put out my cigarette. Austin held me. "I'm going through a lot of emotions again, I know you notice one night i'm fine then another i'm completely off.'' " I have noticed but it doesn't bother me, It's alright to have those days. I have days like that too!" he kissed my nose.

"I know it's just, I've been so depressing? I know others don't understand." I started crying. "See? these tears? I don't want them to exist. I just wish I could stay content for a week with you, not worry about anything." He leaned his forehead on mine.

"Tears are so powerful, Gia. They show who we really are and that were strong enough to have feelings. Yours show strength and pain. I'm a master of both myself. You will get through this, we will together. I- I love you." I teared up harder and kissed him hard. Everything he says to me is sacred. "I love...I love you too!" <3

"You wanna go to bed? Come on, lets cuddle." he picked me up bridal style and put me in the bunk first. He then got in and snuggled us with blankets. ''Hey, I was wondering..." he began to speak. "I was wondering if when the tour ends and everything, if you'd want to move in with me?" I was in a relaxed panic. I've never lived with a guy before. But, I love him so I suppose it's the right thing to do.

"Really? I mean, are you sure?" I asked. "Yes! of course, I think it'd be wonderful for the both of us. that way we could always be together." He kissed me and I responded with a "yes, Yay!" He kissed me again and we both lay there asleep.

I went to bed realizing that tour would be over in a matter of two weeks. and I would be moving in with Austin. Oh, dear. I can handle it. I can.