Welcome to My Hell

My icy stare pierced like sharp knives into Tom’s eyes. “Stupid…this is beyond stupid.”
Forcing my body frontward towards Tom’s stature, I attain out my right arm missing the bullet packed target. My knees distorted as it made me almost trip onto my face. On all fours I bend my head down in disgrace. The salty rivers streamed down my cheeks as I flashed the horrible image in my head of Dean, roofed in blood. Appearing a dark silhouette from the side of my posture, it swallowed me up and strained myself onto my feet. “You’re not alone Katerina, I promise…I don’t know you personally, but inside I can tell your soul has been washed away from being pure, and you need help to restore and push away from the evil that has weakened you.”
Avoiding matching with his glossy brown eyes, I snapped my figure the opposite of where he was faced towards me. “All this time you think that the evil inside my soul has weakened me, but it only made me stronger. No more I will take shit from anyone…Soft…delicate Katerina is gone and I will never want to go back to that…I don’t need you, or anyone.”

Spitting out those words were out of angry and frustration. Tom just was in the middle of it. Yeah, maybe I was tired of old me, but still inside I could feel the same pain that he has felt. Silence was never broken when he started off to the beginning of the stairs. I turned my head around slowly to see if he really left, but all I saw was stillness between us. At the peak of the stairway, he gave me one last look as if he was signaling goodbye. I could feel the pulsation in my head starting to erupt with throbbing. Sick of me and how the way I treated someone that took heed for my brother and willing to help my distorted heart. A friend I have just gained, was then lost.

I felt like my body was covered in cement. No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t budge to run to him to apologize for my stupidity. Hearing the door slam, left a echo amongst the hallways and ring into my ears. Then the sight of white appeared sharply into my view. For some time, I stared into the white abyss above my head, wondering about Dean. Flashbacks of Dean and I flew into the images of my mind. One that seemed to pause on a certain scene was when Dean and I were at the park. Dean was 6 and I was 9. He was so innocent back then; his and my mind blinded from reality of the treacherous place we call life. A sound of footsteps brunt me back to my soulless body. The heavy fixer of offbeat patterns stood signs of Dean walking; being in his condition. Not paying attention to how fast the movement of my feet, I stalked the source of the sound.

Dean was in the kitchen while placing each of his hands on the side of the silver sink. I could see that he had noticed by the way his ears perked up in alert. Suddenly, he turned around speed walking towards my place. Throwing his hands reckless towards my shoulder as his clutched them with great pounds of pressure. The look in his eyes scared me; blood shot red and full of tears ready to burst. “We need to get out now…Th...They are going to kill me and you.”

“Stop Booboo, you’re scaring me…WH...Wha…what happened to you…who did this.” I distorted my words with fear showing in every one, escaping my mouth.

Tears finally fell out of his eye sockets. “Kat…they are going to kill me because of something I did…well didn’t do.”

Both of our structures shook to the point of where our ankles started. I could feel my eyebrows fuse together in confusion. “What happened!!!”

Unexpectedly, the color of his skin turned white as if he saw a ghost. “Th…This gang…A friend asked if I wanted to join from school…without me even able to blink I got knocked the fuck out by a crowd a guys…both adults and kids to our little brothers age. That night you found me half way beaten was from them…the beaten showed that if I survived then I am one of them…Yesterday I was given a task to do to show my loyalty to the gang…”

His eyes slowly looked up to mine as he stopped explaining in the middle of it. From what I was told by Tom, the blood that stained his shirt wasn’t his. I needed to know if he actually does what the people told him to do or not. “What was it?”

Bursting of the salty liquid appeared once again as he hunched his head almost touching his chin to his chest. “They wanted me…to kill you...if I didn’t then they were going to kill me. I gave you the gun for protection after I repeatedly refused over and over again, pleading for your mercy and for mine…Instead the stupid motherfuckers laughed in my face and the big boss pulled out a gun…and…I fought for my life and ended up forcing the trigger to my friend. I hit my head by falling as I ran for my life…Kat they are going to kill me.”
I couldn’t believe what I hear took. If I never changed over night, I would’ve sobbed with Dean. Instead I forcefully grabbed him into my arms and squeezed him, letting him know that nothing was going to happen. Rage felt like a uncontrollable fire inside my soul as I saw the suffering my brother was in. If they really were going to come then I’ll be ready for them.

4:00 AM

Dean was fallen asleep onto my lap as we were situated in front of the vibrant box we call television. Sounds of crashing glass jumped me out of my slumber. After the second mutual sound, I jolted up to my feet while waking up Dean in the process. Placing my finger over his thin lips, I pointed for him to head upstairs. “Go get Ricky now and take him to mom and dad’s room ok.”

Lacking hesitation, he trotted lightly up the stairs. Inaudibly, I crept to the front door window, checking for engagements in the streets. Two vehicles, misplaced from the original vehicle, stood still while casting light from the gloss of its paint. Crashing noises came from upstairs; screams of my mother filled the silent room. Bolting the door shut with the extra top lock, I leap to my parent’s room. Pieces of clay from the bedside light were shattered onto the hardwood surface. Two body’s laid on the king size mattress, saturated in my father’s and Ricky’s blood. The terror shook my limbs uncontrollably as I see my lifeless little brother choke on his own blood that was leaked into his tiny lungs.

“RICKY!!!!”

My mother held Ricky into her arms as she yelled out his name, stroking his light brown hair. I knew there was no life left as I saw the color in his brown skin turn pale. Her wisdom fell off of the edge of the precipice as she repeatedly stroked his hair saying over and over… Everything is going to be alright baby… Towering my body over my father’s; I connected my hands with his shoulders and shook him as if he was just sleeping. The thickness of my hands covered my sobs as I lay on one side of my cheek to his chest. Blinded by the tears of freaking the fuck out, I glimpse at the bullet filled window. A pop noise explodes into the room, causing me to jump to the ground.

Grunts coming from my mother made me crawl to her aid. A quick death blow to the head made blood smother the walls. Covering my mouth from the puncture hot screams, I jumped to my feet and leaned my back against the wall. My sweated brown curls strained out to the front of my face. Blazing bursts of flame roofed my throat as I cried until I started to stutter devoid of warning. Slamming the door open made me trip onto my back. The growing shadow turned to be Dean rushing over to my side. “Kat…I need you to do this for me…I need you to jump out that window and run…no matter what you do…don’t look back.”

“Are you fucking insane, you are coming with me…I’m not leaving you,” I shouted while stuttering between words.

Grabbing my arm, he grasped both sides of my cheeks and hard-pressed his forehead to mine. “I’m afraid you have no choice…they are after me…they wouldn’t even be thinking about you…I’ll be ok I promise.”

We clutched our bodies tightly knowing that both of us don’t want to leave go of each other’s grapple. Out of nowhere, he opens the front house window and violently pushing me through. Scratchy tiles from the rooftop scratched my forearms as I catch myself from a free fall. Swarming back towards Dean, I place my palms onto the glass, trying to slide it up. Dean knew I was going to try to come back in for him, so he locked it tight. All I could do is watch as I heard shouting of men busting inside the front door of our once beautiful home. I could see the anxiety fill all over his body as a silver genteel pistol shook into his palm. Watching him snap back his head, pointed the gun and fired. Thinking that he was taking care of it, the weight of his body buckled to his knees. Whirling to my teary eyes, the soundless words I love you decorated on his mouth. Hoarse aching screams strained out my sore throat as I watch him lie on his back stock-still. More shadows appeared to the room where Dean’s body laid. In terror I skid quickly off the roof landing with a authoritative bang on my side.

Pulling my body aligned with my departed parent’s car, I crossed one hand to my side and did what Dean wanted me to do…RUN!!