Kissing Fire.

I mean, I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised that Harry hadn’t joined his friends in their trip across the Atlantic. For Christ’s sake, the last time I’d spoken to him I called him a child, which in Harry’s case was the equivalent of stabbing him in the back. I wouldn’t want to see or talk to me either. The weird thing though was that I still had a working phone. It had been a few weeks since our fight and even longer since I’d run away from London, yet he was still paying my phone bill. I’d even had Marina text him about it one afternoon just to see what he’d say.

”What did you say to him?” I asked hurriedly as I scurried over to Marina’s body, which was sprawled out on the couch in the living room.

“I said, ‘You’re still paying Emerson’s bill, dot dot dot’.”

“And he said?” My eyebrows were high on my head and I couldn’t stop biting at my thumbnail.

“No answer yet, babe. I’ll keep you updated.” So with that, I practically ran to the kitchen to make some tea. It was a stupid idea to keep myself busy, but it worked. By the time I was placing myself back on the couch, Marina was letting out a gasp as her phone buzzed. “What’s it say?” I asked frantically as I strained to see the screen.

“He said, ‘I know.’ What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” she practically spat before rolling her eyes and tossing her phone away from her. “He is literally the strangest person I’ve ever met.”

So while the whole phone thing was strange, I suppose it showed that he still cared. Okay, obviously I knew he still cared. The countless phone calls and texts and how he sounded before we had that argument practically highlighted the fact that he cared. It was my fault, really, that nothing had been resolved. But I was stubborn and scared and selfish. And now, I could add stupid to that list. What if I’d lost him? Even if he was just a friend, I knew a piece of me still wanted him in my life. Yet there I was ignoring him and everything about him.

But it wasn’t very easy to ignore him when I had his best friends standing in my kitchen, practically glowering at Nick.

“Hey, mate,” Louis greeted in a clipped voice, his lips forming a tight, straight line. Nick offered him a friendly smile in return, hoping to break the ice, but Louis’ face remained void of emotion.

“You’re Louis, right? I’ve heard so much about-”

“Yeah, Louis: Harry’s best mate.” Perhaps I spoke too soon. There was definitely a glare set onto Louis’ face at that point. He took a deep breath and made like he was going to speak again, but Liam quickly leapt into action.

“Who wants cake? Everybody? Good!” he cried as he raced over to the fridge and pulled a large cake out. It was one of those silly custom made ones where you could have a picture put onto the icing. The large picture that covered the entire top of the cake was taken just a few days before the boys left for Australia. The boys were all making silly faces, save for Louis, who was too busy pressing his lips to Eleanor’s cheek. We were all smushed together, and I remembered almost falling just as the picture was about to be taken from all the jostling the boys were doing. Harry’s arm had quickly wrapped around my waist, causing a huge and perfectly genuine smile to reach my lips. My eyes stung a little as I glanced over the picture. Everyone looked so completely and utterly happy, especially Harry.

“Oh, that’s so cool!” Nick called as he tried to peek through the group at the cake.

“Thanks, it was my idea.” Zayn’s voice was cold and hard, causing me to frown slightly. I got that they were obviously on Harry’s side, but there shouldn’t have even been sides. There was nothing going on with me and Nick! Sure, I knew how the pictures looked and how they could be perceived, but I had even told Zayn point blank that we were strictly friends. Guess that went a long way…

I let out a deep sigh as I tried to calm myself while Liam placed twenty candles into the top of the cake. While he did that and the other boys started looking for plates and cups and forks, I moved over to the counter, sidling in between Danielle and Eleanor.

“I can’t believe you guys are here,” I murmured, bumping my hip into Dani’s.

“Of course we are! What kind of friends would be if we didn’t celebrate the end of your teens?” she giggled, bumping me back.

“How is he?” I asked suddenly, my face falling slightly.

“He’s uhm...managing. He seems pretty alright-”

“Oh, bollocks, Dani. We both know he’s miserable,” El cut over her as she crossed her thin arms over her chest.

“Yes, thank you, I was just trying to not make her feel horrible.”

“No, it’s fine. I- I wanted the truth. Thanks.” Another sigh left my lips as my eyes moved to the floor and Danielle wrapped her arm around my waist.

“Hey, no sad faces today. It’s your birthday!” she cheered, causing a smile to flit to my lips. Everyone did seem genuinely happy. Louis, Liam, and Zayn were all joking about as they finished setting up, and Niall was wrapped around Marina, his face always close to hers. The only person who was left out was Nick, who was standing by the doorway to the kitchen, an unreadable expression on his face. His eyes reached mine for a split second and I offered him an apologetic smile, which he returned halfheartedly.

“Okay, okay! Happy Birthday to you,” Liam crooned out, the other boys joining in for harmony, and I couldn’t help but laugh at the theatrics. Though I guess that’s what you get when you’ve got singers for best friends? After a beautiful, but a tad long, rendition of “Happy Birthday”, I took a deep breath before blowing out the candles, only one wish on my mind. That things would work out. Everyone cheered stupidly before Danielle and Liam offered to cut and serve the cake and soon everyone was digging in.

Nick had come over to talk to me while everyone was munching on their cake, and I felt sort of bad. Everyone seemed to detest him, and they hadn’t even given him a fair chance. I tried to reassure him that everything would be fine, and after about fifteen minutes of me begging, he decided to stay. It sort of pissed me off how they could be so inconsiderate toward him. Yes, I knew they were just looking out for Harry, but c’mon! They could have at least talked to him before deciding he was evil. But neither of us had much time to dwell on their dislike for my old friend as Danielle had called out that it was time for presents.

“Presents? Guys, seriously, you flew over here. I think that’s a good enough present!” I mean yes, it was my birthday, but flights from the England to the US were not cheap and we all knew that.

“Oh, hush! Think of it as your birthday slash Christmas presents! Now c’mon!” El grabbed my arm and practically dragged me into the living room where I was squished on the couch between Nick and Zayn. And boy, could you feel the awkward. Dani and Marina quickly made their way to Marina’s room to grab all the presents and I was slightly astounded at the array of boxes they brought out. Seriously, I couldn’t believe that they were spending this money on a girl they’d only known for a few months. Granted, I did feel extremely close with all the boys and Danielle and Eleanor. But it still came as a shock.

“Okay, ours first!” Dani called as she handed over three boxes, each wrapped in brightly colored paper. There was a small card on top from both Dani and Liam and I gave each of them a smile before moving to the three boxes. There were two smaller ones on top, so I started with them. One of which held a gorgeous leather and gold bracelet that very clearly had Danielle’s name stamped all over it. I sent her a quick smile and ‘thank you’ before moving to the next smaller one, which was a pair of gorgeous gold Chanel earrings.

“Oh my god, these are perfect! You guys, seriously, thank you so much!” I gushed as I admired them for a few moments.

“You’re welcome, babe! Now open the last one! It’s my favorite!” There was a giddy smile on the curly haired girl’s face as I tore into the wrapping paper of the third and largest box. Inside I found a pair of Jeffrey Campbell shoes I’d been ogling since practically the day I’d met Dani and El.

“You did not.” I let out a small squeal as I held the black shoes with the rainbow studs on the heel up, admiring their beauty.

“But of course I did! I couldn’t not get them for you! You’ve been drooling over them for forever. Happy Birthday, love!” I quickly leapt up and engulfed the couple in huge hugs, thanking them countless times for the gorgeous gifts.

Louis insisted on going next, so he handed me another three boxes from himself and Eleanor. Two of the boxes held clothes from Topshop, those little bastards. Of course they just had to feed my obsession. The third box had two small rings from Topshop.

“El picked most of it out, but I picked the jumper!” Louis cried, a bright smile on his face.

“Awh, well thank you, darling! It’s quite the sweatshirt. I’ll be sure to wear it all the time,” I chirped with a cheeky grin before hugging the both of them. Marina then handed over a box from her and Niall and I nearly screamed when I opened it. “Valentino? Marina! How much did this cost you guys?” I held up the purse in awe, not quite believing that they’d paid such money for me. I knew Marina did not have this kind of money, so obviously Niall had helped, but still! The fact that he was willing to pay this money was incredible. But the happy couple just smiled on and said that they loved me and wanted me to have a fantastic birthday present. Unbelievable.

“Okay, my turn!” Zayn cried as he handed over two small boxes. Upon opening the first one, I was met with a black and gold Tiffany and Co. necklace I’d fawned over when the group of us made the trip there back in September.

“Awh, Zayn, you remembered!” My fingers trailed over the delicate necklace as a giddy grin stuck itself to my face.

“Of course I did! What kind of best friend would I be if I didn’t? Now, the second one’s kind of silly, but I thought you’d appreciate it.” I let out a small laugh as I opened the second box and found a pretty turquoise lighter. “I figured if we’re going to be getting cancer together, we might as well be fashionable?” He offered with a silly grin. A loud laugh escaped my lips as I practically lunged at him and hugged him tightly from our seats on the couch.

“Wait, when did you start smoking? That’s so unhealthy, Emmy.” Nick’s voice cut through the room like a knife and suddenly the smiles faded from everyone’s faces.

“Uhm, a bit ago. It’s not- it’s not a huge deal,” I muttered as I slowly pulled my arms away from Zayn and turned to face the brunette boy I’d grown up with.

“Well it’s not exactly a small thing either. I thought you said you’d never start smoking-?”

“Alright, leave her be. It’s her birthday, she doesn’t need your whinging,” Zayn snarled from my right. I let out a small sigh before patting both of their knees to calm them down.

“Okay! So, there is one more thing,” Danielle called over the impending brawl. My eyes quickly rose to meet hers in question.

“More? Dani, you can’t be serious. You guys have given more than I could need. Seriously-”

“It’s just a little something that we all pitched in for. Nothing expensive, I promise!” I let out a sigh as I watched El pull a DVD from her bag and quickly shuffle over to the TV. What on earth could this be? Oh, Jesus. Finally the DVD player was booted up and El was returning to her seat. “Live While We’re Young” started pulsing through the speakers and I immediately started laughing.

“Way you plug your own music, eh?” I asked with a chuckle as I bumped Zayn’s shoulder. He simply replied with a wink and nodded his head toward the television, bringing my attention back to the video. Pictures from our time in New York together started filling the screen and a huge smile immediately came to my face. I’d almost forgotten how many pictures we’d all taken over those few weeks. It seemed we had documented almost everything, from our trip to the zoo, to random shopping, to pictures from the many times we’d gone to fuck around in Times Square, and us just lounging around the hotel suite. I won’t lie, I got a little misty at all the pictures of Harry and I being dumb and cute together, and it still stung that he wasn’t there. After about five minutes, the slideshow came to an end and I started to turn to everyone to thank them, but I was caught by Danielle’s voice coming from the speakers.

“Hey, babe! It’s your birthday!” she called in a singsong voice from what I could only guess was her bedroom. “So, if you’re watching this, I’m most likely sitting in your apartment and we’re all celebrating. But I just wanted to tell you that even though we’ve only known each other this small bit, you’re easily one of my best friends and I love you! Okay, I’m not going to drag this out. I hope your birthday is a fantastic one, love. You deserve it!” She smiled and blew a kiss to the screen and then Liam’s face popped up.

“Holy macaroni! It’s your birthday! I was trying to be funny, but I guess I’ll leave up to Tommo. Anyway, I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday and tell you that I’m really glad we met you those few months ago. You’ve quickly become a great friend to me and I know my girlfriend is quite smitten with you. I’m watching you! Happy birthday, Emerson.” A laugh floated from my lips at the thought of stealing his girlfriend and I shot the two lovebirds a smile and a wink.

“Emersoon!” Louis and Eleanor cried as they filled the screen, throwing confetti into the air.

“Happy birthday, Em! You’ve officially joined the twenty plus club! Yay!” El called as Louis threw in some cheers for effect.

“Emerson, I just want you to know that we love and we think you’re lovely and we can’t wait to see you again! Obviously we’ll be seeing you right now, as this message is for the future. Hm, what should I tell my future self? Are carrots still relevant? I hope not!”

“Lou, she’s gonna see this in a few weeks! I’m sure it’ll still be relevant, you knob.” The two then got into a play fight and started wrestling, prompting the video to cut to Niall, who had a huge grin on his face.

“Hey, Emerson! Marina and I were going to do this together, but obviously we couldn’t see each other until your birthday. So! They’ll have to be split up. But anyway! Happy birthday, and I’ll see you soon!” Marina’s face then popped up and she had a goofy smirk on her face.

“Hey, Emerson. I’m watching you right now, in the future of course. I’m looking right at you. Creepy, isn’t it?” She’d made her voice go all weird and I was practically crying from laughing so hard, plus the fact that she was staring creepily at me from Niall’s lap across the apartment. “Anywho, you’re perfect and I love you and I tell you that everyday anyway. So happy birthday, my little darling!” Finally Zayn’s face popped up on the screen and he pulled a piece of paper up from his desk.

“So you’ve been bugging me about making a cartoon of you since you’ve seen all the ones I’ve done of the boys. But I did this one in like five minutes because I forgot, so it looks like shit. So I’m gonna keep this one, but remind me to make you a new one when I see you! I can’t wait to see you, I really miss you. Oh, you’ve just texted me! ‘Did you ever look into the tongue transplant?’ Well, I’ll have you know that, yes, I have! And at this moment, I’ve decided to wait. But one of these days, I’ll be styling my hair with my giraffe tongue! Just you wait and see! Okay, I should go now. But I love you and I hope you have an amazing birthday, babe!”

With a huge grin on my face, I turned to thank them all, but they all just kept nodding back to the TV, save for Nick, who looked like he’d rather be anywhere but my apartment. My eyes flitted back to the screen as the video changed once more and there was a torso in front of the camera.

“Is it on?” A voice that sounded strangely familiar asked as the body in front of the camera started to move. A boy with ginger hair was sitting on a bed in the background, and I quickly identified him as Ed Sheeran. Goodness, my heart was racing when I saw him. I’d been a big fan of Ed for a long time and the fact that he was in a video for me was unfathomable.

“Yeah, it’s on.” Harry. The tall boy stepped back into the frame and placed himself on the edge of a bed, which I could only assume to be Ed’s. Ed pulled a guitar from the floor and quickly counted himself in before strumming the opening chords to “Give Me Love”. No. Oh god, why was he doing this? Tears immediately pricked at my eyes as Harry’s green orbs came up to meet the camera. Zayn’s hand quickly found mine and he gave it a gentle, reassuring squeeze. Harry then dove into the song, giving it his everything. I hadn’t even seen him this passionate at his concerts. His voice shook a little at certain points and his eyes looked slightly glazed over, only making this even harder to watch. Soon he was singing out the final line and then he just sort of sat there, gazing at the camera. Finally, he stood and made his way to the computer, ducking down so his face was level with the camera. “Hi, Emerson,” he murmured as he tried to collect himself. “It’s your birthday. I- I know I’m not there right now, and I’m sorry. I just...god, I’m so sorry, Em. For everything. I was stupid when you were here and I know I messed up and I want to sincerely apologize for that. But I miss you. God, I miss you. So much it hurts some days. I know what you meant now when you said it scared you how much you missed me. I get it. Happy birthday, Emerson. I hope it’s everything you’ve wanted, because you deserve it. You’re perfect. I-”

The screen went black and the room was silent as I willed the few tears to stop falling from my eyes. I quickly pulled my hand from Zayn’s as I wiped at my face, trying to collect myself. That was the last thing I’d expected to see in that video. A quick scan of the room showed apprehensive looks on all of my friends’ faces. I could only imagine what they were thinking. Had they gone too far? Should they have let him make that video?

“I, uhh, I think I’m gonna head out.” I was startled by Nick’s voice and my eyebrows crinkled as he rose from the couch.

“What? Nick, wait!” I called as I hopped up and followed him to the door. He quickly grabbed his coat before exiting the apartment, and I was hot on his heels despite Marina calling me back. “Nick. Hey, wait.” I’d made my way to him about halfway down the hall, grabbing his arm to keep him from walking away. He spun quickly to face me, his face hard. “What’s going on?”

“Look, Em. We- we’ve changed. I think we both know that. You lead a completely different life now. All those people in there- it’s just not my speed, and they clearly don’t like me-”

“They can learn to like you! Nick, I promise, once they get to know you, they’ll love you,” I pleaded with him, my fingers finding his. He shook his head lightly though, his eyebrows pulling together.

“It’s not just that, Emerson. This Harry guy, he loves you. It’s obvious, and...and I can’t compete with that.” His face was dropping with each word he said, and I found myself becoming confused.

“What do you mean compete? Nick-”

“Look, he can do a lot more for you than I can, and- just leave it, Emmy,” he breathed with a sigh. I was about to protest, but another voice cut through the hall.

“I thought that name had been retired. But I guess he would know better than me, wouldn’t he?”
I spun on my heel at the voice, my eyes growing in size. They had to be deceiving me. There he stood, in all his glory, looking even more attractive than I’d remembered, if at all possible. He was wearing that stupid blue button up that I adored, and those stupid suede boot things that killed me, and that stupid black peacoat that made me want to jump him. His emerald eyes darkened as they drifted down to Nick’s and my hands, which were still tangled together. Without even thinking, I’d pulled my hand from Nick’s, crossing my arms over my chest.

“Harry-”

“She hates that nickname, you know. Her ex really did a number on her. Did you know that?” Harry’s tone was challenging as he paced toward us, his eyes locked with Nick’s. Nick swallowed loudly as he rubbed his hands on his pants.

“I- I know about Collin, if that’s what you’re implying.” He tried to keep his voice strong, but I noticed a ghost of a smirk pass Harry’s lips.

“Then you would know that he always called her ‘Emmy’ and that the name makes her skin crawl anymore.” My heart fluttered slightly at the fact that he remembered such a thing, but I was quickly grounded by the fact that he was showing up out of the blue and grilling Nick like this.

“I didn’t know that, but I don’t see how it’s relevant-”

“Of course you don’t...sorry, what was your name again? No one knows because you’re completely fucking irrelevant.” Harry’s voice came out in a snarl and I mentally face-palmed. Here we go.

“Excuse me for not being a silly pop sensation. But at least I know how to treat her well and not ignore her. At least I don’t act like a child.” My eyes widened at Nick’s words and I watched as Harry’s eyes became increasingly darker, his jaw clenching and his nostrils flaring. Nick’s lips held a snarky smirk and I felt myself immediately jumping to Harry’s side. I’d made the mistake of telling Nick how Harry couldn’t stand being called a child, and here he was using that against him. Harry moved like he was going to hit Nick, but I quickly stepped between them, turning to face Harry.

“Harry, please, leave it,” I whispered, placing my hands on his toned chest. His eyes darted from me to Nick a few times before I felt him relax under my touch. His eyes locked with mine again and he stared at me for a long moment before letting out a sigh and stepping away from me.

“I’m gonna go, Em. I’ll come back for my things in a bit,” Nick spoke, causing me to turn and find him getting into the elevator. By the time I turned to look at Harry, he’d already turned and headed for the stairs, leaving me alone in the hallway. I watched them both leave, trying to figure out who to chase after, if either. A part of me was tempted to go after Nick. He’d been my big brother through a lot of things, but he was right. We were different now. And Harry...he was here. I could do this, I could talk to him. We could fix things. But soon I found myself letting out a sigh as more tears came to my eyes. And I slowly turned and walked back to my apartment.