Savior

Danny laid there on the double bed that was centred in the room he shared with the love of his life. His eyes slowly closing as his high was starting to take effect, music played in the back ground while tears stained his cheeks. He compared his life to the song that had just started playing on his iPod, Rise Against - Savior.

He knew what he was doing to himself but he refused to listen to anyone, he knew they couldn't take away his pain. The love of his life used to be enough to eliminate this pain but over the years they began to slowly drift apart causing Danny's pain to return. Now the only thing that could take his pain away was slowly killing him, he was digging his grave deeper every day.



As more tears escaped Danny wiped his face with the sleeve of his sweater wondering why his high wasn't affecting him like how it should. It only occurred to him that the first two lines of the song were somewhat true. He could barely remember the colour of those eyes that brought his peace. The scars that lined the other males arms and the inside of his thighs that Danny knew too well were caused by him. He'd become that accustomed to the scars that he almost forgot how Ben came to get them.



It seemed everyone wanted him to kick his addiction and start working on his life and relationship with Ben. Even his mother who was the cause for this addiction begged him to stop to no avail she gave up on him almost like everyone in his life save for for those closet to him. The ones who knew exactly what he was doing to himself. Cameron being one of Danny's best mates since childhood had once compared Danny's life to that of their song 'Reckless And Relentless'.



That's exactly how Danny felt. He always felt like a failure to Ben all those broken promises washed down the drain never to resurface as they were soon forgot just like everything else Danny had came to know. Alcohol. How could something you consider your best friend try to kill you with the more time you spent with it?

Danny loved his alcohol, Ben had questioned whether Danny loved his liquor more than he had loved him. Of course Danny had told Ben he loved him more but it didn't stop the male from doubting his words.



Both males had tried talking about their love for one another. Was it love? Or was it some sick game the two played to satisfy their needs. They always went back to the other for more pain. Ben had once called Danny a sadist causing Danny to call Ben a masochist.



After every argument, every hit and every cut both males would whisper the same apologises to each other. The same thing over and over again, like the last verse of their song ToThe Stage. 'I'm so sorry...'

Danny knew he loved Ben but what Ben needed he couldn't give and he tried telling him that. He tried to get Ben to leave him but he stayed, he loved Danny unconditionally.



Danny wanted to stop he wanted Ben to stop before he killed himself. He also knew that if he didn't stop neither would Ben. Danny had tried to stop and failed like all his other attempts, he'd get clean then something would happen making him start back up again.



Those were the days when they were so used to waking up to the beeping of a heart rate machine telling them they were still alive but only because they were hooked up to an IV. That was back when Danny was in the hospital every weekend without fail or Ben was in getting himself stitched up.



Ben stared at his scarred knuckles tears staining his cheeks as memories flooded his mind. Each memory more painful than the last. His anger building up like a child building a tower from building blocks. He knew the cause of his anger more than he knew the scars on his wrists.

He knew the male that lay on their shared bed was slowly killing himself from the poison he was constantly pumping into his veins. It killed Ben to know that the love of his life would soon be six feet under. Ben curled his hand into a fist tightening his grip on the air making his knuckles turn white as the crimson liquid started seeping through the crescent abrasions.



Ben looked into the bloodshot eyes of his own as stared at his reflection. He knew this isn't what he looks like but when the anger, pain and hurt took over it would leave him looking weak and defenceless. His eyes closed allowing more tears to fall as he came to grips with the only way he'd ever relief Danny of his burden.

Death.

Death was the only way to save Danny. His death would not only save Danny it would help him stop his sick addiction.



Ben hated Danny to a point it hurt him. He hated Danny for what he did to himself. The constant drinking, injecting and abusing his body.



Danny continued to lay there hearing the soft sobs over the music, it was almost like he'd woken up from a coma. He looked over his shoulder to the shared bathroom. He hadn't even realised Ben was home until his high had finished and he started his come down.

He climbed to his feet wandering into the bathroom. The pool of blood beside his lovers feet scared him more than seeing the male laying in a hospital bed hooked up to a heart monitor.



Danny was so used to hearing the voices in his head telling to take another hit. Telling him to end it all and not to listen to anyone. For once those voices were missing, the world around him was quiet, peaceful somehow.

Ben's eyes snapped open at the new presence in the bathroom. The heavy breathing coming from the taller male behind him. Those blue green eyes staring right through him as he stared back through the mirror.

He sighed in bliss as the males arms snaked around his waist pulling him closer as their grip around him tightened. To say he wasn't confused wasn't a lie, Danny hadn't been affectionate towards him for months.



Danny murmured silent apologies into the brown haired males neck. Tears staining his flushed cheeks as he held the one male that was making his pain disappear. Danny knew he could never leave Ben, he loved him so much it hurt to be apart from him. Ben felt the same the goosebumps forming on his skin as Danny sent chills down his spine.



Danny's grip around Ben's waist loosened as he pulled away all together, taking Ben's bleeding hand in his. He brought Ben's hand to his lips and began kissing each of his scarred knuckles.



Taking the towel that hung by the shower Danny wrapped it around Ben's hand all the while staring into those perfect hazel orbs. Ben found a smile occupying his lips as Danny pulled him into his chest. Wrapping his arms around the male Danny kissed the top of Ben's head all the while telling him everything was going to be okay.



Ben wrapped his arms around the taller male feeling somewhat satisfied that their sick game was over that they could finally be together in peace. No more drugs, no more cutting and their best try at no more alcohol.

They stood there for what felt like hours even though it had only been a matter of minutes. Danny pulled away staring into Ben's eyes a soft smile setting on his lips as he leaned in to claim Ben's own lips as his own. Danny deepened the kiss gaining entrance to Ben's mouth. Their tongues touching as they battled in dominance that Danny won.

This was their new start. Their new life.