I'll Be Right Beside You

Jordan

“Come on babe, take a deep breath, it’ll be fine,” I coaxed, watching Cam all but shake in her skates, frozen in the tunnel, about twenty feet from the end of the, and the ice. Rosalia had finally given her doctor the ok about playing, and it only took about four days after that for Dan to give her the news that she’d be out on the ice with us against New York.

“No, what if it’s just like last time Jordan?” she asked, her eyes wide with fear, clutching her stick for dear life.

“It won’t be,” I soothed her, giving her elbow a soft tug, trying to get her into action. She dug in her heels, making me sigh.

“Get your ass out to that ice right now, before I kick your ass and tell Dan that you aren’t ready to play,” I ordered, and saw her bite her lip, realizing just how truly frightened she really was. So much for the tough love act, now I felt like an ass for barking at her like that.

“Babe it will be okay, honest,” I insisted, and saw that she nearly had tears in her eyes. I pulled her in for a hug, and then gave her a fairly rough push toward the ice. I felt like the biggest douchebag in the world, but I knew she needed some tough love on this, because she would hate herself for not going out there.

She stepped out onto the ice, and the rink went nearly silent, before one section of the arena began cheering at the top of their lungs. The guys all grinned as Cam gaped at the couple hundred girls – ranging in age from high school to probably my mom’s age – wearing Bates’ jerseys, holding signs, with their faces painted and everything. Finally a smile began to find its place on her lips as the rest of the arena began to cheer as well. She gave the group a wave and a little salute, so they somehow increased their volume, and then she started some laps. All of the guys gave her a little bump or patted the top of her helmet, letting her know they were there for her. I looked across the ice and met my brother’s gaze, both of us giving each other a brief nod; we’d get to talk after the game, but right now it was strictly business.

The game started all right, and I’d known that Dan would leave me, Steve, and Cam sitting for a bit until we could get a feel for how the game was going, and who to put us out there against. We were both all but vibrating with excitement, and once we got out there for our first shift it passed way too quickly. We hopped back over the boards and sat down, Cam’s cheeks pink from exertion and excitement. Neal gave her a bump with his elbow, his grin wide as he took in her appearance.
“Feel good to be back?” he asked, and she nodded enthusiastically.

“Fucking fantastic,” she replied with a wide grin, getting a laugh out of him and a smile from Dan as we watched.

It wasn’t until the second period that anything big happened. The game was still tied, nobody having scored yet. Cam chased the puck into the corner, and before I could say anything saw a blue sweater go in. I held my breath even as I dug in harder to get to her, seeing a shoulder drop and my girlfriend get hit into the boards. It was a clean hit, but the entire arena went dead silent.

Then I realized it was my goddamn brother who hit her.

“Marc! What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” I hollered, and he turned to me and shrugged, the puck having been blown dead when Lundqvist made a diving cover of it.

“Playing hockey Jord – get over it,” he replied, skating past me without so much as a second look. Cam skated over then, her eyes glistening and a beaming smile on her face.

“Finally! Some REAL hockey!” she cheered, before realizing I wasn’t quite so excited that she all but got creamed by my six-foot-four older brother.

“Lighten up Jord – we can’t be girlfriend/boyfriend on the ice; I’ve got to be just your teammate. And to be honest? It’s nice knowing I can be a hockey player again,” she said, tapping my shin with her hockey stick as she skated toward the bench, giving Marc a friendly little bump of a check as she went by him. He chuckled, and Stepan said something to him before laughing as well. I shook my head, before slowly skating towards the bench after her. Women are hard to understand in the first place, but Cam was a whole other kind of hard to understand, that’s for sure.

As soon as I reached the bench I heard the commotion of our teammates wondering if she was all right, offering to fight Marc, etcetera, but Cam shook it all off. I caught the proud look on Dan and Steve’s faces, and realized that they were genuinely happy about what had happened. I couldn’t be the only person on our goddamn team who wasn’t pleased about her getting hit, but it sure was starting to look like it.

“You did a good job of absorbing that Cam,” Steve said, tapping her shin with his hockey stick, she grinned, her mouth guard halfway out of her mouth and somehow reminding me of Patrick Kane for an instant. Dan patted the top of her helmet as he walked to the other end of the bench to follow the play. I sat where I was, stewing a little bit, when Cam nudged me with her elbow.

“Jordy, you all right?” she asked, her voice soft. I sighed, and then shrugged, not sure what to tell her, and not sure if there was a camera on us or not.

“Please not this again Jordy,” she nearly pleaded, and again I shrugged, not knowing how to reply.

“Jordan, listen. I CAN’T be your girlfriend on the ice, okay? You can’t get mad when I get hit, and you CANNOT step in if I get in a fight, okay? Do you do that for anybody else on this team? No. So please don’t do it for me. I know you don’t like it, but if anybody is going to take me seriously you have to back off a bit, all right?” she said, and it felt like she’d turned and slapped me in the face.

“Excuse me? So what, I’m just supposed to fucking sit back and watch people twice your size beat the shit out of you? I don’t fucking think so,” I growled, and she leaned back, her eyes wide from my tone of voice.

“Excuse me? Jordan, I’m being serious. I can’t be your girlfriend on the ice! We talked about this last season,” she told me through gritted teeth, thoroughly pissed off.

“Yeah, and I was so tickled pink about it before, wasn’t I?” I shot back, and then realized we were nearly yelling at each other. I turned to face the ice then, not wanting to cause a big scene that media would notice, or get us in shit from Dan.

“Well you’re going to have to deal with it Jordan,”

“Would you just deal with it in my shoes? Huh?” I yelled, and all of the players sitting on our bench turned and stared, embarrassing Cam, but while her cheeks flushed she never once backed down.

“Yeah, if it meant your dream and your career were on the line, I would, because I love you and I know how important it is to you,” she forced the statement past her teeth, and then turned her attention to the ice, obviously done with the conversation, but I wasn’t.

“No. You don’t get to do that,” I told her, putting a hand on her shoulder and turning her to face me. Her glare was strong, but the look I was getting from Steve was a hell of a lot scarier.
“Do what?”

“Turn this all on me like I’m some fucking asshole! I love you Cam, and I don’t want to get in the way of your dreams, but there’s no way I’m going to sit on my ass and let some guy throw punches at you! I get it, you want to be taken seriously, but think about it!” her beautiful blue eyes were dark and stormy with anger, and I hated seeing that anger directed at me, but I was seeing enough red that it didn’t matter.

“I’m not trying to do that,” she hissed.

“Why is it such a bad thing for me to care about your wellbeing huh? Am I supposed to just turn a fucking blind eye when somebody lays you out on the ice? It’s not safe for you,” I insisted, and her eyes narrowed.

“Not safe for me? It’s just as unsafe for anybody else out there! You gonna start stepping in on everybody on this team under six feet?” she shot back at me, and I let out a growl.

“Cam, that’s different and you damn well know it!”

“HOW? How is it any fucking different?” she demanded, and I let out a frustrated sound.

“Because it is!”

“Well maybe we should step back from this and talk about it when we’re thinking clearer,” she told me, her voice an unnatural, dead calm. I was still fuming, but as she turned away from me I didn’t force her to continue the conversation. Instead, I stared out at the ice, not really seeing anything. Suddenly I realized that Cam wasn’t beside me, and saw her and James out on the ice, and felt my brow furrow, because there was no situation where they ever played on the same line. I also saw Geno out there, and then realized just what was going on. She’d asked Dan to change the lines. That infuriated me more than our fight had; we were both adults, we could play on the same line rather than running away from it.