Under his touch

My heart exploded. It must have done because my chest felt empty. I look at Brian with my mouth hung open, he sort of mirrors my facial expression, like it has only just sunk in. I don't blink but I can't feel my eyes. My palms feel wet, it must be sweat. Oh God, this can't be happening.

“Wh-Why? Which one?” I ask.

Brian's chest expands, “We must have fucked up the order. It's The Cove.”

I don't know anything about the guys business. I only know two things. One, they sell the finest drugs in the world. Two, they deal to one of the top American business gangs in the world. That gang just so happens to be The Cove. They won't stop at anything to get their revenge. It must be bad. The guy must have sold them a bad batch, someone must have died for them to come after them. Kingston Prett. That was the leader, the man main.

“Which one died?” I whisper, my throat dry.

His eyes close, “It was Kingston's wife.”

Shit. Shit. Shit, “They're gonna take me!” I squeal, loud enough for Matt to come storming into the room.

“Nobody's going to take you, Kay.” Matt says sternly.

“What else is there? Each gang has a girl right? That's the 'prize' possession. You killed theirs so I'm the next option!”

"We're dealing with everything perfectly fine."

"Obviously you aren't!"

"Don't use that tone with me."

"Fuck you!"

I spun around in rage and instantly regretted it. Matt was biting his lip, his eyes narrowed and his nostrils flared. To put it blankly, he looked absolutely pissed. I don't think I've ever shouted at him before. I stand up and take a step backwards and bump into Brian's chest. He doesn't move away, it feels like he's smelling my hair and it only makes me want to get away from him even more. Matt's glare is still on me.

When is he going to hit me? I wish he'd get it over with. I stand still, my hands linked together and my eyes staring up at him. I feel like I'm going to pass out. My head feels light from all the panic. The panic from Matt and the panic from the whole situation. My eyes cloud over.

“Kay!” He screamed, clicking his fingers in my face.

I blink and I can see again. Matt's in front of me one hand on his hip, “P-Pardon?”

“Pack your fucking shit! Now!”

I obey and launch myself towards the stairs. I climb up them and run into my bedroom, my socks sliding against the floor. I pull out my backpack that Johnny had gave me when I was a kid, we used to play hitch-hikers with it. Thinking rationally, I grab underwear, a hoodie, a spare t-shirt, jeans and socks then my iPod and my blanket that I've had since as long as I can remember. I can't sleep without it. Carefully, I zip up the bag and sling it over my shoulder noticing Bella's collar sitting on my bed. Grabbing it, I don't look back and run downstairs. All the guys are standing by the front door. It's open.

I'm going outside.

I'm actually going outside.

My smile gets huge and I almost scream from excitement. My lungs fill with air and I bite my lip. Matt turned and looks at me. He asks me if I've got everything I'll need, and I nod automatically. I look down at my feet and suddenly I realise something.

“I don't have any shoes.” I mumble, but the whole room goes silent.

I've never owned a pair of shoes in my whole life. I suppose there was no point. I've never put a pair of shoes on. I've asked but Brian said no. They said that if I have shoes then I'll want to use them outside. I didn't argue. Now that I'm finally going outside, I'm stuck. I stare at the gravel and all the rocks outside. There's no way I can walk over that. I wonder what shoes feel like? I imagine them to feel heavy, do you have to lift your foot extra hard to get it up? I frown.

“Bri, your bag is loaded, carry her to the car.”

I step back right away, anybody but Brian, “I can walk there.”

Jimmy laughs, “You'll cut your feet.”

“No I won't, I won't cut my feet.” I splutter out desperately.

Brian walks over to me with a blank expression. I try to walk right past him but he sticks his arm out. I almost have an anxiety attack when he touches the top of my arm. He can't touch me. I am not being held by this man, I'm not.

I look over at Jimmy with pleading eyes, practically begging him to carry me. Within a second Jimmy's pushed his bag in Brian's arms and lifts me up bridal style. Gasping, I grip onto his T-shirt and hold my breath as he pushes himself outside.

The fresh air hits me, hard. It's hot air. It feels amazing. The sun light beams down on me, prickling at my pale skin. My eyes find it hard to keep themselves open as I stare at the green grass. I want to lean over and touch it but as soon as the idea enters my head I'm being pushed into the back of a van.

Jimmy puts me on the edge and goes to help the guys put the suitcases in the car. Suddenly, I see Bella. She's wining, Matt must have shouted at her. I call her name softly and big thundering paws come running towards me, stealth. She leaps onto the van with a thud and curls herself against my legs.

“Bella's going in the car.” Zacky tells me, “Bella, out.”

She just looks at him, her eyes look bored. She looks up at me, and I swear I can see amusement across her face. Her head comes down again onto my lap.

“Bella!” Matt booms, making her jump and follow where he points in the back of the car.

I blink at him, “Why can't I go in the car with her? Where are we going?”

Matt puts a back pack beside me, “Because Johnny's driving that car and he needs Bella's company. Jimmy's driving this van, you'll be in it the whole journey with myself, Zacky and Brian.”

“Where are we going?” I ask again, ignoring his bossy reply.

“Out of here.”

I don't dare test his patience. He bends down and picks up five or size bed covers and throws them in the van, followed by six pillows. I sit listening to my iPod while they all run around packing. I'm not quite sure why Jimmy's driving. I've heard stories that he's a terrible driver. I feel the van shake and look up to see Jimmy behind the wheel.

He waves at me from the mirror and starts the engine. Zack, Brian and Matt get in and shut the door. I pull my head phones out and put it back in my backpack. Brian reaches into his bag and cracks open a beer. Matt rolls his eyes.

I find myself moving closer and closer towards Zacky and away from Brian as possible. I expected the van to be loud, but it felt like we wasn't even moving. It was surprisingly comfy too, mainly because I had wrapped myself up in one of the duvets. Matt was talking to Zack about something while Brian stared down at the floor. He's on his fourth beer and his eyes look slightly cloudy. I bite my lip softly.

“Can I go sit up front with Jimmy?” I ask them.

Zack shakes his head and Matt answers, “Nope.”

I sigh in frustration and lean my head against the back of the van, “Fuck.” I mutter.

Matt's head snaps up towards me, “What was that?”

“Nothing.”

He looks over at Brian and Brian looks back at him. They both give each other a strange look and it makes my breathing speed up. I glare at them both and then turn my head away, focusing on anything but them. I stand up, steadying myself against the back of Jimmy's seat and poke my head through. Jimmy jumps and swerves slightly, but smiles when he notices it's me. We talk for a while before Matt screams at me.

I feel myself being pulled down into his lap. His large arms wrap themselves around my torso and his fingers lock together. My arms are trapped. I try to squeeze out but his trip just tightens.

“You'll stay like this until I see fit to trust you not to disrupt everything.” He tells me.

I try to push him away again but I give up, “Fine.”

“What?”

My jaw tenses, “Yes sir.”

“Better.”

Brian has a huge smug smile plastered across his face. He winks at me and turns back to his cell phone. I'm just glad I'm tangled in Matt's arms and not his.