Hold On Till May

"What?" Alex asked with hesitation, trying to lead Aurora back to the porch where Zack was sitting. At this point, Zack was still smiling at the two, but also picked up the girls iPod and listened to the Brand New album The Devil and God Are Raging Inside Me that she had been playing before the two arrived at the house. Aurora didn't want to go back under the porches cover, she wanted to stay in the rain so it would wash clean everything that had happened in the last thirty minutes. She wanted every pitiful, depressing feeling and awful thought in her head to vanish. Alex just wanted to make sure that she didn't get pneumonia because he just wanted to dance with her in the rain and sing.

"Stay the night with me, please," Aurora answered back after a long pause. In her mind, she was scolding herself for even saying she had something to tell him. She needed a way to reverse the moment and start over.

"That's what you needed to tell me?" Alex knit his brows and looked down at her like he was trying to creep inside her mind.

"Mhm," Aurora started shaking from the cold rain that was crashing down around them.

"C'mon, baby girl, let's go inside," Alex lifted Aurora up, bridal-style, and took her inside the house. Zack followed right behind the two, giving Aurora his hoodie the moment they got through the door.

"Zacky?" Aurora said with a little voice. She was scrunched up in a ball on the big, white leather couch in the living-room, pulling three blankets on top of her. Alex was in the kitchen making hot chocolate for all three of them.

"What's up?" He sat down next to her and leaned his head against her shoulder.

"Thank you for being understanding," Aurora's voice was completely genuine, she didn't think that Zack out of all people would react the way he did. The boy had a huge heart and it was shocking that he didn't let his anger get in the way of what he was truly feeling. "I'm sorry I put you guys through this." She pulled an arm out of her cocoon of blankets and half hugged her friend.

"It's fine.. well, it's not, but you know what I mean. But girly, I think the other two need to know about this." Aurora started tracing circles in the blanket's material. She was the only one who didn't want to think about telling the other two about her situation. No one should have found out, but they did in their own ways because she wasn't careful enough when she should had been.

"I know they do, but let me do it," she begged in the slightest way.

"I'll do it and promise to keep them away from you, how about that?" Zack tossed a smile in her direction, trying to make it sound like it wasn't as big of a deal as it really was.

"I don't want them to be sad," her voice was little, like she was a little kid who was caught doing something horrible. She threw her head against the back of the couch and stared at the ceiling while she played out their reactions through her mind.

"They will be regardless, but it's not like they'll hate you or beat you."

"I don't care what they do, I'll deserve it if they do hate me."

"Don't start talking like that, S-Beauty," Zack sat up from leaning on the petite girl and scolded her in such way. He looked down at her with the most furiously gentle look on his face.

"It's true, Zack, and you know it," Aurora was almost shouting at him, like she knew everything in the world. Somehow in the few short minutes she had convinced herself that their reactions would be terrible and they'd leave her alone for life. She started thinking that none of the boys wanted anything to do with her and are only staying around as if she was some sort of charity case.

"If Alex and I can still love you after this, they should too," he grabbed her body, pulling her close and kissing the top of her head.

"Jack and Rian aren't as understanding, ya'know?" Alex had walked into the living-room and handed the two their hot chocolate and took a seat on the other side of Aurora.

"Rian's more adult than any of us, so he'll suck it up and help you. Jack, though... Jack's a child and it will hurt him more than anything, but he won't hate you." The three of them didn't talk until Zack left, instead they ended up watching TV instead. That was the end of the conversation, but it wasn't the end of Aurora thinking that the guitarist and the drummer would hate her for a lifetime.

+

Aurora stepped into her room after showering, revealing a partially naked Alex from the waist down, stealing a pair of boxers and basketball shorts from her dresser. "Oh, shit," Aurora turned around to face the wall and started laughing. "Sorry about that, dear," Alex laughed nervously, his face turning a beet red.

"Whatever, I'm decent now!" He shouted and bounced on to the bed. "Why do you have so many clothes of mine? Are you stalking me?"

"No, you're just annoying and come and go as you please, leaving your dirty clothes here. Thus, leaving me with an extra stock of Alexander William Gaskarth clothes for when he returns... or whenever I feel like wearing them." Alex rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to say something, but the words wouldn't come out. "What? They look good on me."

"That I can agree with, but it can't get sexier than me wearing them." Alex lifted a hand and motioned up and down his body, showing himself off in the littlest way.

"You're a cocky little prick," she finally laid down on the bed next to him, pulling the sheets back and slipping under them.

"And you're a bitch with no point," Alex crossed his arms and acted offended, but he could barely contain his laughter.

"Wow, thank you." Aurora sounded offended, flipped over to bury her face into her pillow so Alex couldn't tell that she was smiling and trying not to laugh at his comment.

"I'm kidding," he was stunned, he thought he actually had hurt her feelings from joking around.

"I wasn't," she flipped back over and started pointing and laughing at him. He felt embarrassed that he actually fell for her dumb joke.

"Thanks, baby, means a lot."

"Movie?" Aurora asked in a perky voice.

"Yeah yeah, but I get to pick," Alex crawled off the bed in a fast motion which ended up with him falling off and landing face first on the ground. Aurora bursted out laughing, but Alex continued on his journey to search the house for the perfect movie. "Found it!" Alex walked out of the bedroom closet and held up a purple and teal tie-dye DVD case which read Dazed & Confused in smokey, yellow letters. He looked triumphant, like he had just won a gold medal for doing a somewhat easy task.

"That took forever," Aurora muttered and set down her phone in order to pick find the remote that was lost in her bed.

"Your room's a mess," Alex complained while putting the DVD in the player.

"No worse than yours, sir."

"Very true, madam," he smiled and collapsed onto the empty space on the bed, right behind Aurora.

+

"Hey," Alex said after the movie ended, "you sleeping?" Aurora shook her head and turned around to face him. "Good, because earlier, in the yard," Alex paused and started to scratch his head nervously, not wanting to have this conversation, "I know you were lying."

"You sure about that, Gaskarth?"

"Positive, I know when you lie, Princess." Alex propped himself up on one arm and looked down at her with his big, brown eyes that were semi-intimidating, but also comforting at the same time.

"How?"

"Your nose twitches and you blink repeatedly, as if your body is somehow rejecting the lie." He laughed, recalling each lie that Aurora has told throughout the years - big or small. The facial gestures she made when she lied were what Alex found the cutest of them all.

"Oh.." Aurora looked down at her hands and started to fold them together.

"Be honest with me," Alex's voice was stern and didn't start talking again until she looked back up at him. "What did you really have to tell me?"

"I'm not okay, Alex," The girl threw her hands up in the air as if it was no big deal.

"I know that already."

"No, I mean I'm just not okay - I feel so fucked up in the head. And I just don't want to do this anymore."

"You're not going anywhere, if that's what you mean."

"It's not, Al. It's not. Did you know that mom's getting violent with me now? Did you know that she threw plates at me the other night? Did you know that she doesn't want me here? She told me I was a mistake! I was a mistake and she wishes I were dead instead of dad. Al, I just can't do this anymore." Aurora's voice was shouting towards the ceiling, her breathing had sped up as if she had just ran ten miles, and her face was blank and emotionless. It was the most hurtful thing that she had to deal with, but when she spoke the words, it was like she had no care in the world - they just spewed of her mouth.

"She did what?" Alex could barely speak, he was in such shock. All of what his friend had just said wasn't processing correctly right away. It was too much to take in and too many questions and statements were running through his head, but none of them were connecting to his mouth the way they should have.

"You heard me." Alex, just shut up and drop the fucking subject, she thought to herself, wanting to drop the conversation. If anything, she was only bitter now.

"Oh, my God, she has no right to say that shit. I don't give a damn how depressed she is. Does she know what you're doing to yourself?" The teenager acted as if he was about to run out of the room and go strangle Aurora's mother. Well, yell at her, at least.

"Not like she'd give a rats ass."

"I'm so sorry," he laid his head against her chest, trying to hug her the best that he could at that very second. "I love you so much and I'm going to do everything I can to keep you from her."

"We both know that's going to be impossible." She sighed, but didn't hug him back. She wasn't feeling sorry for herself, but she was defiantly trying to make it seem like she care about the situation in general.

"No, it won't. Either I'll be here every night or you'll be at my house or Zack's house or Jack's house or Rian's house. Fuck, I don't care whose house, but you'll be with one of us." He lifted himself back up and brushed a stray piece of red hair off of Aurora's face.

"Alex-"

"No, that's not fucking right, Aurora!" He cut her off and screamed trying to get her to listen.

"I know it isn't, but maybe she's right." Her voice was almost a whisper. Her small, porcelain-like hands covered her face. Alex laughed and sat against the headboard, staring across the room at posters that filled up the bedroom walls. A smile plastered his face, but it wasn't because he was happy, it was because he was pissed off and found the perfect words to express what the girl needed to hear.

"Aurora Amber Manning, you're stupid! That's all you are! You're stupid because you were no mistake - not to me, at least." He looked down at her and yanked her arms away from her face so he could hold her hand. "If she wants to say that shit, then do you really think she should even be a mother? She loves you whether she shows it or not, she's just in a bad place. That's not excuse for her to say that, but where the hell would I be without you? You are not a mistake. Never have been, never will be. If you were dead, I wouldn't know what to do with myself - hell, none of us would. I'm so lucky to have you in my life and you cannot convince me otherwise, lady, so stop thinking what you are. Stop being your own worst enemy because that seems to be all that you're doing. I love you, okay? More than anybody in the entire world. You mean everything to me, does that count for anything?" From a thunderous scream to a gentle, meaningful voice, Alex had gotten his point across. Though Aurora started crying halfway through because she didn't know he'd say such things and it meant the world to her that he did.

"Thank you," she got up into sitting position and pulled the boy close to her, holding onto him for dear life. "I love you too." They were both in love with each other, but neither seemed to have the power to admit it. When they said it, they meant it in such way, but the other didn't think of it in the way it was truly meant.

"Good, we'll figure this all out, alright?" He kissed her cheek and kept holding her up, waiting for her tears to stop flowing.

"You're amazing, did you know that?" She finally let go and started whipping her face off with her sleeve.

"That's what they all say," Alex chuckled and winked.

"No, they all say you're annoying," her statement was correct, but it didn't bother Alex at all.

"Potato, patato," he shrugged and got under the covers with the girl.

"And you're also weird."

"Just go to bed, Princess. I promise I'll be here when you wake up," he kissed her forehead and he scooted downward, positioning himself so an arm was behind Aurora's head.

"You better be."

"When have I ever left you?" He asked at her as she closed her eyes. After a long silence, she eventually had a large smile etched on her face.

"Exactly, now goodnight, Sleeping Beauty."

"Goodnight, Prince Phillip."

"I hate that name," he mumbled under his breath.

"I don't give a damn," she sung.

"Sleep," he demanded.

"Kay," she rolled her eyes and drifted off to sleep in the boys arms. She never felt more safe or comforted in her life. Honestly, Alex felt the best when his friend was right next to him also. Alex's life had been tough thus far, making him not sleep for reasons of his own, but every time Aurora was laying in his arms or even right next to him, he'd be able to fall asleep easily and stay asleep all night with no problems.