I'll Be Right Beside You

I woke up in a room I hadn’t seen in years. The last time I’d been in Jordan’s house had been with the whole Eric/Jordan fighting mess. A long time ago, and to say there were a few memories here was an understatement. I sat up, letting the blanket fall down as I took in Jordan’s bedroom. It hadn’t changed since I’d been here last – nothing had even moved. None of the pictures on the dresser had moved, neither had the few articles of summer clothing that hung in the closet, or the quilt that his mom had given him as a housewarming present.

“H-hey, you’re up,” I jumped at Jordan’s baritone, before looking up to see him hovering in the doorway. It was obvious he didn’t know what to do; whether he should come in and help out or if he should stay where he was. All I had to do was lift my arms in the slightest toward him and he was on the bed beside me, wrapping his strong, long arms around me and pulling me into his chest.

“I’m sorry Cam – I never meant to make you cry,” his voice was shaking, as if he were on the verge of tears himself.

“No, Jordy it’s not your fault hon,” I managed, pulling him close and gently patting down his hair. “It’s just hard to come to terms with everything is all.”

“What do you mean?”

“Just with everything… I mean…”

“It’s what I said, wasn’t it?” I nodded a little as he pulled away to be able to look at me.

“Cam I’m so sorry – I know you don’t want me to push and everything else and I’m really really sorry if hearing me say that I love you is hard, but don’t just decide to leave me in the dust because of it; everybody else loves you too much to have to lose you again because of me,” he was in tears, and all I could do was shake my head again.

“That’s not it Jord – it’s because as much as I know I shouldn’t I still love you too, and it’s not gonna change,”

“R-really?” I nodded before laughing, knowing how ridiculous we both had to look saying we loved each other while bawling our eyes out.

“Of course Jordy – I’ve always loved you,”

“I love you too Cam, and I know it’ll be hard, but I want to make it work. I’ll come back to Pittsburgh, I’ll do anything I can,”

“You don’t have to do that Jord… um… after this next season my contract in Pittsburgh is up. And, um, someone told me Carolina could use someone who plays like me,” I told him, and saw his eyes light up before he shook his head.

“I can’t ask you to give up Pittsburgh Cam – all your friends, the team that gave you your start, the girls? I’m already asking you to push past all the shit that must have happened, I can’t make you do that too,”

“Maybe I want to Jordan. Maybe this is the next step I need to make in my life, and I want you in that step,” I insisted, and saw the oh-so-familiar smile make its way onto his features. This was my Jordan, whom I loved more than any other person in my little world. He may not be the version of himself I first knew, but little bits and pieces shone through; the smile and softening of his features being one of them.

“I want you in mine Cam. That’s why I’ve been holding onto this... I’ve had it since before the accident. I don’t know how long anymore, mind you, but since before it all happened. And it might seem soon and all, but it doesn’t mean we have to rush into anything, but… I want you to have it,” he got up and pulled something out of his closet, settling down close to me and pulling me in close before revealing the small, velvet box to me. All the breath seemed to leave my body as his hands shook – this time more with nervousness than his usual slight tremors – and he opened the small box, revealing the most beautiful ring I had ever laid eyes on. Tears were welling up in my eyes once again, this time because I was too overwhelmed to do anything else.

“Jordy… oh my god are you serious?”

“Serious as I can be Cam; I love you, and I can’t go at it without you,” he told me, taking the tiny, delicate ring in his large, rough hands – a contrast I couldn’t miss – and held it out. My hand shook worse than his as I held it out, and in a smooth motion he slid the ring onto my finger.

“I knew it would suit you as soon as I saw it,” he admitted, still overly emotional as he couldn’t take his eyes off of me or the ring that fit comfortably on my finger.

“You always knew me better than I knew myself Jordy,” I whispered, pulling him in for a long kiss that left us even more breathless than before.

“Well as long as you’re with me that’s all that matters,” he told me, kissing me once more, this time his lips much softer and gentler than the first time.

“Of course babe,” I answered, the smile seemingly glued on my face as I kissed him again, an unexplainable feeling of contentment settling into me. This was where I was supposed to be.