I'll Be Right Beside You

“Linda, it’s Cam,” I took a deep breath, trying to keep the tears at bay. They’d been there, waiting to escape for the past hour or two, ever since those three little words had come out of Jordan’s mouth.

“Please don’t leave me here Cam,” he worried as I got up to head for the door.

“I won’t; I’m just going to find you something to eat, all right?” I managed a small smile for him, which he weakly returned.

“I love you,” I froze, halfway out the door when I heard his voice. I shot him a smile back, before nearly collapsing to the floor once I was around the corner.

How he could remember me but not any of his time in the NHL baffled me. And it scared me; he had no recollection of us breaking up, and I wasn’t sure if I could handle him telling me he loved me. It would break my heart all over again for him to get his memory back and take it back. That was even harder than him saying those words to me in his car before he blacked out. I’d been so scared, and the way he’d slumped against the seat had sent me into full panic mode, because I couldn’t even find his pulse in my terror.

“Cam! It’s so nice to hear from you!” I could hear the excitement in her voice, and knew that she thought I was calling for all the wrong reasons. I hadn’t really spoken to her or Henry since Jordan and I had broken up.

“It’s nice to hear from you too – sorry it’s been a while,” I allowed, and heard her laugh.

“So, has that thick-headed son of mine come around yet?” she asked, and a sob got halfway out. Why would she use that choice of words, today of all times?

“Cam? Sweetheart what’s wrong?”

“Linda… you and Henry need to get down here… Jordan… Jordan’s in the hospital,” I choked out, sitting down on a bench just outside of the Emergency doors. I’d slipped away while he was asleep, knowing his family needed to know.

“What? Oh my God, is he okay?”

“He was in a car accident; somebody ran a red light and hit his car; he’s got a bad concussion and a fracture above his eyebrow and lots of stitches, but he’s awake and alert,” I explained, and heard her trying to keep from sobbing.

“Sorry about the stupid thick-headed comment,” she apologized, and I almost could have laughed had we not been talking about something so serious.

“And he’s got amnesia,” I continued, taking a breath to try and steady myself. “He has no recollection of the past seven years or so, Linda. As far as he knows he’s in Thunder Bay and somehow hurt himself working on the farm with Henry,”

“No… sweetheart, how’re you…?”

“He remembers me,” I whispered, fisting tears off of my cheeks as I told her. She was silent for a minute or so, both of us trying to keep ourselves together.

“What does he remember of you?”

“That we’re together. That things are basically serious – he told me he loved me when I went to get him something to eat… he has no idea of what all went on…” now I was crying, unable to keep the tears at bay any longer.

“We’ll get there as soon as we can Cam; thank you so, so much. I know this can’t be easy on you, you don’t have to stay there with him if it’s too hard,”

“I can’t leave him here Linda; you know how he is about hospitals in the first place. Becka drove Claude to the rink for me, I just don’t know how I’ll explain all of this to him,”

“You can tell him about Jordan’s amnesia and concussion; he’ll understand sweetheart, he really will. Sorry to pry, but you and Claude… is it serious?” she asked, and I bit my lip.

“I don’t know. Nothing like me and Jordan, and I don’t think it ever will be,” I admitted, voicing my fear for the first time.

“Sweetheart, I’m so sorry – I wish I knew how to fix all of this,”

“Me too,” I told her, and soon after we hung up; she was going to phone Marc and I would phone Jared. I took a few minutes to calm down before speed-dialing Jared’s cell phone.

“Hey Cam! Shouldn’t you be going for a nap right away?” was his greeting.

“I don’t think I’m going to be playing tonight,” I told him, and his silence voiced his confusion.

“What? Did you get hurt at practice today? I swear to God if Claude has anything to do with this I’ll kick his ass into next week,” I couldn’t help but chuckle at him; he’d become like my brother in far too many ways.

“No, it’s not Claude… it’s Jordan,” I said, and heard more silence.

“He’s in the hospital Jare; he was in a car accident, and it’s pretty serious,” I told him, and heard him take a shaky breath.

“Is he…?”

“He’s conscious and everything, but he’s concussed; his balance has gone to hell – he can’t walk right now – he’s got a fracture above his eyebrow, lots of cuts, that sort of thing, and he’s got some amnesia,” I explained.

“Amnesia?”

“Yeah,”

“W-what doesn’t he remember?” he asked, suddenly sounding like a little kid. I hated to be the one to break this news to Jared, but I knew I’d be a mess of tears trying to explain to Eric.

“The past seven years or so; he doesn’t know he plays in the NHL, he doesn’t know he’s in Pittsburgh… he told me he thinks he must have hit his head helping Henry out on the farm with something,” I answered, and heard Jared swallow hard.

“And how did he take you being there?”

“He remembers us being together… it makes no sense, but he does. Jared he… he told me he loved me. He said it before he blacked out too, before he lost his memory,” I felt the tears starting again, but I knew Jared would understand.

“He still does Cam; it’s not just the amnesia talking,” he quietly assured me, sounding in tears himself.

“I don’t know if I can handle it Jare; as far as he remembers we’re still together and things are the way they were around our anniversary; he remembers bits and pieces of stuff, but somehow it hasn’t occurred to him that it doesn’t all add up. He doesn’t know about Claude, and I don’t think I have the guts to tell him. He’s scared Jared,” I knew I was making a scene in front of the hospital, but I was too far gone to care.

“Cam, listen to me; if it’s too hard we’ll all understand. I’m getting a ticket to get out there as soon as I can; I’m going to tell Eric as soon as we get off the phone. If it’s too much just go home, and I’ll come see you when I get there, okay?”

“I can’t leave him there Jared,”

“Maybe watch a movie with him, something simple like that should keep him occupied, right? And talk to Claude as soon as you can, you need to get this straightened out with him,” I nodded, thankful that Jared could think clear enough for the both of us.

“Thanks Jare,” I whispered.

“No problem Cam. I’ll probably see you later today, all right?”

“Okay, bye,” I hung up, taking a deep breath before walking back into the hospital.