‹ Prequel: Who Wouldn't Want To Be Me
Status: On Hiatus
I'll Be Right Beside You
Thirty One
Another week had gone by, and I’d done my best to try and give Cam her space, and I’d made a point of keeping my mouth shut whenever she took a hit in a game, even though I was cringing in the inside and balling my fists wanting to punch whoever did it. I couldn’t keep up with this, and I knew it, but at the same time I didn’t want to crawl on my knees and beg for her to forgive me when she was just as much at fault for not understanding as I was.
“Jordan, can I talk to you?” I swallowed hard as I heard Steve’s voice. I nodded, continuing to tape a new stick and stay seated; afraid my knees would shake if I stood up.
“What the hell is going on?” he demanded, and the few guys left in the locker room went dead quiet, feeling awkward as hell, I assumed. Sidney’s face paled, as well as James’s.
“We’re just in a bit of an argument right now…” I mumbled, and the little shove he gave to my shoulder caught me off guard.
“A bit of an argument? That’s what you call yelling at each other during a game? A bit of an argument means her staying elsewhere so she won’t have to run into you? Bull fucking shit Jordan. Now you tell me what the hell is going on here before I kick your ass for hurting my little girl,” I floundered for a few moments, and wondered just how much I was going to hurt tomorrow.
“It’s the same thing as last season,” I started, cursing the fact that my voice was shaking as badly as the rest of me was. Steve was standing in front of me, his arms crossed over his chest and looking every bit the part of pissed off father.
“She’s pissed at me that I got upset about her getting hit. I know we didn’t handle it the way we should have and I’m definitely not proud of losing it like that but that’s what happened, and I’ve been trying not to say anything but I can’t stand watching her get smacked around! Or even worse, when she gets pissed off and decides to fight somebody!” I burst, and he shook his head.
“Look, Jordan I get it. I do. But do you think she likes watching you take a hit or fight? You need to open your eyes a bit more, because while you think she’s just not understanding your side of it you need to realize there’s a hell of a lot more to her side of the story too,” he told me, and I felt my cheeks heat up.
“I-I guess I—”
“If I didn’t know how she felt about you Jordan, I swear to God I would have messed you up as soon as the game was over, so you damn well fix this before she gets hurt any more,” his voice was a snarl, the warning there and all too present for me to handle. I swallowed hard again, hoping to keep my voice from shaking too much. I felt like I was back in high school, getting raked over the coals by some girl’s father.
“I want to talk to her Steve, I just don’t know if she wants to talk to me,” I finally admitted.
“Well if you don’t man up and ask you’ll never know, will you?” he asked, getting short with me before he left the locker room. I took a long breath, feeling light headed and almost nauseous at the prospect. What if she yelled in my face and told me she didn’t want anything to do with me?
“You know he’s right,” I flinched at James’s quiet statement, before feeling my anger flare. It wouldn’t have bothered me for him to say that had he not been the person she ran to after we fought.
“I didn’t ask for your two cents,” I snapped at him, before standing up and walking out.
“Jord?” I turned as I heard Sidney, and he walked down the hall to catch up to me. He ran a hand through his hair before replacing his hat on his head, something he always did when he was nervous or felt uncomfortable.
“I hate to say it, but James and Steve are right Jord. You really have to look at how she’s feeling right now, because I can guarantee it’s about as shitty as you feel,” he quietly told me, and I let out a groan, leaning against the wall and sliding down until I was sitting on the floor. This was why I’d never been big on real relationships, I was shitty at them and I just didn’t know what to do.
“I know Sid, I just don’t know what to do,” I whispered, and he slowly sat down beside me, his hands resting on his knees, keeping them pulled to his chest just as mine were.
“You really do just need to talk to her. Call her maybe, because then if she’s not ready to talk with you she doesn’t feel cornered, you know? I can talk to Becka for you if you want,” he suggested.
“No, because Becka might get mad at you for trying to help me out. I’m pretty sure she hates my guts now,” I told him.
“No, she just… isn’t your biggest fan right now,” he tried to reassure me, but I chuckled.
“Don’t even lie to yourself man; if she could she would kill me with her own two hands and bury me where no one would ever find me,” he stuttered for a moment before sighing, knowing that I really was right.
“Okay, okay, whatever. But seriously, call her; I hate seeing the two of you like this,” he said, and with that he got up and started to make his way home. I stood up, double-checked that I’d grabbed my keys and my cell phone, before doing the same.
“Jordan, can I talk to you?” I swallowed hard as I heard Steve’s voice. I nodded, continuing to tape a new stick and stay seated; afraid my knees would shake if I stood up.
“What the hell is going on?” he demanded, and the few guys left in the locker room went dead quiet, feeling awkward as hell, I assumed. Sidney’s face paled, as well as James’s.
“We’re just in a bit of an argument right now…” I mumbled, and the little shove he gave to my shoulder caught me off guard.
“A bit of an argument? That’s what you call yelling at each other during a game? A bit of an argument means her staying elsewhere so she won’t have to run into you? Bull fucking shit Jordan. Now you tell me what the hell is going on here before I kick your ass for hurting my little girl,” I floundered for a few moments, and wondered just how much I was going to hurt tomorrow.
“It’s the same thing as last season,” I started, cursing the fact that my voice was shaking as badly as the rest of me was. Steve was standing in front of me, his arms crossed over his chest and looking every bit the part of pissed off father.
“She’s pissed at me that I got upset about her getting hit. I know we didn’t handle it the way we should have and I’m definitely not proud of losing it like that but that’s what happened, and I’ve been trying not to say anything but I can’t stand watching her get smacked around! Or even worse, when she gets pissed off and decides to fight somebody!” I burst, and he shook his head.
“Look, Jordan I get it. I do. But do you think she likes watching you take a hit or fight? You need to open your eyes a bit more, because while you think she’s just not understanding your side of it you need to realize there’s a hell of a lot more to her side of the story too,” he told me, and I felt my cheeks heat up.
“I-I guess I—”
“If I didn’t know how she felt about you Jordan, I swear to God I would have messed you up as soon as the game was over, so you damn well fix this before she gets hurt any more,” his voice was a snarl, the warning there and all too present for me to handle. I swallowed hard again, hoping to keep my voice from shaking too much. I felt like I was back in high school, getting raked over the coals by some girl’s father.
“I want to talk to her Steve, I just don’t know if she wants to talk to me,” I finally admitted.
“Well if you don’t man up and ask you’ll never know, will you?” he asked, getting short with me before he left the locker room. I took a long breath, feeling light headed and almost nauseous at the prospect. What if she yelled in my face and told me she didn’t want anything to do with me?
“You know he’s right,” I flinched at James’s quiet statement, before feeling my anger flare. It wouldn’t have bothered me for him to say that had he not been the person she ran to after we fought.
“I didn’t ask for your two cents,” I snapped at him, before standing up and walking out.
“Jord?” I turned as I heard Sidney, and he walked down the hall to catch up to me. He ran a hand through his hair before replacing his hat on his head, something he always did when he was nervous or felt uncomfortable.
“I hate to say it, but James and Steve are right Jord. You really have to look at how she’s feeling right now, because I can guarantee it’s about as shitty as you feel,” he quietly told me, and I let out a groan, leaning against the wall and sliding down until I was sitting on the floor. This was why I’d never been big on real relationships, I was shitty at them and I just didn’t know what to do.
“I know Sid, I just don’t know what to do,” I whispered, and he slowly sat down beside me, his hands resting on his knees, keeping them pulled to his chest just as mine were.
“You really do just need to talk to her. Call her maybe, because then if she’s not ready to talk with you she doesn’t feel cornered, you know? I can talk to Becka for you if you want,” he suggested.
“No, because Becka might get mad at you for trying to help me out. I’m pretty sure she hates my guts now,” I told him.
“No, she just… isn’t your biggest fan right now,” he tried to reassure me, but I chuckled.
“Don’t even lie to yourself man; if she could she would kill me with her own two hands and bury me where no one would ever find me,” he stuttered for a moment before sighing, knowing that I really was right.
“Okay, okay, whatever. But seriously, call her; I hate seeing the two of you like this,” he said, and with that he got up and started to make his way home. I stood up, double-checked that I’d grabbed my keys and my cell phone, before doing the same.
♠ ♠ ♠
A wee bit more insight into Jordan's stubbornness about trying to talk things out... I hope you guys enjoy the chapter (Sorry it's so short!)