Sirens

I lost my heart. My home is the ocean.
The waves underneath, will soon be home.

I'm falling into a deep sleep. My hands are shaking as my body becomes cold. I'm not sure how much more I can handle. I'm freezing, so very cold. My entire body is becoming numb. Why, oh why, did I have to give in and jump? "Everyone's jumping! It's called cliff diving." He said and took my hand. I knew I shouldn't give in to his words. He's just so pretty. So very, very pretty. His eyes, they seem so trustworthy. Now though, now look at me. My lips, I know they are blue. My lungs are aching. I feel like I am suffocating. What do I do? I can't move, so I can't pull myself up out of the water. I'll just keep sinking. Going further and further down into the ocean.

I will fall asleep. Fall asleep.
I'll close my eyes and dream of days when I wasn't all alone.

My mother and father, what will they think? What will they say? They will miss me so much. There's nothing I can do now. Not from down here. Where will I go? I'll miss them so much. I remember my mother used to take me swimming at the city pool all the time. I've always loved the water. My father used to call me a merfish. I'd laugh and tell him they don't exist. He always said they did. Then he'd tell me to never go swimming in the ocean because I'd prove myself wrong when I found a mermaid. I'd just laugh. He's so silly. My parents, I guess now I'll find out if merfish exist. I hope they do so he can prove me wrong. I love them so much. Mother, father, I'm so sorry. I'm going and gone.

All that I know is gone.
Take what is left of me now.
All that I know is gone.
Take what is left of me.
Fall deeper and deeper.
The Sirens are singing your songs.

I hear music. Beautiful music. A song so sweet that my ears are ringing. What is this beautiful melody? Was my father right? Do mermaids exist? God the sound is as sweet as honey. Wait, what was that other thing that sung? The thing that sang to sailors to lead them astray? Didn't they also drag them down into the depths and drown them. Damn it. What were they called? Sirens I believe. Please, do not call to me. I'm not ready to die. I'd open my mouth to speak but there is nothing left in me. My body feels like it is on fire and freezing at the same time. Cold fire. The icy blue flame. Have you ever taken salt and poured it on your skin, then lain a ice cube on top of it until you couldn't stand the pain anymore? That pain is what I am feeling right now. But amplified and not just in one place. My lungs are gone. My breath...my breath is....

I'll miss my breath, there's no more left. Don't miss the sound of the wind at my back.

My breath is gone. How I am still alive, I'm not sure. I guess this is the moment where my body will slowly begin to shut down on me. I'm watching and feeling my body giving out until I die. When I jumped, the wind on my skin, the fast pace of falling, that is what terrified me. Now I know why. I had a good reason to be terrified. This is the day I would die. All because I gave in. They all did it. Why is it that the first time I try cliff diving, I lose my life? God if you exist, fuck you. This isn't fair at all! I only tried it once! How can you do this to people? My parents will be so heart broken! My friends, that beautiful boy, they will all miss me, right? Then why God? Why? What did I ever do to deserve death at such a young age? I did everything my elders asked of me. I was good in school. Why?

The depths have a number, they call you by name.

I hear my name being called. Sirens, they must exist. To bad I will never be able to tell my father. He would be so happy. He loves all things mystical and beautiful. God that voice, it is so beautiful. So very beautiful. I could listen to the sound forever. "Ryan? Ryan!" The voices shout out loud to me. I could fall asleep listening to that sound. This must be it. This must be the part where I am supposed to fall asleep and never wake up. I understand now. I should just....

Fall asleep, Davey Jones calls you, so fall asleep, fall asleep and dream.

Fall asleep and dream. Fall into that final sleep. This is my final moment. The moment I have been waiting for. I'll just give in and fall asleep. Goodbye mother. Goodbye father. Farewell beautiful boy. So long friends. I will miss you all. Wherever it is I end up. I will be thinking about you all, always. I'm so sorry everyone. I love you all. Goodbye.

All that I know is gone.
Take what is left of me now.
All that I know is gone.
Take what is left of me.
Fall deeper and deeper
The Sirens are singing your songs.

All that I know is gone. Take what is left of me now.
All that I know is gone. Take what is left of me.
Fall deeper and deeper, the Sirens are singing your songs.