I'll Be Right Beside You

I was shaking, and this time it wasn’t because of my hands. Cam hadn’t had to try very hard to convince me to actually attend Marc and Vero’s wedding, not when I knew I would have to face everybody at some point. Then when I realized it meant so much to her there wasn’t a chance in hell I could ever refuse. Now I was more than glad that I’d done so; watching her walk down the aisle in the soft grey bridesmaid dress, her hair curled and her makeup done, was one of the most beautiful sights I had ever laid eyes on. That and the slightly shy smile she wore on her face as many of her friends and teammates saw her dressed up in a girly way for the first time. The looks on a few of the guys’ faces were priceless, and TK sent me a shit-eating grin and a wink when she had taken her place alongside Becka and Vero’s little sister. When Vero started her walk down the aisle Marc wasn’t the only one nearly in tears; the girls were all in nearly to the same state.

I sat quietly through the ceremony; parts of it were in French so I was completely in the dark, and while Kris had started mumbling the translations I shushed him. I didn’t need to know the exact words to know that they were talking about how much the two loved each other, it was clear as day on Marc, Vero, and their parents’ faces. It was a beautiful moment, one I hoped to have for myself as I caught Cam’s eye, her ring glittering in the light yet blending in against the bouquet in her hands, nearly hiding it from view. Nobody knew yet; the three weeks we’d been “engaged” it had been kept from everyone, including my family and her mom and uncle. It was difficult, but we had a lot to work through before people were throwing wedding stuff at us.

“There you are,” Cam looked relieved as she made her way over to me for a quick peck of a kiss. Everyone had congregated outside of the church, filling the small manicured lawn and gathering in several small groups chatting in a mixture of languages.

“Hey beautiful,” was my response, making her face heat up before she pushed herself onto her tiptoes to kiss me once more.

“So, we have to go take pictures… they said it won’t be long but everything else has gone longer than expected so…” she trailed off while I nodded, understanding completely. She wasn’t impressed with the prospect of having to leave me to my own devices; most of my teammates I could hardly remember, let alone hold real conversations with anymore. They’d all said hello, but Sid, Marc, Geno, Tanger and TK were the only ones to really make more than a minimal effort, and Marc was far too busy to be able to do much. Cam had whispered that they’d been my closest friends on the team, and I didn’t need to ask to see the cautious looks Steve and his wife gave me. Steve thought of Cam as his daughter, and I knew I’d screwed up enough to probably be on his shit list for life.

“It’s fine sweetheart; I’ll find a way to keep myself busy,” I assured her with a wink, one that had her giggling as she took my hand in hers and gave it a soft squeeze.

“I know, I just feel bad about it,” she shrugged, and I kissed her cheek, seeing Vero searching for her renegade bridesmaid as I stood up. Once she spotted me her eyes flitted to Cam, and her expression softened and she put her hand up to cover her mouth. She was on the verge of tears, and we needed to divert her attention at least until after the pictures were done.

“You better go save the bride; she looks like there’s gonna be waterworks,” I softly suggested, and Cam’s face lit up with alarm as I steered her in the right direction. She took off, stumbling only a little in her heels before pulling Vero into a hug.

One disaster averted, I decided to make my way to my car and wait there, seeing as everyone was just visiting while waiting for the party to move to the hall for the reception. I was almost half way there when I heard my name, and turned to see Steve making his way toward me.

“H-hey, how are you?” I asked, and Steve shrugged, offering his hand for me to shake.

“Good, good. How are you doing Jordan?” concern was thickly laced in his tone, and all I could think about was how relieved I was that it wasn’t pity.

“All right; almost back to where I used to be,” I replied, and he nodded, silence falling between us.

“We saw the ring,” he finally spoke up, giving me some insight as to the real reason for the conversation.

“Yeah, we’ve got a lot of figuring out to do, but she’s it, Steve. She’s my world and I want her to be my wife,” I shrugged, finding that was the simplest way to cover a broad spectrum of emotion.

“And look what happened the first time. I just don’t want to see you two get hurt again Jordan, do you really think this is best?”

“I want what’s best for her too, Steve. I may not remember what all happened between us, but I gave her the space to make her own decision,” I replied, my tone a bit more curt than I had intended.

His eyes widened, and a look that bordered on pity and shock was on his face. “You don’t remember?”

“No… I’m still missing a lot. The, uh, doctor doesn’t think it’ll come back; it’s been too long since the accident,” it came out in a mumble, the fact still hard to swallow even after all of this time knowing it. After about a year the chances of any more memories coming back were slim to none.

“Shit… Jordan I’m so sorry – we had no idea,” he immediately began to apologize, which I cut off.

“It’s fine, Steve – you’re just looking out for your little girl, I get it. And she’s lucky to have you, Cam needs you,” I insisted, and he choked up a bit.

“I guess it’s just scary because no matter what the hell happens she seems to need you too. And I want both of you happy, I do, I just don’t see how it will work this time. But I had no idea that your memory wasn’t all back,”

“I haven’t exactly broadcasted it,” I chuckled, and got a part smile out of him. “And I can’t imagine how hard it is for Cam to go through all this with me. But she’s willing to, and that’s all I need. I’m not going to do anything to screw it up this time. I know that I lost her once – I don’t know how but I know I did it – and I’m not willing to let it happen ever again. You’ve got my word on it Steve,”

“I hope so Jordan, because I can’t watch her go through that all again,” he sighed, and I nodded, knowing exactly what he meant.