Let Me Forget.

I could hardly figure out how to breathe as I just stared at him. He’s changed I thought to myself.

His eyes finally curved into that familiar confused face I knew all so well. Three years and I hadn’t forgotten.

“S-sorry. You look f-familiar” I told him, lamely. Well, he is famous, I’ll get away with it, “Like I was saying, I’m Madeline Lucas. You can take a seat, or lie down. Just start whenever you’d like.”

He nodded, giving me a brief smile. That alone was enough to make my stomach flip. He took the chair as I sat back down and pulled out the file with his name on it and paper. I already knew I wasn’t going to be able to just take notes on him, but I had to make it look like it.

“I usually do. I have a band that’s pretty popular” He told me, his accent just as strong as ever. I still had mine, but it had dulled over time, he probably didn’t even notice. Not like most people here.

“Oh really?” I said, “Tell me about it.”

He looked a little surprised that I asked, but answered nonetheless. “It’s called You Me At Six. I started it with some of my best mates. I’m the singer, and we’re touring right now.”

I nodded, “And how did you get to the point of looking for help?”

He shrugged first, “I’ve been depressed for a really long time, and I guess I finally pushed my band off the edge. They told me they were going to schedule an appointment with a shrink. I didn’t really believe them, but when they gave me the address and told me what time, and if I didn’t go they’d cancel the tour, I figured they weren’t just shitting me.”

I idly nodded. I was too busy just taking him in. I hadn’t seen him in three years, he was so much different.

“Alright, and why are you actually here? Why have you been depressed?” I silently begged that he had completely forgotten about me.

“Well, I haven’t been able to keep a girlfriend around. None of them are good enough. I’ve pissed off my family, and my band as well. I know why I feel this way, but there’s not much I can do to solve it” He told me, looking down. He looked sad.

I knew I was going to regret asking, but I had to. It was my job.

“Why do you feel that way?”

He glanced at me for a second before putting his head in his hands. “The girl I was in love with left me with no more than a letter that didn’t explain anything. Disappeared off the face of the planet. I haven’t heard from her since.” He told me. My breath got caught in my chest. I sat there without answering until he finally looked up, wondering why I hadn’t.

“U-um, t-tell me about her” I said shakily, instantly regretting it.

“She was gorgeous. Blonde hair and blue eyes, but she wasn’t like the typical blonde. She was better than that. She was always the life of the party, but could get shy in her own ways. She made me feel like I was on top of the world” He told me, a morbid look on his face. He made me miss my old self.

“And what did the letter say?” I asked quietly. I already knew, but I’d ask anyway.

“Just some bullshit about how she was sorry and that she couldn’t tell me why and about how she wished I’d forgive her someday” He spat. I could tell he was angry. And the worst part was, I couldn’t say anything.

I sat with him through the whole hour, listening to all his problems. Normally, is wasn’t so bad for me to deal with. But it was different when all of it was caused by me.

When the hour was up, it killed me to tell him. Because I knew he wouldn’t schedule another appointment and I wouldn’t see him again.

He got up out of his chair and went to head out before stopping and coming back over.

“My mates suggested I bring you these. They might explain how I’ve been feeling better than if I just told you” He explained, setting two cd cases on my desk. I nodded, not even touching them.

He left quietly. I wondered how fast he would try and get out.

I silently picked up the two cases and looked at them, the names “Hold Me Down” and “Sinners Never Sleep” across the front, along with the name of their band.

Then I realized he just gave me two cds free, and I just couldn’t let him do that. Cds cost a lot of money.

I grabbed my wallet and went out to stop him before I heard his voice again.

He was making another date to come back.

It surprised me, because I would have thought he’d be leaving out to go back on their tour again.

I stayed hidden behind my door, clutching the cds and my wallet to my chest. I’d just pay him for them some other day.

When I heard him finally leave and head out the door, I also saw Marie get up to go and do something.

Being risky, I hurried out and looked at her date book, which was still open. She was like me, she preferred paper over computer.

I saw that he had scheduled again for next week. I had to remember that day so I wouldn’t be completely caught off guard.

After I had packed up for the day and said bye to Marie, I headed to my car. Inside, I began to get curious. I pulled out Hold Me Down and took out the cd, putting it inside my car’s stereo.

As I drove home, I purposely took a longer route. I knew that when I got home, I wouldn’t have the incentive to listen to it.

The first two songs were pretty lively. They made me remember how much I loved Josh’s voice.

And how much I avoid listening to anything of theirs.

Nothing really caught my attention until the fourth song came on. I didn’t know what it was called, but tears immediately began pouring out of my eyes, ruining the make up I had hurried to put on that morning. From the first line to the last, I couldn’t stop my tears.

“You’ve got a lot to say for the one that walked away.”

When I pulled into my apartment complex, the cd was still playing. I just leaned over the wheel and continued crying.

When I was finally dried up, I reached over and picked up the cd.

It was made the year after I left.