I'll Be Right Beside You

*Just a note... I changed all of this from what I had originally written... and let's just say my attempt at doing a sensical timeline kind of got destroyed. So anyhow... this happens about a year after the last chapter, and the lockout happened this [2013-2014] season as opposed to last one... I'll stop rambling now*

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I took a deep breath as I stood up to exit the plane – I’d put off coming out to Thunder Bay as long as was physically possible. I knew it made me a terrible person, but Jordan’s memory hadn’t returned and I’d had a hellish time trying to cope with the fact.

I found my bag easily – there wasn’t much for air traffic coming in and out of Thunder Bay, and made my way toward the doors. So, although it was a far overdue visit, I was finally here, taking Jared up on one of his many offers for me to come out to Ontario. Last year I’d been crazy busy – between taking on a lot of extra charity work between team stuff, I’d hardly had time to sit down let alone go anywhere or do anything. And the All-Star game had been in Tampa Bay, so no opportunity to visit Jordan or Jared while I was there. The lockout had really retired the list of excuses for putting off what I knew would be a painful visit – and so after a summer of training and attending NHLPA meetings the lockout had officially began, and I soon had Eric, Marc and Jared all begging me about coming out to their hometown. I exhaled slowly, and followed the small group of people who’d been on my flight out to where the waiting area was. I immediately spotted the two redheaded Staal brothers waiting for me, and a little strawberry blonde boy in Jared’s arms.

“Hi guys,” I waved, Mike’s head whipping around, the toddler grinning and letting out a holler, catching the brother’s attentions. Marc smiled immediately and waved, starting to walk over to meet me. Jared’s whole face lit up; a huge, bright smile making me laugh as he hoisted his nephew onto his shoulders before quickly catching up to his brother.

“Cam! Long time no see!” Marc pulled me into a tight hug right off the bat, and I was glad to drop my bag and hug him back. I’d missed my ‘big brother’; only speaking to him for a few minutes after games wasn’t the same as the talks we used to have.

“I know – sorry about that,” I agreed when we pulled away. I hardly had time to react before I was in Jared’s familiar arms, and although I didn’t make a conscious effort to do so I knew I was melting into him. He’d always been a huge comfort for me, and now was nothing different.

“Hey – I missed you,” his comment was quiet, obviously only meant for my ears.

“Missed you too Jare,” I nodded before pulling away and snatching the three year old off of his shoulders. There was a strange tension between us, one I guessed was from our last conversation about feelings and stuff, and it hurt knowing that I quite possible sabotaged one of the most important friendships I had because of it.

“And I have some big news for you when we get home,” Jared told me, leaving me curious as to what it could be. He was trying to act normal, the way we usually did, but I knew it couldn’t be easy. Mike let out a happy shriek before wrapping his arms around me. He’d gotten so big since I’d last seen him it was almost hard to believe he was the same baby I’d seen last.

“And how are you? Holy cow are you ever getting big!” I gushed, getting a proud smile out of the toddler, a few of his little teeth still working their way in.

“Big! Like daddy!” he announced, and I laughed before nodding.

“I’m sure you will be! You look just like daddy!” I agreed, getting another happy smile.

“An Uncle J,” he added, getting a laugh out of his dad and uncle while I nodded.

“Yeah, and Uncle Jay,” I nodded, before settling him onto my hip and picking up my bag with my other hand. I got it comfortable on my shoulder before looking to the two Staals, Mike happily curled into my side.

“Well, ready to go?” I asked, and with a nod Marc pulled my bag off my shoulder, and when I went to argue both he and his brother gave me the same look. Had it been just one or the other I could’ve argued my point, but not both of them.

“Okay, okay,” I rolled my eyes, and got a few chuckles before we made our way to Marc’s SUV. I’d seen pictures of his and Lindsay’s newest addition to the family; Carter was almost ten months old now, and I hadn’t seen him in person yet.

“So, you finally found some time in your schedule for us Staals, eh superstar?” Marc teased once I crawled into the back and we had Mike in his car seat.

“Marc, don’t be silly,” Jared laughed as he got in the passenger seat, shaking his head at my response.

“Well it’s true! You had the NHL 14 cover, you OWNED at the Olympics, and you’ve done so much media stuff since it’s a miracle you even get time off anymore, let alone to come spend it with us,” he argued, making me huff.

“Doesn’t mean you need to call me Superstar… that makes me sound like some egotistical jerk,” I pointed out, and Marc rolled his eyes before apologizing for the name, finally referring to me as my familiar and welcomed nickname, Short-stack.

The ride back to Henry and Linda’s seemed even shorter than I had remembered. I unbuckled Mike, and settled him onto my hip once more as Jared grabbed my bag out of the back of the SUV while Marc headed inside. I knew he was eager to get back to his wife and infant, because just as he was with Mike he liked to be there as much as possible. Marc hated being gone so much during the season, and summer was the time he felt like he needed to catch up with his little family and he hated spending one second away from any of them.

“If it’s too hard Cam, we’ll understand,” Jared quietly told me as he came to stand next to me. I’d been trying to inconspicuously gather my wits, not sure how prepared I was to actually see Jordan face to face again for the first time in far too long. To have to see him and face the truth that things might never be the same.

“I’ll… I’ll be fine Jared. I need to see him at some point,” I tried to pass it off lightheartedly, but it was obvious Jared hadn’t taken the bait, or fallen for my hesitation being purely about Jordan. He hugged me once more, before patting my shoulder and motioning toward the house with his head.
“Come on, let’s go inside,” I nodded and followed along behind, trying to mentally steel myself for seeing everyone.

“Cam! Honey you look amazing,” Linda pulled me into a hug before I had both feet in the door, and I could only grin at her never-ending enthusiasm.

“Thanks Linda – you’re not so bad yourself,” I chuckled, causing her to laugh as she held me at arm’s length for a moment to look me over. She was constantly teasing me about being too skinny.
“Well come on in dear – everyone’s here. We’ve just been waiting for you four to get back from town,” she ushered me in, her expression telling me she knew how anxious I was, and that throwing me into the mess headfirst was the only way I’d be able to face it. I nodded, and took a deep breath before matching pace with her and making my way to the living room.

--

Linda had went to all of the trouble of making lasagna and Caesar salad and garlic bread, and I ate until I was sure I was going to be sick. Even then Linda and Tanya were both pushing another serving on me, until Jared finally stepped in with the comment that I looked about ready to explode. I wasn’t sure whether that was a helpful comment or a disguised teasing jab but I was glad either way that I didn’t feel like I needed to eat any more. At this rate I would have to roll myself back to the living room.

We all congregated there until the kids were starting to fall asleep. That was when Tanya and Eric finally said goodbye, herding Levi and Parker out the door. Marc and Lindsay were right behind them; Mike already fast asleep, leaving me, Jared, Jordan, Henry and Linda watching television in the living room. I’d sprawled out on the floor, leaving more seating room for the Staals, and Jared had flopped down beside me, groaning about how much his stomach hurt.

“Maybe if you didn’t eat so much your stomach wouldn’t hurt so much,” I teased, lightly poking his side. He let out an injured sound and pouted at me, his lip stuck out too far for his own good.

“Cam, that’s mean,”

“Just cause you’re a baby,” Jordan snickered, and Jared stuck his tongue out at his older brother before promptly rolling on top of me.

“Jared! You’re squishing me!” I complained but he merely smirked.

“That’ll teach you to make fat jokes at my expense,” he said, until Jordan gave him a shove and rolled him off to the side, before he settled down beside me.

“Thanks Jord,” I wasn’t sure how to respond, and when he just shrugged and smiled before putting his attention back on the TV I let out a breath of relief.

We laid there until nearly eleven o’clock, when Henry and Linda decided it was time to go to bed. After a long few minutes Jared cleared his throat, and brought up the inevitable.

“So, uh, Cam did you want to sleep upstairs or downstairs? You can take my room if you want to, or Marc’s or Eric’s,”

“Or mine if you want,” Jordan added, and I felt my face heat up even as I kept my gaze on the TV screen.

“D-doesn’t matter. Whatever’s easiest,” I mumbled, and felt Jared bump me with his shoulder.

“Does matter, so pick,” he quietly insisted, and from my peripheral I saw Jordan nod.

“I can take Marc’s room,” I finally decided, and sat up. Jared nodded and copied my movements, wrapping his arms around me in a quick hug.

“See you in the morning; if you need anything you know where to find it or where I am,” he told me, before getting up and heading up the stairs to his bedroom. That left Jordan and I to go downstairs, and I felt incredibly awkward as he slowly sat up and stretched before turning off the TV.

“Well, I think it’s about that time,” I nodded, getting up and getting my bag before meeting him at the top of the stairs. I followed him down, and he walked to Marc’s room, turning on the light and then stepping aside so I could go in. I set my bag down, and two seconds later was met with Jordan bringing sheets in to make up the bed. We worked quickly and quietly, not really talking until the bed was made and we were both awkwardly standing there.

“Cam, I’m sorry,”

“Why’s that?” he’d shocked me by the random outburst, and the way his eyes were downcast told me he thought something was wrong.

“That this is so awkward for you. It shouldn’t be – I know how close you are with my family, and I feel bad that I’m the reason this trip is so weird and hard for you,” he explained, making my eyes water a little.

“Jordan, it’s not like that,” I insisted, but he shook his head.

“You don’t have to try and spare my feelings Cam; it’s okay,”

“I’m not trying to spare your feelings Jord, I mean it,” I hesitantly took a step closer to him and then hovered, but saw recognition in his blue eyes. He closed the space then and gently wrapped his arms around me, pulling me in for a hug. I hugged him back, unable to believe how comfortable and familiar the action was.

“We need to talk about all of it Cam. I know why you didn’t want to before, but now that there’s a chance I might never remember… I don’t want this to be the way we act around each other. I just want us to be us again,” his voice was hoarse, and I held onto him even tighter, trying to keep my own tears at bay. I’d done a good job the past few months of not breaking down or crying whenever I thought of him, and I really in truly wanted it to stay that way. However, being in Thunder Bay was going to make that incredibly difficult.

“I know what you mean Jord. We have to talk about it,” I agreed, and with a sigh he pushed some of my hair off of my face before kissing the top of my head, the way Jared always used to. A way that was nothing more than friendly, and I realized that I didn’t like it. Not one bit. I wasn’t used to Jordan just acting friendly; I was used to Jordan being my boyfriend.

“We will Cam. Let’s maybe just give it a few days first, okay? I know everybody wants to see you and catch up before we cause any more drama,” his tone was light as he tried to tease me, but instead some guilt ate away at me.

“S-sounds good,” I agreed, and closed my eyes as he kissed my forehead before walking out of the room, closing the door behind him.

“I miss us too,” I sighed, before I quickly changed into my pajamas before crawling in, laughing a little at Marc’s glow-in-the-dark alarm clock decked out in Maple Leaf stickers, obviously from when he was younger. The light from the window cast a subtle glow over everything, and after a few minutes I finally felt myself fall asleep.