I'll Be Right Beside You

The remainder of the season flew by on me; after going back to Pittsburgh I threw myself into hockey. The guys were all glad that I was back; being out for essentially a month really shortened up my season. Something was off, though; I hadn’t settled out a deal for my contract – not a big deal because I was signed through next year – but going into the playoffs it was like nobody wanted to be there. Our hearts just weren’t in it, and when Jordan called me to see how I was doing after Marc and the Rangers eliminated us, I was nowhere near the mess I should have been. I was upset, of course, but I was so glad for Marc to be moving on that it really did overrule my remorse about ending the season so soon. We only won one game against them, and while Marc had looked a little pained when he came and gave me a hug after the game it was easy to smile and squeeze him tight with congratulations. I assured him I would be watching more of his games and that I fully expected him to take home the cup this year – seeing as he had yet to win one. The smile on his face was incredible and he’d nearly suffocated me when he pulled me in for another hug.

Just as I’d said I kept close tabs on Marc’s Rangers, because Eric and Jared were eliminated from the play offs the same round that we were. My mom and Uncle even came out to a few of Marc’s games – which Marc had flipped out when he’d found out, and had thanked them a million times over for coming out to support him. This was the second year he was the only one of the four brothers left in the play offs, and I knew we all wanted to see him bring home the cup. It got to the point that I was just as regular in the WAG’s box as Lindsay and the other girls, who I found I got along with really well.

Sid and the guys, however, didn’t really understand. They got that I was supportive of Marc – they all knew how close I was with the Staals – but they couldn’t really wrap their heads around me going to New York and watching the games in person. I think it bothered them the most because they all knew I hadn’t re-signed yet, and worse that nobody really knew what was going on. They knew there was a possibility of me going elsewhere, and spending so much time going to New York to watch the Rangers had planted a seed of worry that I would be leaving the Penguins for the Rangers. James had pulled me aside and asked me about it, and I’d told him the honest truth. I didn’t know for sure if I would be with the Penguins past my contract, there were too many variables right now. Jordan was the big one, and as soon as I said it, I was sure James knew that he was the main reason for my indecision.

It killed Rosa and Becka that I was even considering signing elsewhere, and it killed me to think of being that far away from them. They were my best friends and meant the world to me, but even if I did go to Raleigh, I’d be in Pittsburgh on a fairly regular basis. Hell, I could live in Pittsburgh in the off-season and see them all summer. It was the fact that I’d be doing it for Jordan that had Rosa and James worried, and probably why Becka was freaking out and therefore had Sid following suit. He was wrapped around her finger tighter than the ring he’d proposed with.

So when Lindsay snapped me out of my thoughts by waving her hand in front of my face I was completely disoriented. It was game three of the finals, and the Rangers had fallen behind two games to nothing, and when I’d stopped paying attention the game against the Canucks had been pretty boring.

“Marc scored! What is with you tonight?” she asked. I sighed and shrugged, really not wanting to get into it and spoil her mood. Instead, however, she crossed her arms and gave me a pointed look, before her gaze wandered to her children for a quick moment, and then settled back on me.

“Just thinking, that’s all,” I assured her.

“Cam, I know when you’re ‘just thinking’ and this was full-blown space cadet,”

“It’s just… the contract stuff… where I’m going to be, what’s going to happen… it worries me because a lot can change in a year, you know?” I asked, and immediately her expression fell and she pulled me into a hug.

“It’s Jordan, isn’t it?” she whispered. I nodded, and she squeezed me a little tighter. Lindsay had teased me incessantly about getting traded to New York, which I wouldn’t mind – I was so close with her and Marc and now several of the other girls and a couple guys from his team – but she understood how much Pittsburgh meant to me. Now that I was actually considering leaving the Penguins she never spoke a word about me coming to the Rangers because of Jordan and Jared both being in Raleigh, along with Eric, Tanya and the kids. We’d been talking a lot since I’d been in Raleigh, and as hard as I knew it would be, I knew that as hard as we could fight it, we’d still end up gravitating back together. It would be easier to lay it all on the table, talk it all out and go from there, rather than putting it off like we have been.

“Yeah, a lot. Which is stupid, because I don’t know where he is on all of this or where he’s gonna be or—”

“Shush – you know he’ll do whatever he can to be with you, Cam; Jordan loves you with everything he’s got. He was talking with Marc last week, and asked about you – I guess the NHL Network has made a big deal about you being at so many of the games,” she giggled, and I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. Apparently my indecision on re-signing with the Penguins was huge news in the hockey world.

“NHL Network doesn’t have a sniff,” I retorted, and Lindsay started to laugh loud enough to catch the attention of some of the other girls. She quickly tried to stifle herself, before turning her eyes to the ice, searching for Marc, and when she realized it wasn’t his shift returned her full attention back to me.

“True, but it has Jordan all worried. Don’t ask me why, Marc didn’t say a word, but Jordan’s really concerned about you – he wants you to do the right thing for you, you know? I think it’s partially because he’s not playing hockey anymore that he wants you to be able to do all the hockey-things you want to,”

Lindsay’s reply sent me reeling – Jordan and I talked fairly regularly now, we called every week and texted quite a bit. But I’d had no idea he was talking to his brothers about me or that my contract status was causing him worry.

“He never said a word of any of that to me,” I whispered, and Lindsay all but rolled her eyes.

“Don’t act so surprised – he’d go to the moon and back for you and you know it,” she told me, and with no response available I turned my attention back to the ice. Lindsay let out a laugh before getting up to go and pick up her youngest son from running laps around the other girls.

“Sometimes it worries me a little bit, you know? Because I want him to be happy, and where the two of us are concerned I’m the one with a bunch of emotional baggage with everything that happened, you know?” I sighed, and she nodded, before pulling me in for a one-armed hug.

“I do, but it’ll be okay Cam; you two will both be okay,” she insisted, settling him onto her lap, only for him to squirm and move to my lap seconds later. I quickly got him calmed down and watched for the remainder of the game, doing my best to keep as focused as possible. It was difficult, but I managed it, and when Lindsay and I herded up her boys to go and see Marc she knew that my mind wasn’t on the game that the Rangers had just won.

“Hey boys!” Marc’s face lit up even more when he caught sight of his two sons, who both hollered and took off full speed toward him. I couldn’t help but smile watching Marc interact with Mike and Carter; just as Eric, Jordan, and Jared were, Marc was an incredible natural with kids. It stirred up feelings that I had whenever I was around little kids; I knew I wanted a family, but after everything that happened I was starting to question my own future. I loved hockey and didn’t want to give it up, but it would have to be one or the other.

“Hey Cam – thanks for coming out,” Marc gave me a hug after greeting and kissing his wife, and ruffled my hair for good measure.

“Well I wasn’t gonna sit at home while you had a game,” I rolled my eyes, earning a chuckle out of him as he adjusted Carter on his hip. The little guy had started walking at hardly past eight months, and now was doing a good job of walking around, his first birthday coming up the first of July.

“My good luck charms, eh?” he teased, kissing the top of Lindsay’s head once more as we headed toward the door. I’d drove with Lindsay; Marc had to be at the rink earlier so we brought the kids just in time for the game. They were both exhausted beyond belief, but they forced themselves to stay awake until the end of the game to watch Marc. They both sported matching number 18 jerseys as well, which everybody thought was adorable considering they both looked just like their father.

We got back to the house, and I offered to give Mike a bath while Lindsay got Carter into bed; Marc was exhausted and I wanted to help out however I could.

“Thanks so much Cam; it’s been huge having you here,” I looked up from the splashing toddler and floating bath toys to see Marc leaning against the bathroom door, yawning.

“No problem Marc,” I insisted, flinching as Mike squealed and sent a particularly large splash my direction.

“No, I mean it; I mean, I feel like I haven’t even been doing anything around here since you got here. It’s weird. Nice, but weird,” he chuckled. I joined in, shrugging my shoulders. I liked it, and the boys were so incredible it wasn’t like it was a problem.

“Well, you need to be rested up, we all want to see you bring home the cup,” I explained, and his face lit up.

“Thanks Cam,”

“Daddy look!” Mike waved his rubber ducky around, and Marc laughed before coming over to investigate, playing with Mike for a while before we got him out of the tub and into his pajamas. It only took a quick story for Mike to be sleeping hard, and Marc and I sat in the kitchen until Lindsay joined us.

“Mike went to sleep easy?” she asked, sounding worried, as if I hadn’t been here for the past two and a half weeks taking care of him.

“Of course – he’s so tired I’m surprised he didn’t fall asleep in the tub,” I answered, and she looked relieved before getting us each a drink. We sat for a half hour visiting before calling it a night, seeing as Marc had the day off tomorrow and his parents, Jared, and - although it wasn’t for sure - Jordan, were coming out to New York.