I'll Be Right Beside You

After a long day at the hospital, I woke up feeling calm and relaxed – and then I opened my eyes. I saw a mess of the Staal boys all crammed onto a small hospital bed, and then realized I was cuddled up to Jordan. I shut my eyes again and let my head drop to his chest, taking a deep breath. I was going to end up making this even harder on myself, and I knew it. My legs had long since fallen asleep with Marc’s frame on them, and Jared was snoozing with his head back and mouth wide open, snoring loudly.

“Hey, how’d you sleep?” I looked up to see Henry poke his head around the curtain in the room.

“Okay; what time is it?” I asked, yawning.

“It’s about ten forty-five; I don’t know how Linda convinced the nurses to let all of you stay in here past visiting hours,” he chuckled, sitting down in the chair beside the bed. He was quiet for a minute, before he looked up at me and began to speak.

“Thank you so much for being here Cam; you have no idea what it means to us that you’re here,” I took Jordan’s hand, running my thumb over the back of his hand.

“I think I do Henry, and you know that I wouldn’t just let him go through this by himself,” I answered, knowing it was the honest to God truth. Even if we had absolutely hated each other I would have still checked on him and made sure he was all right.

“It means the world to us Cam; you know you’re still like family to all of us,” he insisted, and I nodded, letting my head fall back against Jordan, a place that still felt so comfortable even though months had passed since we’d been together. I think Henry noticed the way it felt so easy to just be with Jordan, as long as I didn’t think about it. About where we were, about what had happened to us, without all of this.

“That means a lot to me Henry – I really miss all of you guys… Jordan included,” I whispered, feeling the tears welling up once again. Henry reached over and put his hand on my shoulder for a moment, giving me a small smile.
“Then tell him that… once he knows what all’s gone on,” he softly told me, and I managed a smile for him.
“Thanks Henry,” was all I could get out, and he sat back down in his chair, turning the radio on quietly and opening a book as I tried to get back to sleep. I shifted and squirmed for a bit, trying to find a comfortable way to lay with two legs asleep, before realizing that I’d woken Jordan up. He looked down at me with those big blue eyes, and it just about killed me that he looked at me the way he used to.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, but he shook his head slightly.

“It’s all right babe; what’s on your mind?” he asked, his voice equally as soft as he softly rubbed my back. The motion was off-kilter and slightly erratic as his hand shook, making it feel strange, but I knew it was his current state of co-ordination doing it, and he seemed to be getting better at moving his hands and arms as the day had progressed.

“I don’t know… too much?” I offered, not wanting to get into the whole mess when he didn’t know that he’d lost a lot of his memory.

“It’s okay babe – we can talk tomorrow, all right?” he suggested, and I nodded, content to leave him with this thought if I could help get him back to sleep. He pressed a kiss to my forehead then, and I closed my eyes and relished the quiet moment that we had. I missed this.

“Sure,” I agreed, and felt him relax some more, pulling me closer into him and holding me tight.

“Can I ask you something?” he spoke up a few minutes later, taking the care to whisper.

“Sure,”

“Why didn’t any of you guys tell me that they’d flown me out to Pittsburgh? I mean, I didn’t think it was that serious, but…”

“Because we didn’t want you worrying sweetheart,” I insisted, smoothing his hair back and avoiding eye contact. He’d know I was lying through my teeth if I looked him in the eyes, and the boys had decided they’d wait until we knew he was totally stable to say anything about what he didn’t remember. And especially until Linda was here.

“I’m sorry we didn’t tell you right away Jordy, I just thought that with everything else…” he quieted me as I began yet another struggle with goddamn tears, running a hand through my hair gently and kissing my forehead.

“I understand Cam, you did what you thought was best, and it’s just because you care; I get it. I’d do the same thing for you in a heartbeat,” he whispered, and with that the tears won. I buried my face into his chest, letting him hold me, and I felt Henry put a hand on my shoulder, letting me know he was there.

“Go to sleep sweetheart; you’ll feel better in the morning,” Jordan whispered, and I nodded, taking a deep breath.

“Thanks Jordy,”

“I love you Cam,” he whispered softly as I closed my eyes, and I resisted the urge to let more tears fall as I tried to force myself to sleep.