I'll Be Right Beside You

Cam

“James, has anyone ever told you that you snore like a goddamn Mack truck?” I complained. We were heading out to morning skate, and I’d had a hellish time trying to get any sleep last night. Between worrying about how I’d deal with being around Jordan so much and James’s snoring I was severely lacking in the rest department.

“No…?” he trailed off, looking at me like he wasn’t sure he should believe me.

“Well, you do,” I informed him, rubbing my eyes and yawning as I sat down on my bed to put my shoes on. James blushed slightly, and ran a hand through his hair. That first night I’d stayed at his house he’d been silent – like, quiet enough I’d checked if he was still breathing, but on this trip… a whole different story.

“Sorry about that… I’ll get some of those nasal strips or something, see if that’ll help,” he suggested, and I gave him a thankful smile.

“I’ll even buy them for you – seeing as I’m the one being a diva about it,” I offered, but he shook his head.

“No, you’re probably the only one who’s actually had the guts to say something about it,” he argued, and we were laughing as we headed down to the lobby to meet up with the rest of the team. Just my luck, Geno and Jordan were getting in the elevator with us. I’d missed the giant Russian’s close friendship, but I wasn’t ready to try to have any kind of relationship with Jordan. Even though I missed him like an arm or a leg, trying to just be friends now would mess with my head even more than he already was.

“Hey Cam – good sleep?” Geno asked, and I shook my head, pointing to James with my thumb.

“No – somebody here snores like crazy,” I told him, and Geno chuckled.

“I know, is not good,” he agreed, and James rolled his eyes as he stayed glued to his cellphone. Jordan was silent the entire time that Geno and I talked, right up until we were with everybody else. Steve gave me a questioning look, and I replied with a tired shrug that had him making his way over to me in no time.

“You okay sweetheart?” he asked.

“I don’t know right now Steve,” I mumbled, and he ruffled my hair softly.

“You’ll be okay, it’s just a few days. Maybe this will be good for the two of you, you never know,” I shook my head, knowing this would be a rougher-than-hell road trip.

“Morning!” Marc waved happily in my direction, as did Sid, TK, and Tanger, and I returned it with a bit of a yawn, before seeing the slightly pained look on Jordan’s face. Immediately I felt awful again, like I was going to be sick. I still don’t think it had completely sunk in, that I’d broken up with him. I tried not to think about it too much, because after all we were supposed to be thinking hockey, not anything else.

I managed a weak smile when Jordan gave me a tiny wave, obviously trying to be civil in front of everybody, and I nodded in return, feeling Steve’s arm around my shoulders tighten, and James put his hand on my back reassuringly.

“I’ll be okay,” I whispered, although I was sure neither of them believed me. Hell, why would they when I didn’t even believe me?

We soon began to file toward the bus, and again I sat with James, putting my headphones in and trying to get myself under control on the drive to the rink.

“Bates? Everything all right?” Dan pulled me aside, and I nodded. I knew he was trying to make his concern seem professional, but it was easy to see he was worried about what was going on between the two of us. Jordan wasn’t really the type to get down, and maybe I wasn’t holding myself together as well as I’d originally thought.

“Yeah, it will be. Just still a little raw, I guess,” I admitted, and he patted my shoulder.

“You’ll be all right. It seems like the end of the world when you’re so young, but you’ll look back on it and it won’t be so bad,” he tried to comfort me, but it did just the opposite. I wasn’t sure I’d ever get over Jordan, let alone be able to look back on this as a good thing.

I ran myself almost into the ground at practice, giving it everything I had in an attempt to distract myself. The guys noticed, but didn’t say anything, until Steve quietly asked me what was going on.

“I just need to get my mind off of it all right now Steve - this is the best way I know how,” I replied, and he raised an eyebrow, which let me know what he was thinking.

“No, it’s nothing like what happened before – this is just the fact that I need to figure out how to get him out of my head long enough to play a decent hockey game,” I sighed, and he pulled me in for another quick hug.

“It’ll get easier over time sweetheart, but it’ll be really hard for a while,” I nodded, and then we headed toward the bench to sit down for a minute. Dan had called practice to a close a while ago, and as soon as Steve had finished getting ready he’d come out to the ice to talk to me while I waited for everyone to get showered up.

“Steve… what if I’ve made a huge mistake?” I quietly asked, letting him know my biggest fear as of right now.

“I don’t know what to tell you Cam; I don’t know whether you have or not, and you and him are the only people who will be able to know,” he answered, not making me feel any better. I nodded, and when I saw Dan give me a wave from down the tunnel stood up to go and shower and everything.

“I’m sorry I’m not more help here kiddo – you know I just want to see you happy, with or without a boyfriend,” Steve added, and I managed a smile for him.

“I know Steve – I don’t know what I’d do without you and Shelley,” I agreed, and he grinned back.

“Well, go get showered up – I’m taking you out for lunch,” he decided, and I couldn’t help but laugh as he gave me a quick push into the locker room. I showered and changed fairly quickly, still finding it weird that I could wear women’s clothes at the rink. A nice pair of jeans and a nice tank top underneath my new pea coat style jacket, and my usual shoes. I met up with the rest of the guys, and nobody even teased me about being slow or being the last one ready to go. I think Dan must have said something about it since there wasn’t an additional away change room at this rink.

We all rode the bus back to the hotel, and we were able to go our separate ways for some lunch, but Dan made it very clear we were to be back at the hotel by two o’clock. Steve waved me over, and I saw Geno and James standing and waiting with him.

“You guys are coming too?” I asked, and they both nodded. James quickly fell into step with me, as per usual for us, and we all chatted about unimportant things as we walked down the street to a little café – Steve obviously knowing where he was going.

“This place has the best Cheesesteak sandwiches,” James gushed, excited as we walked in the doors. I shook my head at him, to which he pretended to pout and then hip checked me lightly, right into somebody.