Let Me Forget.

Josh

That night, I couldn't sleep. Usually, it was easy for me. But after the day I'd had, nothing was easy. Deciding how I felt wasn't easy, knowing what to do wasn't easy, just thinking in general wasn't easy.

I don't think my band even understood what was going on. According to Max, other than himself, I was the only one who knew.

Good.

If the rest of them knew, then they would think I was relapsing for sure.

Who knows, maybe they wouldn't even believe Max. They all believed just as much as myself that she was dead. Hell, I was even having a hard time believing him. I knew I needed to see her to actually believe it.

But I couldn't, apparently. It was complete bullshit. I didn't have a choice though. She had walked out on me, why would she willingly come back?

And then my phone vibrated next to me. I couldn't even think of who could be texting me at this time of night.

I heard the bus door slam closed, but thought nothing of it.

I opened my phone, noticing first that there was no sender. It was a blocked number. But the content told me exactly who it was.

It was an old picture. My hair was longer, we were smiling. Only one person had that picture, I didn't even have it anymore.

Not even knowing how to process this, I just locked it and put it down, flipping over and trying again for sleep.

Surprisingly, the message made it come easier this time.

There was violent shaking. Who would honestly wake someone up this way?

I turned over and saw Max standing there. I glared at him. "What?" I growled.

"Maddie's parents are at your door, mate" He told me. I just stared.

I pulled myself out of bed and ran my hand through my hair before going down to see them.

"Mr. and Mrs. Carver, what do I owe this early visit to?" I asked, politely possible. I always had to be polite with them.

"It's twelve, Joshua. But never mind that, do you know where Maddie is?" Her mother asked. I shook my head.

"When we came home, she was gone. Her clothes and bags, too. Easton is also missing."

My eyes widened. This wasn't happening. I darted upstairs for my phone and grabbed it, clicking Maddie's number that was on speed dial.

The voice on the other side told me it had been disconnected. My blood went cold.[/i[

I jolted away from my dream, panting heavily. I hadn't dreamed of that day in a long time. I couldn't imagine why I would now.

I rolled out of bed, noticing that no one else was up. I pulled my phone with me and headed into the kitchen area.

While I warmed something to eat, I finally replied to the message. Even though there was no number, I knew she'd get it. Maybe she'd tell me where she was.

I laughed at the thought. "Don't fool yourself into believing that, Josh." My head told me.

I didn't expect her to want to see me.

Whatever food I was cooking dinged and I pulled it out. It was Chinese.

Why I didn't bother to check what it was beforehand, I didn't know. I made myself comfortable on the couch and dug a spoon into it.

Then I heard my phone vibrate again. Why could it be now? I picked it up and almost dropped my food after I unlocked it.

The words displayed on the screen had to be an illusion. Something I had wanted to see for a long time.

She missed me. She missed me. She missed me, No matter how I said it, I couldn't believe it. I wanted to text her and ask her so many questions. I wanted to know her real number so I could call her and see how she was doing. I wanted to find her and yell at her for doing this to us.

But nothing came.

I replied with one word, one little word that needed to be asked. I knew she wouldn't answer, but I might as well try.

Just then, Max walked into the room yawning. He took into consideration my face and then paused before almost running back out of the room.

My eyes narrowed as I set the food down and chased it.

"TELL ME!" I yelled. I didn't care if no one else was away and that I would probably wake them.

"There's nothing to tell, mate!" He said, attempting to disappear into the back room and close the door on me.

"Then why are you running?" I said anxiously.

"Because" He told me through the door. I managed to push it open, tackling his body down.

"Tell me" I said again.

He wriggled around, trying to free himself, but couldn't. He finally sighed.

"I can't" He said quietly. I glared down at him. He just continued.

"I went to see her last night. I do know where she is. But I promised I wouldn't tell you anything."

Then I let him go, sitting back. I heard the rest of the band heading back, wanting to know why they were rudely woken up.

"She lives around here?" I said quietly before my tone turned angry, "How can you promise her anything? She left us with no explanation."

He just shrugged, "She's still my best friend."

I stayed quiet for a bit. "How is she doing?" I finally asked. He ran his hand through his hair, similar to the way I always do.

"Fine, it seems. She doesn't seem happy though, mate" He said grimly. I pulled my legs to myself.

"Why can't I see her? Why won't she see me?" I asked sadly.

"She said it was for your own good. I don't know what else you can really do about it" He said as I felt a hand on my arm.

I started to fade out, not paying attention anymore. I could hear him asking if I was alright, but I couldn't bring myself to answer. Eventually, everyone just left the room. Left me to my sadness.

My phone sat there, and I slowly went back to the picture. I wasn't surprised that she didn't answer me.

And then I saw water starting to pool on my phone. I ran my fingers over it. I hadn't even realized I was crying. I hadn't cried over her in so long, but knowing that she was alive, that she was here and didn't want anything to do with me just tore those wounds open again.

I held my phone and crawled up onto a couch in that back lounge and proceeded to cry myself back to sleep.

Something I hadn't done in two years.