My Baby, My Darling.

WARNING: EXPLICIT/SEXUAL CONTENT NC-17

My kisses were slow, careful. That’s how I always was with him, like at any moment he would disappear. He was that special to me, he was that perfect. He was always the one that wanted to protect me, but I wanted to protect him just as much.

"Hi." He smirked, his arms pulling me closer to him. The water came down over us, muffling his words but I heard him perfectly. My fingertips traced over his jawline and his grin deepened.

"Hey." I whispered, raising an eyebrow at his casualty. "So this is what you meant by washing up? Ambushing me in the shower.”

He nodded, his grin growing wider if that were possible. I couldn’t help the smile that spread onto my lips. He was beautiful. “I can get out if you want?”

I shook my head, my hands moving to the back of his neck to keep him in place. He laughed, his arms wrapping tighter around me, pulling me close to him.

My body pressed against his as if out of instinct. I don't think I ever fully appreciated how wonderful his body felt pressed against mine, his presence beside me in general. The warmth from his body made me feel secure, the feel of his chest rising and falling, the way his arms wrapped around me like a blanket. He leaned down to place light kisses on my forehead, his lips moving to kiss both of my cheeks, the tip of my nose, and lastly on my lips. His lips brushed against mine and he smirked, refusing to connect his lips with my own. I rolled my eyes. He was always playing games, finding small reasons to get under my skin. It always worked.

“Don’t be an asshole.” I murmured, my eyes fluttering open to give him a look. He threw his head back in laughter, his hands moving up to brush my wet hair our of my face. He nodded and connected his lips with mine, his hand moving to the back of my neck and pulling me closer, deepening the kiss.

I moved to the tips of my toes so he didn’t have to bend down so much and my lower stomach brushed against his arousal. Realization struck me and that’s when I realized the situation we were currently in. We were both fully bare, void of all clothing that usually stood as a barrier between us. Right now, nothing was hidden and all of my insecurities stood in front of him, ready to scrutinize and evaluate. A worried look crossed my features for a split second. I quickly pushed it away, recovering my calm stature. But I wasn't quick enough.

"What's wrong?" He panted, his expression contorting to one of concern. He cupped my cheek and forced my eyes to meet his.

I shook my head and scoffed, averting my eyes. "Nothing’s wrong."

"Tell me." He insisted, meeting my eyes again.

"No." I licked over my lips, shaking my head. I refused to be one of those girls that constantly pointed out her own insecurities to her boyfriend in order to fish for compliments. I wasn't going to give into the stereotype. As far as Dexter knows, I am confident with myself and not dependent on him for superficial compliments.

He let out a breath of air and shook his head in frustration. "Why do you insist on doing that all the time?”

"What?" I furrowed my eyebrows, my hands dropping from his neck to rest on his shoulders.

"Hide what you're feeling."

"I don't." I lied.

He nodded, licking over his lips. "Yeah, you do."

"Sue me if I don’t want to talk about every single emotion and feeling I ever have." I pursed my lips.

I noticed that his eyes never left my own, not once to look down and scan my body. He didn't let his hands wander anywhere he wouldn't place them in public. He respected me, even when my insecurities were displayed right in front of him. I knew that he didn’t come in her for sex.

"That doesn't make you weak." He spoke affirmatively. "It makes you human. You are allowed to talk about your emotions. I want you to talk to me about these things. I want you to know that you can. I’ll love you just the same, the way that you are. Your honesty is one of the reasons I fell in love with you. So, don't do that. You know, hide your emotions like you're ashamed to have them."

His words hit me like bullets. 'Your honesty is one of the reasons I fell in love with you.' It applied to him in so many ways. I had to tell him tonight, before anything got worse. I had to tell him because I loved him.

And my heart swelled by how much I loved him at that moment. Without thinking, I connected my lips with his. I kissed him more feverishly than before and my actions surprised even myself. I loved him so much, and I wanted him to know that.

At first, he was confused. His lips moved against mine the same way as before and he let out a moan of surprise when I bit down on his lower lip. He got the hint. His hands moved down to grip my waist, pulling me so that there was no space between us. My hand reached down to stroke his arousal and a low growl emitted from the back of his throat. His eyes met mine and I watched as they slowly clouded over with lust.

"Jump." He ordered in between kisses and his hands moved to the back of my thighs.

I jumped, my hands moving to wrap around his waist. He moved so that my back was pressed against the shower wall. I let out a gasp and his lips moved down to my neck, sucking harshly on the skin and biting after every moan that slippsed past my lips. He was never like this before. I’d never let it go this far before. But I’ll be damned if I was going to stop him now. He was igniting my body in ways I didn’t think possible.

Under the still running shower, we were enveloped into a steaming cluster of hormones, groping each other with a newfound urgency and responding to each other’s touch with a newfound passion. Dexter hovered over me, kissing along my collar bone and lightly cupping my breast with one hand. My nails raked up and down his back, clawing slightly as my other hand moved to run along the back of his head, pulling lightly on his hair. He emitted a low growl before attaching his lips to my neck.

“Fuck.” He hissed against my skin, his hand gripping my waist and pinning me against the wall. “Do that again.”

His thumb flicked over my breast, and I couldn't help but arch my back from the pleasure it sent throughout my body. I did what he asked and pulled on his hair again, causing him to growl and bite aggressively on the sensitive spot on my neck. I moaned loudly and brought his lips back up to meet mine.

It was like the emotions spilling out on the club's dance floor were transferred into the confines of my shower as both of us tried to outdo the other, lost in a sea of lust.

I trailed kisses along his neck and felt his hands slowly trail up my inner thigh, causing my core to throb in anticipation. I lightly bit down on the skin below his earlobe and he groaned, his hands stopping to grip my inner thigh. His fingers brushed past my folds and I threw my head back in ecstasy, my eyes rolling back into my head. I’d never felt anything so satisfying in my life.

"Baby, you're so beautiful." He whispered before connecting his lips with my own again. I bit my lip to hide the moan that threatened to escape past my lips as he repeated the same motion.

His thumb circled around my sensitive nub, causing me to fall apart right in front of him. I panted heavily, suddenly unaware of the ability to breathe properly.

“Talk to me,” He said, his hands ceasing its movements and if I could function properly I would have rolled my eyes. Instead, I shook my head and leaned onto his shoulder, unable to form coherent words. “Say something or I’m leaving you right here, just like this.” His brushed his fingers past my folds again and I moaned.

“Please.” I whispered against his neck. My breaths coming out in heavy pants. “Keep going.”

He stayed still for a moment, still kissing along my collar bone before slipping a finger inside of my core. I threw my head back in pleasure, my head slamming against the shower wall. His lips met mine to muffle the moans emitting from my mouth. He remained still for a moment inside of me, before starting to pump in and out slowly. I found myself moaning, making noises I had never thought myself capable of.

His lips moved to my collar bone as he added a second finger, moving faster than he had before. My nails raked down his back, moving to pull at the hair on the nape of his head. I briefly felt his arousal brush past my inner thigh, but was too lost in my pleasure to pay specific mind to it. That's when he added a third finger, and it began to hurt a little. He sensed this and automatically connected his mouth to one of my breasts, igniting another set of moans from my mouth.

Just as everything was starting to feel amazing, he pulled his fingers out and began to trail light kisses from my breasts, to my collar bone, up my neck, and eventually to my lips. Slowly, he lowered me onto the shower floor, never breaking contact with my lips. I wanted nothing more at that moment than to continue this frenzy in my bedroom, but I knew that was just the lust clouding my emotions. But the thought was certainly in my mind. We stayed under the warm water, our arms wrapped around each other as he placed a small kiss in my forehead. His breathing was heavy and slightly husky in contrast with my light pants. We stayed like that for a few moments, panting under the shower and placing light kisses on each others lips until the water began to turn cold.

I left the shower before Dexter to allow him to wash the day off of him. I got dressed in my usual pajamas, yoga pants and a band tee, before making my way back into the bathroom to brush my teeth. As I was finishing up at the sink, Dexter finally emerged from the shower, a towel wrapped loosely around his lower half. I sent him a goofy face before rinsing out my mouth and pointing outside, toward my dresser.

"I left some of your clean clothes out for you." I spun around and leaned against the counter.

Dexter left a few clothes at my place for when he spent the night. We never did anything more than sleep beside each other. But that was all I needed to be content, feel his warm body pressed against my own, his arms wrapped around me while I drifted to sleep. It made me feel safe.

He smiled, nodding slightly and pecking my lips. "Thanks, baby."

I felt myself smile at the petname. I remember how it used to annoy me when he called me that. Now I longed for the words to leave his mouth. I washed my face and blow dried my hair before emerging from the bathroom. Dexter was sitting at my desk, fully clothed and staring intently at one of the books that sat on my shelf, but I wasn't quite sure which one. I licked over my lips and watched as his brow furrowed in concentration, a smile crossing his features every so often.

"What are you reading?" I wrapped my arms around his shoulders from behind, placing a kiss on his neck.

He smirked, turning slightly so that he could face me. "Your annotations for Julius Caesar."

I laughed, rolling my eyes as I finally figured out why he was smiling. "Alright, I was a sarcastic child. I'll admit that."

"You wrote 'didn't see that one coming' in Act 3 Scene 1. Babe, you wrote that in the death scene." He raised an eyebrow, stifling a laugh.

I shook my head, snatching the book from his hand. "Alright we're done with that."

"No, I'm not." He stood and grabbed it back from me, taking advantage of his height difference as he held it high into the air, out of my grasp. "I think I saw a Spice Girls reference in here somewhere."

"Give it back, Dex!" I whined, reaching for it.

"No." He smirked, raising the book even higher.

"Now." I plastered a serious expression onto my face, like I were scolding a child.

"No."

I licked over my lips, sending him a warning glare before pouncing on top of him, making him crash down onto my bed.

He only laughed maniacally and continued to hold it out of my reach. I pinned his arms down with my knees and reached above him to snatch the book out of his hands.

"Ha." I smirked, looking down at his knowing smile and waving the book in front of him.

I shot him a smug smile and moved off of him, spinning around to begin my trek towards the bookshelf in the corner of my room. However, my actions were only thwarted when he ambushed me from behind and threw me over his shoulders, tossing me onto the bed. I laughed and sent him a mock warning before his body quickly covered my own, pinning me down on all fours. I raised an eyebrow at him, watching as a smirk slowly made its way onto his lips. That's when he did the most unimaginable, frowned upon action in my book. The son of a bitch began to tickle me.

I was involuntarily sent into a writhing fit of giggles and tosses and turns, trying to free myself of his grasp. The one thing I hated more than anything was to be tickled, and he knew that.

He learned about my aversion when we were ordering ice cream a while back at Windorg's Parlor. I was entirely captivated by this one magician entertaining a crowd of children for a birthday party in the corner of the room. I remember Dexter had poked my side to bring me out of my trans because the lady behind the counter was waiting on my order. I jumped so high into the air and slapped his hand away, sending him a warning look to never do that again. But, of course, he did the exact opposite of that. Dexter found ways to tickle me when I was caught off guard, or trying to concentrate on something. And now, he was doing it just because he could.

"I give, Dexter." I heaved, still laughing uncontrollably, "I give. Please stop!"

He smirked, his hands still resting at my hips. "Since you asked nicely."

I rolled my eyes, pushing him off of me. "You know I hate that."

"Yup." He nodded, grabbing the book off of the ground and pushing it back into the bookshelf. "I know a lot about you."

"Not everything." I pointed out to him, sliding under my covers and lying on my side, facing him.

He plopped down beside me, on top of the blanket and flat on his back, facing the ceiling. "How can I forget?" He smirked, concentrating on my ceiling.

We laid like that for a few moments, in silence. I took that time to examine his features, like I had so many times before. The contour of his lips, the shape of his nose, the curious look in his eyes; all of which I knew so well. I spent that time gearing up for what I was about to tell him, the secret I was about to spill. I parted my lips slightly, readying myself to speak.

"You were acting weird, earlier." He spoke softly, his eyes turning to meet mine. "When I joined you in the shower."

I licked over my lips, fighting back a blush. I was not prepared to talk about this piece of information. All the words I had prepared in my head went out the window. "Was I?"

He nodded, his eyebrows furrowed as he examined my facial expression. "Yeah. You were quiet at first.”

"Weird." I muttered, "I-I don't remember that."

His eyes bore into my own. "I told you that you could tell me anything, right? If I said something-"

"I know, Dexter." I interrupted him, not wanting to continue this discussion.

"I realize you do that pretty often." His gaze stood unrelenting. "You tense for a split second, then you push it away, trying to hide it."

"I don't." I shook my head, turning my gaze away from him.

"Yeah, you do." His features contorted to a look of worry and concern. "And you always do it when-"

He was silent, his body tensed and he sat upright. Now he was hovering over me, cupping my cheek. Crap. I shook my head and threw my pillow over my face, not wanting him to see my blush. To say I was embarrassed would be an understatement. All I wanted at that moment was for the world to open up and swallow me whole.

"Chelsea. Baby, I'm so sorry. I didn't know. Had I known, I wouldn't have- oh, shit. The shower. Fuck, I am so sorry. Did I hurt you?"

"Stop." I groaned, swatting his hand away before removing the pillow from my face and sitting up. "I'm fine. I would have stopped you if I wasn't okay. See, I knew this would happen."

"You knew what would happen, baby?" He cooed, kissing my shoulder as if to soothe me.

I shrugged him off. "I knew you'd treat me differently, like I'm not experienced enough."

"Baby, I don't think that." He shook his head, a worried expression still on his face as he rubbed my knee. "I'm sorry for overreacting. It's just- your first time should be special. I don’t want to take that away from you.”

I nodded, biting my lip as I stared into his eyes. Tears were threatening to fall from my face. I don't know why. Maybe it was the kindness in his words, or the embarrassment, or maybe I was still recovering from the awful tickling fit. Just when I though I couldn't love this man any more.

"You don't feel differently about me." I spoke softly, staring into his eyes.

He smiled lightly, shaking his head. "If anything, I love you more than I ever have. It's special that you've kept it for this long, admirable even."

I had no words, or at least none were coming to mind. I don't know why I was so hesitant to tell him, he was a true gentleman. I wanted to thank him, love him, do something that would show him how much he meant to me at that moment in time. I reached my hands up to cup his face, my thumbs moving in circles around his cheeks. And that's when I knew, from the way that he looked at me, that he was mine. I moved up to kiss his lips, a kiss that meant so much more than all the other ones. It seemed as if that kiss, that was the kind of kiss that made the world stop.