I'll Be Right Beside You

Jordan

Cam worked her ass off during our practices, as if she was trying to prove herself to everyone all over again. I worried that she was going to over-stress herself, like what her uncle had told us about last year. I know Steve was just as concerned, but neither of us said anything to her, because we knew she’d get offended.

After a particularly grueling practice I all but collapsed at my stall, opting to sit for a moment rather than immediately take my gear off and shower.

“Is Cam all right?” Sid asked, catching me by surprise. I shrugged, and started untying my skates.

“I don’t know,” I admitted, and Steve put a comforting hand on my shoulder.

“She just seems…”

“Off?” Kris supplied Sid with the word, and he nodded. I exhaled slowly before looking up to address him. TK and Flower both moved closer to join the conversation, making me feel nervous about it.

“She’s trying to make a point that she deserves to be here, she’s feeling like she has to work even harder now because everyone knows she’s a girl,” I told them, and a few of the guys looked guilty. Pascal, Matty, Paul and Brooks had really taken the news of her being a girl hard, and I knew it bothered her.

“What do you mean?” he asked, and I took a moment to try and figure out how the hell to explain it when I wasn’t a hundred percent sure either.

“It’s just… because now everybody knows she’s a girl she thinks she has to work harder for people to take her seriously as an athlete in the NHL, and she wants to prove to you guys that she deserves to be here,” I explained, feeling it was the best that I could do.

“She was insane at practice today,” Craig allowed, and Pascal nodded.

“She’s still just as good, if not better than she was last season,” Brooks spoke up, and I shrugged.

“It’s how she looks at things, and I don’t know how to make her see how good she is,” I admitted, and Steve gave me a sad smile.

“Maybe the game tomorrow night will help?” TK suggested, and I just shrugged.

“As long as they treat her the way they did before… otherwise I’m worried it’ll get worse,” his expression dropped and he slowly nodded. The locker room was quiet after that, and once I was out of the shower I ran into Cam walking to the locker room from the ice. I pulled her into a hug, which she slowly returned, before I let her go into the locker room to change and shower. She was in and out in under ten minutes, and as we walked into the player’s lounge a lot of the guys made a point of complimenting her on how hard she was working, which made her quiet and almost embarrassed.

When Pascal and Craig both complimented her, she managed a shy thank you before we left the arena.

“Did you say something to the guys?” she asked, and I stumbled over my words.

“No, why?”

“I just don’t understand why they were all saying that stuff,” she shrugged, looking out the window. I reached over and took her hand, rubbing my thumb gently over the back of her hand.

“You were incredible today sweetheart, that’s all it was,” I assured her, and I saw her blush, though she continued to stare out the window. I parked beside her Alero, and followed her up to her apartment. Becka was at home for once, and both of us were surprised when we saw Sid.

“Hey,” they both welcomed us, and it took us a second longer than it should have to reply.

“Don’t look so surprised – if you two didn’t hole up at your place all the time Staal you’d know Sid comes over a lot after practice when I’m not in class,” she informed us as he came to the kitchen, pressing a kiss to her cheek as she handed him a plate with a sandwich on it.

“We don’t hole up,” Cam argued, and Becka just raised an eyebrow at her before leaning back against Sid, who had one arm around her waist and was eating with the other.

“You do a little bit,” Sid admitted, making both of us snort.

“Sorry I can’t really go anywhere right now without getting hounded,” she rolled her eyes, and both of them grimaced. That wasn’t the reaction any of us had anticipated, and after a moment and a sigh Cam headed to her bedroom.

“I’m sorry, I had no idea…” Sid apologized, but I shook my head.

“I didn’t think she’d take it like that either… I think this is bothering her more than she’s letting on to any of us,” I sighed, picking at a piece of tape on the counter. I felt Becka’s hand on my arm, but refused to look up. I hated being pushed out, especially when Cam was hurting so much.

“She’s not doing it on purpose Jordan, you know how she is. She hates feeling like she’s bothering you, especially when you do so much for her already,” Becka explained, and all I could do was shrug. I knew that’s how she felt, but it didn’t make it any easier.

“It’ll be all right Gronk, she’ll come around, she’s just under a lot of stress right now,” Sid joined in, and I just shrugged once more before taking a step back.

“I’m gonna go see if she’s okay,” I mumbled, before heading to her bedroom. She was curled up on her bed in one of my hoodies that had made their home in her closet. I laid down beside her, pulling her into me and burying my face in her hair.

“You okay?” she asked, pushing herself up on her elbows to look at me.

“I’m fine,” I hoarsely told her, but she cupped my cheeks and made me look at her, and she looked worried about me.

“Jordy,”

“I’m fine sweetheart, honest; I’m not the one going through hell and back right now, don’t worry about me,” I insisted. Cam shook her head, her thumb softly stroking my cheek.

“But it affects you too Jordy, and you know I worry about you,” she whispered. I buried my face back against her neck, trying to keep myself under control.

“It just hurts when you push me out,” I admitted quietly, and she froze.

“What?”

“When you don’t tell me all that’s bothering you, when you don’t let me know what I can do to help…” I explained, and she hugged me tighter.

“I’m sorry Jordy, but you’ve done so much to help me with this I don’t need to make it any more difficult on you than it already is,” she hiccupped. I shook my head, kissing her cheek.

“I love you Cam, I’d do anything for you,” I whispered, and pulled her in tight.

“I love you too Jordy. I’ll… I’ll try to be more open with stuff,” she promised, and I nodded, kissing her once more before we settled in for a nap.