Don't Leave Me Alone in This Bed



*Sams POV*



“I’m home!” I yell into my always empty house.

Saying that line has just become a routine. My house wasn’t always empty. I remember when I was young I would come home to a warm home and a mother baking me chocolate chip cookies or other sweets.

 To a home. Not a house.

I never really had a home. 

I took off my sweater and shoes at the door. I put my shoes by the side of the wall, away from the door. That way if my drunk parents ever found their way back to the house, they wouldn’t trip over my shoes. I made my way into the kitchen, and I was thrown back into the past.



“Mom, mom! When will the cookies be ready?”



“Soon Sam, be patient sweetheart.”



“But moooom, I want them now!” I said dragging out the O’s.



I opened the fridge. Nothing. I should really go get groceries, I thought. I felt my stomach growl. I should really eat. I took a slice of bread and put it into the toaster. I sat on the counter with the jar of nutella in my hand, and stared off into space.



“But mom! When Tay gets home she will eat them all! Like she always does!”



“I promise I will keep some for you, look. Here she comes now.”



My toast popped out of the toaster, giving me a heart attack and pulling me from my daydreams. I put the jar of nutella down and put the toast in the trash. I suddenly lost my appetite. 

I put my sweater back on, as I could feel the chills making its way up my spine. I grabbed my bag and went to my room. I made my way up the unnaturaly steep stairs. I cant even count the times I fell down these stairs when I was a kid.

Before I reached my room, I stopped outside a closed door. I wondered when the last time I, or anyone else opened this door. You could faintly see a name carved into the wood.



Taylor.



I clutched the door knob, deep in thought. I slowly turned it, opening the door that should never be touched. The forgotten one. I pushed it open. 

Inside was the same as it was since that day. Nothing changed. The bed was still not made, there was dolls everywhere. Freshly washed clothes which were starting to collect dust, nicely folded on the bed.



“Tay, for the love of god, clean up you toys! If you don’t I will sell them”



“What? But it wasn‘t me! It was Sam, he always plays with my dolls!”



“Tay, go clean up your room”



I felt a sudden pain in my chest. I slammed the door shut. My breathing got heavier and the pit in my stomach deepened. 

It’s all my fault. 

I opened the door to my room, threw my bag by my desk and fell onto my bed. 

All your fault. If you weren’t so selfish it wouldn’t of happened. The voices in my head wouldn’t stop. You broke this family apart. They can’t even stand being around you anymore. 

I felt my throat tighten and the pain in my chest deepen.

 All your fault. 

I fell asleep with nothing but regret and before I knew it, all what I tried so hard to forget came flooding back, as if it never left.



___________________________



“Mommy, mom look! I want that ballon!” I cried, pulling on the hand that held mine towards the direction of the ballon.



“Sam, I said you can get one thing for your birthday, is that what you really want? Or do you want to wait a get a toy?” The smooth, lovely voice of my mom questioned me. 

I made my pouting face and crossed my arms.



“Come on Sammy, I will buy you a train” My sister said. Immediately, my face lit up. “You can’t pout on your birthday Sam! Its your day!” She said pinching my cheeks, a little too hard.



“Stop it Tay, it hurts” I said, almost in tears.



“Tay, stop hurting you brother!” Our dads voice boomed from in front of us. His silhouette covered us. I lifted my head up to face the blurry man, the man I so called my father. The one I looked up so much to.

She stuck out her tongue and ran to dads side. We made our way down town, stopping here and there to look at the toys or other products in the windows. Sometimes I would see something from across the street, so we had to make our way threw the rushing cars to see it.



“Well we made it all the way downtown, is there anything that caught your eye Sammy?” asked my mother, over top of the horrible music that was playing. I scrunched my nose in thought. I wanted everything I saw. I let go of the warm, firm hand of my mother and threw them up in the air in frustration.

Before I could say anything, something red caught my eye on the other side of the street. It was a tiny antique shop. I could feel the red object drawing me in.



“I want that” but I guess no one heard me over the music. My eyes fixed on the bright red color. What was it? I really wanted to know. I mindlessly started walking towards it. I want it. I could feel my legs automatically bringing me towards it. Closer and closer.

What is it?

A stool? no, not tall enough. A sled? nope, it’s too long. An airplane. Negative. still too long. Finally, I was close enough to make out what it was. A smile made its way across my face. I spun around to face my mother to tell her what I wanted.

“Sam, watch out!” A blood shrieking voice boomed in my ears. My blood froze as I saw a car speeding right towards me.



“Sammy!” I heard someone else scream. But I couldn’t move. Frozen still. Before I knew what was happening, I was sitting in the middle of the street.



Red. 

Deep dark blood red color everywhere. 

“Tay!” My father screamed as he sprinted across the street to pick up her lifeless body.



“It’s all your fault!” He screamed at me, tears in his eyes. My mother racing to him. 

It’s all my fault. I repeated over and over in my head. And finally the red train wasn’t so appealing anymore. I looked at my sister and my parents, and the memories I so hard try to forget where back to haunt me again.