Kissing Fire.

Harry and I had spent four wondrous days together, just exploring the city and doing silly little things that couples did. Surprisingly, Harry never tried to get me to have sex with him, and it was partially admirable. Obviously, part of me was a little miffed. He was gorgeous and he liked me and we were dating and hey, I wanted to have sex with him. Sue me. We discussed it briefly on the second night and decided that we’d wait as we were still both kind of healing from our last relationships. But that was okay with me. Actually, in hindsight, it was probably better that we waited. I would’ve been much more upset the morning of the fifth day if we had done the deed.

When I woke up on my fifth morning in London, I was met with a cold and empty bed. Now at first, I didn’t think much of it. Perhaps he was using the bathroom or making breakfast or something of the sort. So with that thought in mind, I pulled myself from bed and made my way into the living room. There I found Louis sitting on the couch, a cup of tea in hand.

“Morning, babe,” Louis greeted, his eyes meeting mine briefly before returning to the soccer game that was on the television.

“Morning, Lou. Hazza in the kitchen?” I asked, nodding toward the kitchen. Louis’ eyes immediately shot back to mine as his eyebrows crinkled.

“He wasn’t in bed with you?” My face fell at his words, fear coming over me.

“Uhm, no. He wasn’t.” I excused myself to the kitchen for a cup of tea before flopping onto the couch next to Louis. “I wonder where he went,” I muttered lamely, ruffling my hair a bit.

“I’m sure he just popped out for something. Want to ring him?” Louis asked as he held his phone toward me. I nodded my head and thanked him before dialing Harry’s number and waiting while it rang. Right when I thought it was about to go to voicemail, Harry’s voice found my ears.

“Hello?” he asked hurriedly, like he was extremely busy.

“Hey, babe, it’s me,” I chirped happily, glad that he was okay and everything.

“Hey, I can’t talk right now, Em. I’ll ring you later.” And with that, the line was dead.

“Everything alright?”

“Uhm, yeah. Yeah, it’s fine. He’s just busy right now. Nothing to worry about,” I babbled, trying to convince myself that everything was okay.

“Bollocks, what could he be busy with when his girlfriend’s here from America? I’m sorry, love. I’m sure he’ll be back soon, though!” I nodded in agreement before settling in to watch the game with Louis.

Two hours later, I’d yet to hear from Harry and Louis was on his way out to see El. He’d invited me along, but I politely declined, stating that I didn’t want to be a third wheel. He nodded in understanding before telling me to let him know if I needed anything and then heading out. At that moment, I promised myself I’d give Harry one more hour before heading into the city to find something fun to do.

I spent the entire day at the apartment. Louis had called around seven to let me know he was staying with El for the night, but if I needed anything to once again let him know. At approximately 12:07, Harry barged through the front door. His hair was unkempt and he reeked of alcohol as he stumbled through the living room and into the bedroom, not even sparing me a glance. With a huff, I pulled myself off the couch and made my way to the bedroom where he was pulling off his jeans.

“Well hello to you, too,” I practically spat as he turned to face me.

“Oh, piss off, Em. I don’t have the time for this,” he muttered darkly before pushing past me and going to the kitchen.

“What the hell is your problem? If anyone should be upset right now it’s me.” To be honest, I was going to let the whole day slide had he come in and given me a valid reason for his absence. But when I was met with a drunk and snippy Harold, I was livid.

“Awh, did you have a bad day, Kitten?” His voice was laced with sarcasm and I was seconds away from smacking the stupid grin off his face. My jaw locked as I tried to force back tears and I took a deep breath through my nose before letting my eyes meet his again.

“Why are you being like this? Where were you all day?”

“I was out with some mates, it’s not a big deal.”

“You couldn’t have just told me that? Or, I don’t know, invited me along?” I expected him to sigh and tell me he was sorry, but instead his eyes narrowed slightly as he stared back at me.

“Nope.”

With a bitter laugh, I turned on my heel and stormed back to the bedroom, throwing all of my things together and heading for the door. “Where the hell are you going?” Harry demanded just as I turned the knob.

“I’m just going to Danielle’s for a bit. When you’re ready to talk to me, let me know.” I proceeded to open the door and slip out of the apartment, but I could still hear Harry shout as I headed down the hall.

“Why did you even come here then?”

--

After calling Danielle with shaky fingers outside the apartment building, she immediately took in my tone and told me to come over. So after a twenty minute cab ride that I definitely overpaid for, I was standing outside her door, tears in my eyes.

“Oh, babe, c’mere!” she cried as she pulled the door open and brought me inside. As soon as her arms were around me, the tears started spilling down my face and I couldn’t control myself. She hushed me and brought me over to the sofa, her eyebrows crinkled and her eyes sad. “What happened?”

“I-I don’t even know. He was literally out all day and then he stumbles in drunk off his ass and acts like I’m in the way or something! He even- as I was leaving he goes, ‘why did you even come here?’ or something and it’s just- he invited me here! I don’t get it, Dani. What did I do wrong?” I hiccuped my way through an explanation as she rubbed my back and nodded in all the right places.

“Emerson, you didn’t do anything. I don’t know what his problem is. He’s never like this. Do you want me to call El?” I shook my head vigorously.

“If El comes here, then Louis will have to go home and then he’ll yell at Harry,” I mumbled as I wiped at my eyes.

“Well he should! The boy’s being a right twat!” Dani fumed as she stood from the sofa.

“I just- I don’t want Lou to yell at him. Can we make tea?” I asked quickly as I stood as well. She nodded and headed to kitchen where she put the kettle on. “I’m sorry about this,” I muttered as I played with my hands.

“Oh, nonsense. Honestly, Em, I just want you to be okay. I wish I could tell you why he’s being like this.” Danielle let out a long sigh as we both fell into silence.

I just wished I could figure out what was going through Harry’s head. He was the one who’d invited me to London and everything had been going so perfectly. The past four days were some of the best of my life. And then all of a sudden, he’s slamming on the breaks? It just didn’t add up. I just wanted things to be okay though. When I went to bed that night, I told myself that I’d go over to the apartment in the morning and talk things out with Harry. And everything would be fine.

--

As I entered Harry and Louis’ apartment the next morning, a sinking feeling made itself comfortable in the pit of my stomach. The entire place was silent as I padded into the living room and for a few minutes I just stood there, contemplating my next move. Danielle and Eleanor were waiting in the lobby of the building and they said they’d be there until they saw me or got a phone call to let them know everything was ace. I should’ve been going to wake Harry. So why was I moving to sit on the couch? Why couldn’t I force myself to talk to him? I was scared, honestly. Terrified. I didn’t want to get in a fight with him, and part of me was scared that he was done with me. Maybe that’s why he’d avoided me the day before and why he was upset with me when he got home. Yes, perhaps I was thinking irrationally. Yes, I was probably going to regret my next move. But I panicked. So I quickly untied the silk wrap ‘H’ bracelet and placed it on the coffee table. Then, with a shaky breath, I stood from the couch and with tears in my eyes, exited the apartment.

I reached the lobby, furiously wiping at my eyes, and hardly looked at the two girls as I left the building and headed for Danielle’s car.

“Emerson, wait! What happened?” Eleanor cried as the two raced after me. By the time El’s arms wrapped around me, tears were already streaming down my face.

“Did you get in a fight? What’s going on?” Dani asked frantically. I pulled away from Eleanor slightly as I looked up at both of their concerned faces.

“I-I didn’t talk to him. I can’t. I’m...I’m going home. Can you take me to the airport?” Before either of them could get a word in, I ripped open the car door and threw myself into the backseat. The two exchanged worried looks before silently getting in the car. And off we went.

When we arrived at the airport, I pulled my things from Danielle’s trunk and the three of us headed inside. Upon arriving at the check-in desk, we were greeted by a cheery woman who ultimately just pissed me off. It’s like she was mocking me.

“Hello, ladies! What can I do for you today?” she asked with a bright smile. I had to take in a deep breath to keep from slapping the smile right off her face.

“I need the earliest and cheapest ticket to Philadelphia,” I spoke quickly, dying to get away from her. I saw Dani and El look at each other in confusion, but they both kept silent.

“Sure thing!” the woman chirped, and I quickly paid and finished everything. Soon the three of us were walking toward security and we stopped to say our goodbyes.

“Does Marina know you’re leaving London?” El asked as we turned to face each other. I let out a small sigh before shaking my head.

“No, but that’s probably for the best. She’d be freaking out and frankly, I can’t handle that right now. I just need some time away.”

“What’s in Philadelphia?” Dani asked, her eyebrows pulled together slightly.

“My parents,” I let out with another sigh. I hadn’t seen my parents in a while and it was mostly my fault. Hopefully they’d let me crash with them for a few days. Clearly I didn’t have much of a plan.

“Are you sure this the right thing to do? We could still go back to Harry’s. You could talk it all out; I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation.” Eleanor was practically pleading now, but I continued to shake my head.

“This is what needs to happen. I think...I think Harry and I rushed it. I’m not as ready for a relationship as I thought I was. It’s too much work right now.” The girls nodded in understanding before giving me billions of hugs and wishing me well. They promised they’d come visit as soon as El had a break from school and Dani had a break from dancing.

And the next thing I knew, I was headed for Philadelphia.

--

As I removed my suitcase from the luggage carousel, I pulled my phone from my backpack and unlocked it. Though I can’t lie, it felt strange using the phone that Harry was paying for now that we weren’t together. Oh, Harold. He was probably awake by now. Perhaps he’d even found the bracelet. But there were no texts or missed calls from him or any of the boys. So perhaps not. I quickly dialed in my mother’s number, hoping she’d answer even though she and my father were both at work.

“Hello?” she asked after the fourth ring.

“Hey, Mom. It’s Emerson,” I finally choked out, completely overwhelmed from her hearing her voice. If there’s one thing you need to know about my mother and I, it’s that she is literally the most important person in the world to me.

“Oh, baby, how are you? It’s been so long!” she cried happily over the phone, and I could just see her smile. I let out a small, teary laugh before telling her that I’d been better. “Well, what’s going on? Why are you calling?” she asked quickly, concern settling into her tone.

“I, uhm...I’m in Philly.”

“You are? Em, that’s great! Your father and I are at work, but just go to the house! You still have a key, right? Your room is still waiting for you; just make yourself at home. Get some sleep, you sound tired, Sweetie. And then when I get home, we can talk all about this, okay?” My mother was always one for getting all her thoughts out at once, so I wasn’t surprised when she threw her small, fast-paced speech at me.

“Yes, I still have a key. I think I’ll go take a nap and then I’ll see you in a bit.”

“Alright, darling. I’ll talk to you later. I love you!”

“I love you, too, Mom.”

So I quickly hailed a cab and headed for my childhood home, in hopes of a peaceful nap and a long, way overdue talk with my mother.

--

HIM.

“What the hell have you done?” the dark skinned boy bellowed as he stormed into Louis and Harry’s apartment. Louis quickly leapt up from the couch and held a hand out.

“Zayn, leave it, man-” he tried, but Zayn was fuming.

“No, I won’t leave it, Louis. I want to know what the bloody twat did to drive her out of the country!” The dark haired boy once again made a move toward Harry, who was sitting on the couch staring at his hands. His fingers slowly rubbed the silk of Emerson’s bracelet and his eyes were glassy.

“How did you even-?”

“Liam told me.”

“How does Liam-?”

“She went to Danielle’s last night.” Harry’s voice was barely audible, but it caused both Louis and Zayn to turn to face him. Once they realized he wasn’t going to say anything else, they looked to each other again.

“So clearly she told him. And I’m sure El knows as well. Does Niall know?” Louis asked, and not seconds later, the door to the apartment opened once again to reveal the last two members of One Direction.

“What happened?” Liam asked as he placed himself next to Harry and rested his hand on Harry’s back.

“He won’t fucking say anything, he just keeps looking at the damn bracelet!” Zayn cried, arms flailing and all.

“Jesus, mate, if you want her so bad, then have her!” Harry finally snapped, his eyes turning dark as he looked up at his friend.

“Oh, sod off, Haz. She’s like a sister to me. So what happened? Apparently she was really torn up. How could you hurt her? Especially after everything with Collin!” Niall flinched as Zayn shouted once again and Louis gave him a reassuring pat on the back.

“I just- I panicked, okay? I don’t know what happened! Everything was going so well, and then- I don’t know. I got scared. I didn’t- I didn’t mean to hurt her. That’s the last thing I’d want.” Tears slowly leaked from Harry’s eyes, causing Louis to shoot a glare at Zayn. But Zayn couldn’t care less. He was more concerned with Emerson at the moment.

“Fix this. Now,” Zayn snarled before he stormed out of the apartment. And all Harry could do was silently nod as the tears continued to fall.