I'll Be Right Beside You

“And we would like to ask you to respect Cameron Bates, her family, and her friends’ privacy through what is a very difficult time. Thank you,” we turned off the TV as Dan finished his interview on television. Shelley and Steve were curled up on one couch, Cam and I on the loveseat with two of the kids asleep over us, and Lauren sat in the recliner, also asleep. I kissed the top of Cam’s head, mussing up her bob-length hair.

“Hopefully people listen, I don’t want mom to get basically attacked again,” she sighed. Lauren had ran to the grocery store and been bombarded by fans eager to hear about how Cam was doing. While it had been nice to see that kind of support for her to get better, it had been traumatizing for her mom, because we’d had no idea people would even recognize her.

“I know. If she needs to go anywhere I’ll go with her, just to be sure,” I reassured her, and Cam nodded before pressing a whisper-soft kiss to my cheek.

“Thanks Jordy,” she whispered, her voice ragged and rough from lack of use the past week or so. She’d been better the past few days – awake and alert and wanting to be around us. Her doctor had set up follow up appointments for her, as well as referring her to a counselor, which he thought would be beneficial for her. She hated the idea, but she wanted to return to hockey and was willing to do anything to get there.

“No problem babe, you know that,”

“And if Jordan can’t go I’ll try to,” Steve added from his place on the couch as Shelley stood up to put a DVD in. She gave him a grateful smile and thanked him as well, before he and Shelley put Mike, Luke, Jon, and Britt to bed. Once they were back and comfortable we began to watch The Bourne Legacy.

“Is Cam asleep?” Shelley whispered about ten minutes after the movie had finished. I nodded, adjusting her sleeping form in my arms – she’d bee asleep for the last twenty minutes or so. Lauren had awoken and excused herself to go to bed not long after the movie had started. Knowing Cam she’d probably grill me tomorrow wondering how it all ended, which would be amusing in itself.

“I’ll go tuck her in,” Steve offered, standing up and coming over to us, picking her up as if she were his own little girl. I swallowed hard, realizing that this meant they wanted to talk to me about something. Steve wasn’t usually as intimidating to me as if he’d been her real dad, but sometimes he was pretty damn close.

“Jordan, relax,” Steve chuckled, ruffling my hair as he sat back down beside his wife. I let out a long breath, unable to shake my nerves.

“Jordan, we just wanted to talk to you about Cam, you really can relax,” Shelley reassured me, and I managed a smile for them.

“What’s she mean to you?” Steve bluntly asked, leaving me floundering for words. How could I find the words to explain that she was everything to me?

“The world, Steve,” was about as expressive as I got, which made my face heat up. I’d never really been one who was good with words, and now it was biting me in the ass.

“I mean, I don’t really know how to explain it,” I continued, hoping to make more sense than I had. “I love her, I love everything about her, and she’s the only person I want to spend the rest of my life with.”

“How are you doing with all… this?” Shelley softly asked, and I shrugged.

“It’s hard. Shit, I mean, to know what she did to herself… it hurts like hell knowing that’s how she felt and she didn’t come to me about it. It sucks that I feel like I’m helpless – I hate it. But I know she’ll get better, and I’m going to do whatever it takes to make sure she’s okay,” I replied, and they both nodded.

“We just wanted to make sure you didn’t feel like you had an obligation to stay while this was going on. We never questioned that you love her Jordan—” Steve cut me off before continuing. “But sometimes the love two people have isn’t strong enough for situations like this. We just want to make sure you’re still here for all the right reasons, because it would crush Cam otherwise, and we want what’s best for her.”

“No, I’m here because I love her, not because I feel like I have to be. I mean yeah, sometimes I want to just leave and try to get it off my mind, but never leave like that. Sometimes when she was unconscious I just wanted to up and leave because maybe it would make it hurt less to not have to see her for a while, but I never even considered breaking up with her, she means more to me than that. I know we’ll make it work,” I told them, and once more they nodded.

“I want to marry her,” I blurted, shocked that the words had just came out. I sat there, eyes wide and heart pounding as I waited for some kind of reaction from them.

“I told you Steve,” Shelley giggled, and he sighed.

“No offense to you Jordan – but I was sure you hadn’t pulled that much of a 180 already,” he chuckled. I was still frozen, not sure how to gauge their reactions.

“I’m not surprised Jordan – the way you two are together, you just kind of… complete each other. I’m glad that you’re thinking long term with her, it’d be a shame for you two to fall short of that,” Shelley explained to me with a smile. I nodded then, still feeling ridiculous for my unexplained outburst.

“Well, I think I’m going to head to bed,” she announced a few minutes later, and Steve followed her. He paused beside the loveseat though, and put his hand on my shoulder.

“I don’t know if it means anything to you Jordan, but I’m glad that you want to marry her. She looks up to you like you’re the whole world, and I just want to see my little girl safe and happy. She’s both of those things with you,” he told me, a teary smile on his face before he followed his wife to their room.

I went to our room, stripping out of my jeans and T-shirt before crawling in beside Cam, who curled into me in her sleep. I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her tight to my chest and kissing the top of her head before I laid my head down on my pillow.

All I could think about was the ring hiding in my closet, and wonder how I would ever man up enough to get down on one knee.