Our End Never Got to Be Happy

Ronnie's p.o.v-
As the weeks flew by the constant thought of how I'm hurting him was driving me insane . I just can't take it anymore . I can't hate him , i love him too much but i can't love him without him dying . Well unless i go with Derek's, who is also a vampire, idea and turn jacky into a vampire . Though its a tempting idea i can't do that to him, or maybe thats to cliche ..Hm well it's better then saying im just to lazy to end my soul mates mortal life and possibly make him hate me . Alex had given me this same idea centuries ago but he was killed before i could even consider it . Then again it's not like i can just sit back and watch jacky die AGAIN . I don't know if i can take it , watching him die again , and again . It's driving me mad . I sighed deeply and buried my face in my hands . I heard footstep come lightly down the stairs and head in my general direction , aka the kitchen . I glanced up at the clock which read 3:15 am , who the fuck is up this god damn early in the morning ? As if the universe was answering my question Jacky entered the kitchen before taking one look at me and freezing in his foot step .
"Jacky ? " i said confused , before realizing this is my chance to be nice to him , to get him to like me . "Hey , why you up so early ?" I asked
"No reason , " he said quietly . It was aqwardly quiet for awhile as he turned his back to me and started making coffee , man he really likes coffee . I decided it would be a good time to start being nice
" hey jacky " i said nervously . He glanced up at me with a 'hmm' before returning to making his coffee . " Im sorry ," once i said this he turned to give me a very confused look and ask
"about what exactly are you apologizing for Ronnie ?"
"Well..to be honest , everything ." I said with a shrug . "Im sorry i acted like such a douche bag to you all the time . You don't deserve that . Your a nice guy and i shouldn't have treated you that way ," he stared at me for a few seconds before smiling slightly and telling me it was okay as he turned to finish making his coffee . I was honestly shocked , i mean i know i was being nice now but how can he forgive me so quickly ??
"You aren't even mad or hate me or anything ?" I asked
"No , you apologized so its okay , and i never hated you i just avoided you because you hated me ,"
"I didn't hate you jacky ," i said with a sigh . At this point jacky had finished making his coffee and was staring at me with a look of pure confusion .
"Then why did you treat me like you did ?" He asked . 'shit!' i thought to myself . It isn't like i can just tell him oh it's because i have loved you for centuries and every time you end up being killed because i love you so i decided it would be best if you hated me and you stayed alive . Oh and p.s. im a vampire ,uhm no .
"Shit , i don't know jacky It's just that..well..your so sweet and shy and nice and i just..i don't know ....i guess i wanted you to hate me so i couldn't ruin that .." I said frustratedly as i buried my face in my hand again
"I don't really understand whats going on her Ronnie but no matter what you did or said i would have never hated you ," he said with a smile .
"Yeah i know jacky .. so why are you really up this early ?" I asked .
"Couldn't sleep ," he replied and drank some of his coffee .
"Maybe because you drink coffee like its your life line ," i said with a laugh . He mock pouted slightly and replied
"but it is my life line , i will DIE without it ," he said and then smiled and laughed a little bit . Oh god i missed that . I missed his laugh and his smile , i missed him . Maybe this life can be the life we live right . Maybe we can be happy this time .
"So dramatic ," i laughed and rolled my eyes at the blue eyed man .
"Im not dramatic , "
"he replied dramatically ," i teased . Jacky rolled his eyes and smiled before drinking more of his coffee . Yeah ..maybe this will be it . We'll do it right this time , i'll make sure he survives even if it ends up meaning as a member of the undead .