All The Small Things

(Chapter Seven)

Vinny’s POV:

A day after Vinny found out and he was still pissed. His baby sister was pregnant. She was having a baby. Knocked up. He was going to be an uncle. There were so many different ways to say it but it still didn’t make him feel any better about the situation.

He had promised their father before he died that he would look out for his mother and sisters. But this? Tessa being pregnant? He admitted that he was way too over protective of his sister for his own good, but he was just trying to look out for her. She was pregnant and even if he didn’t want to, he knew Matt and Tessa were intimate before their marriage. He had been so excited to hear they were engaged and for Matt to come to him and ask him for his sisters hand along with his mother.

But this? A baby before they were married?

It was all a little fast for him to understand. He was still trying to get his mind around the fact that his baby sister was going to be marrying his best friend. And now this?

Yes he was a little harsh on how he reacted, but he was just so confused and worried. His parents had gotten pregnant with him before they were married and almost split up afterward. They had gotten married soon after his mom had gotten pregnant because of him and it nearly ruined them. He didn’t want that to happen to Tessa and Matt. He didn’t want them to have the same fate as his parents.

Sure they had gotten back together, but that was because of Tessa. After he was born, his parents had been on a downward spiral going out of control. By the time he was two, he had witnessed many times how horrible their marriage had been. And then his mother said that she was pregnant again. Then somehow during that time they had worked everything out and became one of the best couples Vinny had ever seen. But it had been a long hard journey for them to get where they had been before his father had died.

Even when Tessa had first been born, things had still been a little rocky, but thankfully Tessa never had to see how truly horrible things had been. She hadn’t even been born and by the time she had been able to understand things better, everything was fixed and his parents had announced that they were pregnant again when Tessa was three and Vinny was five.

It had taken a full three years for them to fix their marriage, and thankfully neither of the girls had to see what Vinny saw, both being too young or not even born to see. And they still didn’t know. Their father had taken it to the grave, not telling his girls. Vinny knew that he was ashamed of what happened and had even apologized to Vinny before he had died because of it.

The three of them had hid it from the girls for their own good, so that they didn’t need to know the horrible first few years of their marriage had been. To Tessa and Kate, they had been the perfect couple, and they were. Once they had gotten past all the bad things, they truly were. But Vinny still shuddered at how bad it had been. And he didn’t want the same fate for Matt and Tessa and the baby.

The baby. Vinny honestly was excited to be an uncle. Everyone knew he loved kids. He had always dreamed of having kids of his own and how excited he would be finding out Tessa or Kate was pregnant. But he hadn’t been expecting this. Not one bit.

He was very excited for Tessa and Matt, but there was that nagging voice in his head that said it wouldn’t work. And that’s what was making him keep his distance from the happy couple. He didn’t want to tell Tessa the truth about their parents. He had promised them when he was young to never tell them and planned on keeping it that way until he died. But he had a feeling it might slip if he talked to them. He didn’t want to scare Tessa and have her look at her parents differently because of it. He never wanted them to find out.

And if Tessa somehow found out, she might be terrified, thinking like him that they would end up like their parents. But instead of getting back together, they would stay apart and break off the engagement, or, God forbid, get a divorce. He didn’t know what the two of them would do now that they were expecting, but he hoped it wouldn’t turn out in marriage. Yes someday, but not now. Not just because of the baby. If they did, it would continue to look like they were headed for the way their parents were. And Vinny didn’t know if he would be able to see his sister go through that.

The last 24 hours had been a blur to Vinny, thinking and trying to wrap his mind around everything that was going on. Matt had tried to talk to him on several occasions along with Tessa, Kate, and his mom calling him. The only person he had picked up for was his mother since he would be able to tell her everything without telling his sisters. She knew exactly what he was thinking, and she had told him she had been thinking the same thing, but was actually talking to Tessa. He had pleaded with his mother to tell Tessa he wasn’t mad, just needed time, needed to get himself together and he didn’t want to stress her out of worry her. He just needed time.

His mother, the Godsend that she was, agreed, but told him to get his crap together since as Tessa got further along, she was going to need all the support she could get. He promised her that he only needed a little time and that hopefully all these thoughts and worries in his mind went away. He kept telling himself he just needed time.

He had been lost in his thoughts for basically all of the day before and all of that day and had been running on autopilot, keeping to himself and not really saying anything. He knew that everyone on tour knew something was going on with him, and that everyone knew Tessa was pregnant. So obviously they knew why he was so upset. He probably looked like the biggest ass to them, ignoring them and his own sister while wallowing in his own self pity, but he couldn’t tell anyone what was really going on.

As he was walking down the hall of the new venue they were at, still trying to keep his thoughts at bay, Danny appeared, walking the opposite way with a huge smile on his face. When the guitar tech saw Vinny there, his smile faltered a little but managed to keep it on his face somehow. He knew that the other boy wanted to say something and knew he probably would. But Vinny secretly prayed he wouldn’t even though Danny was now walking closer and slowing down. Sure signs that he was going to attempt a heart to heart.

“Hey Vin, what’s up?”

Vinny just shrugged, “nothing much. Just bored now that everything’s set up. What about you?”

“I finished setting up and I wanted to find someone to go on a Starbucks run with me. You game?”

Vinny thought about it a moment. Coffee sounded good. Really good. Considering he barely had gotten any sleep the night before. The only downfall? It was perfect opportunity for Danny to get him alone and try to get him to tell him what was going on. Why he was being so weird and unlike his normal obnoxious self.

But in the end, coffee won. Danny’s face lit up as he mentioned something about grabbing their coats and heading off and he just nodded as they walked silently to the bus’ to grab their things. Once they had everything, Danny led them down towards the Starbucks he had previously looked up on his phone. So far, he hadn’t mentioned anything, but it had only been five minutes, there was still plenty of time for him to bring it up.

And ten minutes later he did.

“I know you don’t want to talk, and I respect that.” Danny started. The Starbucks was in view and all Vinny wanted to do was rush inside so they didn’t have to continue this conversation. This was exactly why he didn’t want to go on a coffee run with the other guy.

“But if you ever do want to talk. I’m there if you need me. I know some of the guys can’t keep a secret, I’m probably no better, but if you need me to, I can keep my mouth shut so you can tell me whatever’s bugging you. It’s a heavy burden to bare keeping something to yourself for a long time and I know it gets harder and harder, so if you need to finally say whatever it is that you’re keeping to yourself, just come ask.”

Vinny just nodded in reply and thanked him as they walked inside. He honestly felt a little better after Danny said that, really taking into consideration what he said. Danny didn’t have the best track record for keeping his mouth shut, but he had a feeling if it was truly that important, the guitar tech would somehow manage.

And maybe he would even take Danny’s suggestion seriously. He didn’t know how long he really was going to be able to keep this all in. He had a feeling it all might come out like word vomit someday, and instead of that happening, he would rather just talk to Danny about it. Maybe he would help clear his thoughts and keep his head on straight. God knows he won’t be able to keep this in much longer.