I'll Be Right Beside You

“Looking good boys!” I called out, the grin on my face appearing to be permanent. Something about being out on the ice with the twenty-some six and seven year olds just always seemed to put me in an incredible mood. I wasn’t sure if it was just the hockey, or the fact that these kids all looked up at me like I was Superman or something, but it was always incredible.

“Mr. Staal, can we scrimmage?” Josh – a boy in Parker’s class – asked, and I pretended to hum and haw over it for a moment. Soon the whole lot of them were pleading, and with a grin and a glance at the giant clock on the scoreboard I announced they could have a quick one. Thankfully the rink and league provided some colored bibs and most other supplies the team would need, so after picking captains and deciding teams I blew my whistle and they were off.

The ten minutes at the end of practice flew by, and after having spent nearly forty-five minutes doing practice before hand everybody was tired right out. Some parents had came early and watched part of the scrimmage before meeting their sons at the entrance to the locker rooms. I reminded everybody that the game was on Thursday and that we needed to be here twenty minutes earlier than usual, before all the kids were off the ice and I could put away the cones and bibs in the Rec. office, finding Parker waiting patiently on the bench for me.

“Hey bud – aren’t you gonna go get changed to go home?” I asked, and he nodded, standing up and taking the hand I offered.

“I just wanted to wait for you, that’s all,” he explained, and I patted the top of his helmet before holding the locker room door open for him. I knelt down to untie his skates for him while he pulled off his helmet and his jersey to start getting off his pads. Once he was ready to go and I had his gear packed up we stood by the front doors to make sure everybody was out before shutting off the lights, one of Parker’s favorite things to do after practice, and finally heading out to the car.

“Practice was awesome today Uncle Jordy! I’m so happy you came and coached,” he told me with a quick hug before bolting into the house. That never got old.

I grabbed his hockey bag and followed in after him, hearing Levi chattering away at his big brother and Jonathan making some noise as well, the smell of dinner wafting through the air. I loved this; I loved the feeling of home and a family, even if it hurt a little bit to wonder if I’d find it for myself. Since the accident I knew I was pretty shy around new people, not wanting to have to explain the memory thing and all, so it had been a little difficult. Outside of Eric, Tanya, Jared, and a few other teammates that were close to my brothers I didn’t really have many people I considered to be my friends.

“Hey! How was practice?” Eric asked, and soon Parker was eagerly telling him every detail that he could possibly remember from at the rink.

“And daddy! I scored a goal in scrimmage! Right over Danny’s shoulder – he never even saw it coming!” Parker’s excitement was infectious as I walked into the kitchen to see both Tanya and Eric absolutely beaming at their oldest boy. I scooped Carter up out of his seat before sitting down at the island to join in.

“You should’ve seen him today – like a little rocket out there on the ice,” I added, making Parker smile proudly up at his parents.

“Really?” Parker nodded, turning to me for confirmation.

“Really – he’s one of the fastest kids on the team,” I told Eric and Tanya, who just smiled.

“Way to go buddy!” Eric high-fived him before picking up Levi, who had his mini-sticks out and was obviously feeling a little left out. He was in a learn-to-skate program, as he was only turning three, but he was already showing signs of having some hockey talent like his older brother. His on-ice co-ordination was better than it was off-ice, which was a bit of a running joke in our family.

The doorbell rang, and before anyone could move to answer it Jared came in, announcing his presence as he kicked off his shoes and took off his coat. Parker ran to go and meet him, eager to tell him all about practice today too. Jared listened intently to the whole thing, and high-fived his nephew for his goal afterward.

“Sounds like somebody had fun. How much fun did Coach have?” he asked me with a teasing grin.

“Lots, you should try coaching sometime,” I told him, and he clapped my shoulder with a wide smile.

“I think I need to at least make a name for myself first, then I’ll give ‘er a go. Better follow your lead on it, then maybe someone will want to hire me,” he winked before snooping over Tanya’s shoulder about what was for supper. I shook my head at him before we made our way to the living room to keep the boys occupied and out of Tanya’s hair for the little while before supper.

While we ate Levi told us all about his day at pre-school, and not to be outdone by his older brother, Jonathan was chattering away in his baby talk, a few words here and there that were decidedly English. It was loud and hectic and just like every other night, I loved every second of it.

Jared helped put the kids to bed before relaxing on the far end of the couch while we watched Game of Thrones. He liked having his own space in the fairly big apartment that he and Jeff shared, but I think, just like me, he liked being around everybody. Either that or he just really liked to mooch Tanya’s cooking, which was also a likely possibility.

“So, talked to Cam lately?” he asked, and I swallowed hard before shaking my head. I’d been meaning to call her for a few weeks now, and just hadn’t grown a pair and been able to do it yet.

“No, why?”

“She had some big news, I thought she would’ve maybe texted you or something. But she knows you’re busy, that’s probably why she didn’t,” he quickly added, and I shrugged before he continued. “I guess Vero asked her to be a bridesmaid in her wedding.”

“No way, that’s awesome. Cam’ll love that,” I smiled, before trying to picture her in an actual dress. The only one that came to mind was the black and white one from our anniversary… I wasn’t sure if I’d ever actually seen her in one other than that.

“Minus the dress part,” he snickered, obviously on the same page that I was.

“Oh well, she’ll get over it because it’s Vero,” he nodded, agreeing with me.

“Look, you really should call her Jord. She asked about you when we talked earlier,” he finally sighed, looking over at me. I was a little surprised, I mean, I knew things were a lot better but I hadn’t realized that, obviously. We talked a bit, but it was a lot of texting and some emails – keeping things light and friendly, as much as I think we both wanted more.

I was kind of surprised that he’d talked to Cam lately. They’d been a little weird when she’d came up to Thunder Bay, and he didn’t talk about her half as much as he had before. Of course I had my suspicions about it, but I didn’t want to ask Jared about it. He and Natalie were going good – as far as I could tell. He didn’t really talk about her either.

“Maybe I’ll give her a shout then,” I nodded, and stood up, ready to go downstairs and dig my cell phone out to do just that. Jared was quiet, staring in the direction of the TV but I could tell he wasn’t watching.

“You okay?”

His green eyes turned to me, and they were dark, like something was really eating away at him.

“You better not fuck it up this time, got it?”