Kissing Fire.

The next few days were worse than I’d anticipated. It seemed like anywhere and everywhere I went, I was getting nasty looks from teenage girls. Part of me regretted going to see Nick that night, as those pictures only fueled the hate filled fire that was brewing within the Directioners. The scariest thing, though, was that it wasn’t even just the Directioners anymore. That’s right, our breakup was in the magazines.

I’d been walking home from work one afternoon, and I’d been idly glancing at one of those magazine stands on the street, when in the corner of one brightly colored tabloid I’d spotted my own face. I’m sure you can imagine the shockwave that rolled through my body. My heart was hammering in my chest as I reached for the magazine and I could feel my stomach plummet at the small words that were written near my picture.

Harry’s girl unfaithful? Details inside!

Sweet Jesus.

“Excuse me, how much is this?” I held the magazine up for the man running the stand to see and he glanced a few times between the magazine and myself before answering.

“You’re on the cover. It’s free.”

So I quickly thanked him and just about ran home, terrified of what this magazine was saying about me. As soon as I was through the door, Marina noticed how frazzled I looked.

“Em, babe, what’s wrong? Is everything-?” But my door was promptly slammed in her face and I was soon dropping onto my bed and ripping open the magazine. I flipped through endless pages before I found the small column titled “Harry Styles Deceived”.

A few weeks ago British boybander, Harry Styles, openly told the world about his new relationship with New York girl, Emerson Kingsley. Inside sources gave us the sweet story of how they met and got together. Everything was smooth sailing, and she was even seen arriving in London to meet up with cutie, Harry.

There were two pictures of Harry and I at the airport, one of us hugging, and the second of us heading toward the doors wrapped around each other. My heart started racing again as I continued reading though.

However, sources tell us that she was supposed to be staying with Harry in London for a week. Surprisingly, she was seen arriving at Philadelphia International Airport two days before her original return date. No one knew why she was in Philadelphia until pictures surfaced of Kingsley cozying up with a mystery boy at a bar. What about poor Styles? No one knows if the two have officially called it quits, making Ms. Kingsley look awfully suspicious. No matter, Harry doesn’t need someone like her anyway.


The same pictures of Nick and I that had been haunting me once again stared me right in the face. I couldn’t believe this. People were actually believing that I’d cheated on Harry. Never, in a million years, would I even dream of cheating on someone, especially Harry.

“Son of a bitch!” The words left my mouth in a loud shout without me even realizing it. And soon Marina was in my room and kneeling in front of me.

“What happened? What’s going?” she asked frantically, prompting me to roughly shove the magazine into her hands.

“Can you believe this bullshit? They don’t know anything!”

“I mean, it does look a little suspicious, Em.” Marina bit at her lip nervously as she stared up at me, and I felt my jaw go slack.

“Seriously, Marina? Seriously.” I couldn’t believe her. She was my best friend, for fuck’s sake! She was supposed to be the one backing me up. And here she was fucking agreeing with the tabloids?

“Em, I’m sorry, it’s just-”

“Can you just leave me alone right now? I’d rather talk to someone who’s on my side,” I huffed as I pulled my phone from my bag. Marina stared hard at me for a few long moments before sighing and pulling herself up from the ground.

“We’ll talk later,” she muttered as she exited the room, but I hardly heard her as I scrolled through my contacts for the one person who would calm me down right now. I waited as it rang four times and I was sort of terrified that they wouldn’t pick up, but at the last second their voice rang through.

“‘lo?”

“Ugh, Zayn, what is happening?” I practically moaned into the phone as I threw my body back onto my bed.

“Hey, love. What’s going on?” My darling Bradford boy asked down the line.

“Everyone hates me.”

“Everyone does not hate you-”

“Yes they do! Fuck, I found a magazine today with this story on how I’m cheating on Harry with Nick and- fuck! We’re not together anymore! Like, he has to know that, right? I left the bracelet. Does he think I was unfaithful?” My stomach was in knots as Zayn took a few moments to collect his thoughts.

“He...he doesn’t really know what to believe right now. I mean, he’s considered it, but…” My eyes welled up immediately at Zayn’s words and I wanted to scream. I wanted to throw something or punch someone or just do something.

“Oh god, Zayn. What have I done?” I let out in a strangled manner, my throat tight.

“Hey, Em, it’s-”

“Em. You’re talking to Emerson? Give me the phone.” The raspy voice came from the background and my eyes jolted open in alarm at the sound of his voice. I hadn’t heard it since our fight. I’d refused to listen to any of the messages he’d left me or listen to their music or watch any interviews. I heard Zayn try to protest but soon his voice was coming over the speaker, much louder this time. “Emerson?” Hot tears slipped from my eyes as I cupped a hand over my mouth to keep from letting out a sob. “Em, please. I know you’re there. Please just talk to me.” His voice sounded so weak and I think that’s what hurt the most. I wanted to be mad at him for pushing me away like he did. This was supposed to be his fault. He was supposed to be the bad guy. So why was he hurting?

“I- I can’t. I can’t.” At that point a sob did escape my lips and my chest was shuddering and my lips and hands were shaking and I wanted to drop dead.

“You owe it to me, Emerson.” Harry’s voice had hardened and for some reason that immediately ceased my shaking.

“I owe it to you? If anyone should be upset here, it’s me,” I muttered darkly as I sat up and ran a hand through my hair.

“You fucking disappeared!”

“How’s it feel to wake up alone?” I snarled, a fire brewing in my stomach.

“Oh, come off it. At least I wasn’t out with other women.” His voice was laced with venom and I was just about ready to slap him with every horrible name in the book, but he cut over me. “How- how could you do that? Who the fuck is this kid? What, you just bolt from me and now you’re in the arms of another guy? I took you for so much more than that, Emerson.”

“You don’t even know what you’re talking about, Harry. Okay? Nick and I have known each other since we were little and- you know what? No. I don’t need to explain myself to you. Think whatever the fuck you want, Harry. You’re going to no matter what I say. And you know why? Because you’re a stubborn little child.”

As soon as the words left my mouth, I’d ended the call and thrown my phone away from me. What had I just done? Of all the things I could have called him, ‘child’ is what my brain thinks of first? Fucking hell. Great. Just fantastic. I was a horrible person.

--

In what seemed like no time at all, it was Christmas. The weeks had flown by, most of my time spent at work, with Marina, or talking nonstop with Nick. It was like we’d never drifted. We’d literally picked right back up where we’d left off, and I couldn’t have been happier.

Granted, I was still getting constant hate and slander spread about, but sadly I was getting kind of used to it. People were going to think what they wanted to think, and there was nothing I could do about that.
Louis’ birthday was on the 24th, so we’d had an hour long Skype session to make up for the fact that we couldn’t actually see each other. It was slightly awkward, as he was Harry’s best friend, but I think a good part of him didn’t believe that I was in the wrong. We’d discussed it all a few times, and while he said he thought I should have at least talked to Harry before dashing, I knew he didn’t hate me.

Marina was refusing to give me any gifts, as my birthday was on the 27th and just two short days away. As much as I hated having my birthday so close to Christmas, I kind of loved it. Christmas was always my favorite holiday. And not even because of the presents. No, I just loved the feeling in the air. Christmas was always a big to do in my house when I was growing up, therefore I’d become quite fond of it. Classic Christmas music was always playing and we’d gotten a big tree every year and my mother was always baking lots of goodies to give to friends and the like. Everyone was just always happy.

Nick decided to come to New York on the 26th and spend a few days there to celebrate my birthday with me and Marina. Naturally, I was enthralled by the idea. Nick was the big brother that I’d never had. And although Marina was constantly claiming he still had a thing for me, I’d pushed it to the back of my mind. Marina was a confusing character. One day she was saying I should work things out with Harry, the next she was all about Nick. Make up your mind, woman!

So when Nick arrived, we traipsed through New York City, doing all the dumb, touristy things. We even ended our day with ice skating at Rockefeller Center. But hey, it was lovely. Half surprisingly, Marina had been giving Nick a rather cold shoulder since his arrival and I’d tried to talk to her about it briefly, but she just said that it was messing with my birthday plans. Plans, of course, that she’d yet to divulge. But that was no surprise. Marina was always making it seem like a huge party was in order for my birthday every year, and every year it was normally the two of us getting an expensive dinner. But if she wanted to play up the dramatics as per usual, who was I to stop her?

--

I was woken up around noon on my birthday by Marina, who was jumping all over my bed and screaming about how it was my birthday. I’d heard Nick chuckling from the doorway, but he knew not to interfere with Marina’s ritual.

“C’mon, darling! I’m taking you to lunch! It’s gonna be really spectacular and I promise, you won’t want to miss it. Now, up! Go get showered and dressed so we can head out! Be ready by one, my love!” And with that, Marina literally bounced out of the room, pulling Nick along with her. I couldn’t help but laugh as I dragged myself from bed. How Marina was always so chipper upon waking up, I’d never understand. The girl was crazy, but that’s why I loved her so. I quickly took a shower, figured out something warm to wear, and threw on some quick makeup before joining Marina and Nick in the living room.

“Ready?” Nick asked with a small smile as he hopped up from couch. I saw Marina give him a small sort of glare, but I brushed it off.

“Yep! And absolutely starving!” I chirped before Marina ushered us out of the apartment.

We ended up going to that same upscale burger joint from the night I’d first met the boys. And it was oh so obvious why Marina had picked this location. But she kept quiet and held back her giggles as Nick practically gushed over the place, saying how he’d always wanted to go. I shot Marina a sneaky glare, but she just smiled innocently back at me. Damn her. We somehow managed to spend an agonizing two hours in there and I was ready to go home and die. Marina made zero effort in being civil with Nick, which took both Nick and myself by surprise. As far as he was concerned, he’d done nothing wrong. Marina had never had a problem with him before. So finally I couldn’t take it anymore and asked if we could go home, saying I wasn’t feeling well.

“Yeah, of course, babe. Are you alright? What’s wrong?” Marina asked, her eyebrows crinkled together.

“My stomach’s just a little iffy. I’ll be fine though!” I gave her a bright smile, which she soon returned before the check was placed on the table and she quickly snatched it up.

“I hope you don’t feel too horrid. Your birthday present’s waiting for you at home, and I need you in tip top condition to receive it!” She placed her card into the holder and handed the check off to our waitress before folding her hands on the table and looking over at me. Shit. Marina’s presents were always perfect and amazing. There was no way she’d give it to me if I was all gloomy.

“No, I’ll be fine! Plus, presents always make everything better anyway!” She rolled her eyes with a smirk and a small shake of her head before the check was placed in front of her again for her signature.

“Fine, I suppose you can have it when you get home.” And with that, the three of us left the restaurant and headed for the apartment.

“What is it? Tell me, tell me, tell me!” I whined, latched onto her arm as we walked down the hall to our door.

“I’m not going to tell you! That’ll ruin the surprise. Though I will say, it’s more than one thing.” My eyes widened slightly at her words.

“Marina, you didn’t have to get me multiple things! Stop, I hate you!”

“Well, fine, you can have none!”

“No, I was kidding! You’re perfect and I love you!” The two of us were in giggles, Nick following silently behind, as we reached the door and Marina unlocked it.

“Babe, I’ve really gotta pee, but be a doll and go put the kettle on?”

“Yeah, of course!” I called as I all but bounded to the kitchen. I pulled my phone from my bag, checking to see if I had any birthday texts from anyone, but frowned slightly as I found the screen blank. Flicking on the light switch, I stood in the doorway, head tucked down as I scrolled through my phone. I’d gotten quite a few nice birthday messages on Tumblr and Twitter, which was rather surprising, so I started to reply to a few of them. Marina’s tea could wait.

“Ya reckon she knows we’re here?”

A scream escaped my lips and my phone almost clattered to the floor as I whipped my head up at the sound. Across the kitchen, a loud belly laugh sounded and I nearly died.

“What the fuck is this?” I nearly cried through laughter as a body rushed toward me and spun me around.

“Emersoon!” Good ol’ Louis Tomlinson cried as he held onto me. Laughs were bubbling from my lips as he set me down, but I continued to hold onto him.

“What are you doing here?” I asked, pulling back to look up at his bright blue eyes.

“Well it is your birthday, is it not?” With a laugh, he let me go and the Irish boy who’d originally spoken pulled me into a tight hug.

“Niall, I’ve missed you so! And you’ve been stealing my best friend!”

“Well hello to you, too! I can’t help it that your best friend is perfect and I’m smitten!” He laughed again before passing me to Liam, who gave me a strong hug and showered me with ‘Happy Birthday’s. Next Danielle and Eleanor practically attacked me, and we were all squealing and being obnoxious and finally they let me go and I was left staring at the boy who started all of this.

“Get the fuck over here, Zayn,” I muttered, pulling him in to place a sloppy kiss on his forehead and slamming his body into a hug. He laughed as he lifted me off the ground, holding me tightly and saying how much he’d missed me. After a very, very long hug, he placed me back on the ground and unwound his arms from my waist.

“Surprise,” Marina called from the doorway, causing me to spin and practically dash at her. My arms grabbed her into the biggest hug they could muster and I showered her face with kisses.

“You perfect human being, I love you! I can’t believe you did this! Marina, thank you so much, I- I don’t even know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything, Em. Happy birthday,” she murmured as she held me tight, a smile in her voice. We pulled apart and I was left to just stare at everyone. I couldn’t believe they’d spent the money to fly over just for my birthday. My mind was racing and I couldn’t get the grin off my face, and it seemed no one else could either. And then,

“Hi, I’m Nick.”

And the smiles dropped and air in the kitchen immediately tensed. And it was only then that I noticed that Harry was nowhere to be found.