Welcome to My Hell

Watching the deep Z’s flutter into the deep dark emptiness of the living room where Tom laid. With my feet formed onto the fuzzy fabric, my knees cave in into my small frame. I watched him as he slept so peacefully. I couldn’t sleep because too many thoughts had scrunched into my tiny mind, filling my skull with nothing but questions and worries. On the right side view of me, I can see the scattered chrome sided glass that decorated the wooden hallway floor that was lit up by the flaming torches of light on the creamy white walls. Blood was edged onto a few that laid lonely across the other side of the clean shatters. Reliving that horrid moment of Tom’s fist connecting to the center of the bathroom mirror shook my heart.

I should’ve just walked out that front door to freedom, but the empty thinking had caused me to stay longer. Why do I feel so attached to a man that I know so little about. Rubbing my thumbs together in a circular motion, my eyes start to linger off to the front door. Seeing the fainted ghosts of Tom and I made me want to cry as I noticed the emotion in his eyes. When I stormed off to the front door, the way he grabbed me was strongly known that he wanted me to stay. After reading that heart threatening letter, I actually got to see the pain that is hidden in his heart. I finally know why he uses hate and depression to slop over the hurt in his shredded soul. Unleashing my knees from my chest, I lowered down my legs onto the polished cool floors.

In the corner between the rubber green pot plant, and the end of the couch where Tom’s sweet head laid, I grabbed a quilt that was neatly folded into a thick square. Unfolding the cloth to transform it to a usable comforter, I turn towards him and draped it onto his chilled form. As I was about to head off to my room, a muffling moan cemented my feet to the ground. “Mm Kat?”
Moving my torso to the direction of Tom’s body, I can see the reflections of light bounce off his brown eyes. “Hey look who is awake…what’s up,” I chuckled lightly with a wide smile.

“Can you lie down next to me?”

Biting on the inside of my cheek, I changed the structure of my facial expression to a gloomy one. The same mask was shifted onto his as he started to clench the material into the cores of his palm. “I don’t think it’s a good idea Tom.”

Lowering down the cover to his waistband, he pulled out the arm that was suffocated inside the couch to hand out his hand to mine. “Just for a couple of hours…it’s almost daylight…I just need someone right now.”

Giving into his pity, I nodded my head slowly, bending me knees down to sway my bottom to the available spot for my body to lie. Lowering down my head under the hook of his free arm, I could start to feel the heavy heat of his breath on the back of my neck. His body started to shift in a comfortable position for the both of us to rest. The more he moved, the more I can feel his pelvis accidentally grind the back of me. I wanted to move from the temptation of the wonderful heat he was giving me, but his other arm was wrapped around the dips of my waist. How the way he was moving, I could tell that he was trying to fight the urge as much as I was. Eventually he stopped flustering behind me and started to fall deep into sleep. My eyes as well started to grow heavy as the sweet lullaby of his breaths soothed me till I permanently closed them.

Alerted from my short slumber, a heavy bolt knock bounced the sound against the walls. I could feel the burn of the sun’s rays weaken my vision. Tom was interrupted from his sleep as well. As if he knew who was at the front of the door, he sprinted up to rush to the knob. Sitting upright, rubbing the lack of sleep from my eyes, a tall skinny figure waltz right inside. It was Bill, the look of terror was noticeable as he shut the door forcefully before Tom was given the opportunity to do it himself.

“They burned my house…stupid FUCKS!”

From a far still with my vision being a little blurry, I noticed Tom’s face turned white. “Wait, Bill what do you mean they burned your house?”

“My house is gone…in ashes, two stories nothing, everything gone.”

Holding his hands up in surrender from his brother’s panic attack he tried to calm him down, “Okay Bill I get it…now are you okay, do you know who did it?”

“That stupid fuck that we have been tracking down for a while, that’s who. I’m going to fucking kill him and his sorry ass thugs. It’s game over, I had enough.”

Tom roughly stroked his hands through his untamed dreads with a huge sigh. “You know we can’t go in like that, our plan was to take his sister to draw him out, and he has too many guys Bill.”
Before Bill said anymore, he noticed my existence and pointed me out to Tom, “Why is she still her? She isn’t supposed to be here, you know that.”

Feeling embarrassed by his statement, I pull the heated quilt a little more over my left shoulder to draw a distraction from my fate. Tom pulled him aside to the kitchen so he would cool down. The only thing that my ears were to pick up was muffling whispers that felt like an unknown language. Whispers became so faint that it was useless to even try my hardest to listen. Footsteps gathered noise closer to my direction to find Bill walking my way. “So, you want in huh?” My heart started to expand with multiple pounds of anxiety as I knew that Tom had told him about last night.

Taking a huge gulp of sticky spit, I stood up the extra one foot tall man, “Yes…I do.”

“Why,” demanding for an answer with a blink of an eye.

“Because…I have nothing to fear anymore. I have nothing else to live for, so why not pick up something to live for.”

The outside of his cheek sucked into the grinding of his molars; scoping me out to see if I meant what I said, “And what is that something my dear?”

“To kill those bastards that caused me to turn this way.”

A small grin caked on the corner of his left crease. Stepping back to give me some room, he lowered down his upper half to bow down. “Well well, I knew it was going to happen when the first time we’ve met…just didn’t know how long…know let’s hope you don’t choke.”

Standing back closer to my torso, he laid his hand on the tops of my scrawny shoulders, “it’s not going to be easy to get in I hope you know that. Today we have a job to do, you are going with Tom and I to pay a unwanted human being a visit.”

Walking away from my position he walked over to the front of the door; opening it slightly for the invisible wind to rush into the chamber. Leaning out half way of the door, he cupped his hand to the corners of his lips in a shouting stance, “Tom we’re leaving…Now.” Before he exited from my sight he gave out a creepy discomfort smile. Tom rushed in with an extra black sweat shirt, throwing it my way.

“Put it on, it’s chilly outside.”

No emotion showed through his tone or his face as he tossed it to my face. Without stopping, he disappeared out the door as well, leaving me clueless. Draping the cotton sweater over my head, I headed to the front as well with my hands on the inside of the sweaters front pockets. Hiding the nervous fidgeting of my fingers twine together in a knot, I shut the door behind me placing my head down to be forced to look at the top of my shoes. Tom and Bill were both not acknowledging me as I reached up the crisp black expedition. Not paying attention to the front of me, I almost stumble in the process of getting in the back seat. Not a peep from Bill neither Tom from my actions.
Tom and Bill grew silent until Bill smashed it in a response to Tom. “Was machst du noch mit diesem Miststuck?”
(What are you still doing with this bitch?)

I understood it clearly that he was speaking German, thinking that I had no idea of his meaning. Even though I was nervous, I started to grow pissed. Turning my head to Tom, I waited for the response he was going to give back. “Ich habe nichts dagegen ihr; wird sie hier nicht sein, das lang.”
(Don’t mind her; she won’t be here that long.)

“Sie Klingen wie sie nicht mochten, dass sie um mehr . Warum?”
(You sound like you don’t want her around anymore. Why?)

“Es war nur fur sex. Nichts mehr.”
(It was just for sex. Nothing more.)

I could hear the laughter in both of their throats choke up into balls of satisfaction. Tears coated my dry eyeball as I heard the painful words from Tom’s very lips. Even though the salty liquid coated my eye sockets, it never dripped on my cheek. I wasn’t sad, but pissed. I dealt with his fucked up emotions for to long for him to pose in front of me for his brother. After whatever we are done doing what we are going to do, I am leaving. The glimpses that Tom gave me through his car side mirror sickened me. I didn’t know if he knew I was upset because it seemed like he didn’t care that I wouldn’t look him in the eye. To calm down the fury that burned inside me, I stalked outside the window and began to watch the trees say goodbye every second we kept going. I could feel the motion of the vehicle to slow down as we stopped in front of an old barn. The sun made the chapped wood cleaner than it seemed if you were in the shade of its vision. Both of the guys got out of the car, leaving me by myself in the back seat.

Tom noticed that I didn’t come out so he trailed back with an annoyed expression and opened the door on my side. Our eyes just met, I wanted him to see the anger I felt in mine. Stepping back from the vehicle, he pulled out his hand for me to grab on in need of aid to get out of the expedition. As bill was staring off in space at the barn, Tom turned back at me to give me a cheeky smile. As I rejected his helping hand, I plopped my bottom soles to the hard grassy ground and walked passed him as if he was just a ghost. The smile melted slowly off his face as I kept going to the front of the car.

Bill noticed my negative attitude, so he taunted me more, “Aww what’s wrong sweetie, is someone on their time of the month.”

The side of my cheeks felt boiling hot as I turned around to stand in front of both Bill and Tom. “Fick dich.”
(Fuck you.)

Tom’s face froze as he realized that I spoke his language. Bill on the other hand had a ball with my response. “Oh shoot brother, I think she understood us in the car.”

Tom’s face still turned still as stone as he looked deeply into my eyes. To piss to look any longer, I started to walk towards the barn, leading them to where they were supposed to lead me.