I Wish

“Why the HELL didn’t you say yes?!” Adelaide was furious. She paced the tiny living room of our little shared flat, deep brown eyes glaring at my seated form before darting away as if she couldn’t even look at me right now. She suddenly halted her frantic movement and turned to face me, hands crossed firmly over her chest.

“Why?! I thought that’s what you wanted! Niall fucking Horan asked you out! Why the hell did you say NO!”

Yeah, she was pretty upset.

“Ade, he lives in London! He’s here for three months! It would never end well for me, you know that, because in a few weeks, I’ll be here and he’ll be in England, Adelaide. I can’t get attached to him. It’ll never work.” I frowned, oddly saddened by my words. I’d had a crush on my friend since the day I’d met him. There was just something about him. Maybe it was the way he was so awkward and tongue-tied the first few times we’d met. Kieron had been quick to tease him about going to a catholic all boys’ school and not knowing what to do around girls. Maybe it was his innocent and adorable nature, the way he’d get so excited over the little things, the way his eyes would light up. He was just breath-taking.

“Fionnabhair! I know better than anyone else how much you’re tearing yourself up about this! Just admit that you like him and try it out! Maybe you’ll realize you really can’t stand him or maybe you’ll fall in love and get married and have hundreds of little Niall Juniors and Fionnabhair Juniorettes!” She plopped down on the couch next to me, groaning.

“It’s not going to happen, Ade”

“You know I’m not going to quit, right?”

“Just drop it!”

“No! One date! One little date, Finna!”

I glared at her angrily, but I knew she was serious. Well, I was too.

“I am not going on a date with Niall Horan.”



“No, Niall, seriously! Please stop!” I gasped out through uncontrollable laughter, holding my stomach, doubled over outside of my flat’s complex. He grinned happily down at me.

“Fine, but just because you asked nicely” He chuckled, helping me straighten up and then keeping his arm around my shoulders as we continued walking to my flat. I leaned into him subconsciously, still lightly chuckling at whatever funny, but mostly forgotten, thing he’d said earlier. I just enjoyed the way his thumb traced circles on my shoulder blade. I loved the way our bodies were pressed together comfortably as we strolled through the chilly Ireland air, our breath making clouds of steam swirl around our heads.

It seemed all too soon that we arrived at the bright red door that signaled the end of our night together. We both hesitated outside of it. It was the end of our third date and I had one thing on my mind right now, but I wasn’t sure if Ni-

And then Niall James Horan’s lips were on mine.



“Hey, Niall” I grinned at the blonde boy as I gently pushed through the crowded pub. His face lit up upon seeing me and he quickly hopped off of his seat to give me a quick, innocent kiss that we were both grinning into.

We sat down in a booth and soon we each had a pint in front of us. I didn’t think much of it when Niall suggested we get a round of shots… And another round… and then another after that.

It wasn’t long before my vision was messed up and my speech was slurring. I’d always been something of a light-weight. I’d gotten it, according to my father, from my American mother’s side. I usually didn’t drink much anyway, but I was now, I guess.

We both lost all sense of reason and so we kept the drinks coming… and coming… and coming…



How did we get outside of my flat? I giggled at the thought even though a part of me knew it really wasn’t that funny at all. Niall’s hands were on my hips and he was lightly kissing up and down my neck from behind as I struggled with my keys. I knew Adelaide was working tonight so she wouldn’t be home, though I doubted that in this state I would have cared.

There was a piece of me that, as the door slid open and I slipped away from Niall and inside, knew that I couldn’t let Niall in. I couldn’t because… well… there was a reason I know, it just is escaping me now, but I knew I couldn’t let him in.

So, I gently reached out to push on his chest to signal him to go, but instead my fingers curled around the thick fabric of his jacket and pulled him inside the dark flat.

The door swung shut behind him and fumbling fingers locked it.