Behind the Seams

After I had left Gale, I quickly found Katniss to say goodbye. I ran through the forest, just wanting to get out, to get to our hollowed out log to put my things back. I walked through the Seam carefully, with my game bag flung over my shoulder. The Peacekeepers acted as if they did not see me. I smirked, glad that I sold to them. Otherwise, I would never get to be in the forest with no consequences.

I got to the main town and headed toward the bakery. I opened the front door and the bell rang. Peeta’s dad was standing behind the makeshift counter.

“Hey, Larsen. What’s going on?”

“Hi, Mr. Mellark. Just trying to survive. You know?” he smiled, nodding.

“How is your dad doing?” he asked. I folded my hands and looked down at them. I bit my lip.

“He’s not much of a dad lately. Sometimes I wish he didn’t work. If he didn’t he would have no way of paying for all of that. That’s the only time he seems to get out of the house. He goes to work, gets paid, and goes to get the alcohol.”

“I’m sorry. But I guess I just mean are you ok? Nothing is going on, right?”

“No, I’m fine. Mr. Mellark. I promise. If not, I will definitely let you know.” He smiled.

“Peeta!” he yelled to the back. He turned back to me. “What do you have for me today, hun?” I set my bag on the counter. As I was about to answer, when Peeta came from the kitchen.

“What, Dad?” Then he saw me and perked up. “Larsen!” He smiled. He came over, wrapped an arm around me, and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek.

“I missed you.” I said.

“Yeah, me, too.” He grabbed my hand. “Where have you been?” I smiled and pointed to my game bag.

“Hunting. Guess what I caught today.” He pulled the bag over in front of him.

“Dinner, I’m guessing.” I nodded. He opened it. “Two rabbits? Wow! That’s great.” I shook my head.

“One and a half. I gave my half away.” He furrowed his brow, confused. I shook my head, turning back to Mr. Mellark. “It’s a gift. No payment necessary.”

“Well, thank you. Larsen, you are very sweet. I’m going to take this to the back. I’ll give you kids some privacy.”

“See you later, Mr. Mellark.” I smiled at him. He nodded. Peeta grabbed my hand and led me out onto the porch of the bakery. We sat down on the bench outside.

“So who did you give your half to?”

“A friend. Gale.” I smiled, but stopped smiling when I saw he was not smiling. I sighed. “He’s my best friend, Peet. He has three siblings and his mom to take care of. He doesn’t own a bakery like your family does. He needs more help.”

“I don’t need you to give it to me. What about Katniss?”

“What about her?” I asked. “Katniss is fine. She catches more than me.” he started to say something else, but I stopped him. “I did give her one, by the way. I caught four rabbits. So, congratulations, Larsen. Good job. Must have been hard.”

“Larsen…” He started.

“I help my friends. I’m not having another child turn out like Holden. I’m helping the friends who really need it, Peeta. So thanks for caring so much. Also, thanks for fighting with me on Reaping Day. Not exactly the best time, Boyfriend.” I got up. I picked up my bag. “Happy freaking Hunger Games.”

“Larsen! Wait!” But I did not. I kept walking.

*

At home, I saw that my father still was not awake yet. I took my pot off of the fire and brought it into my room where my “tub” was sitting. I poured it carefully not wanting it to get on the floor. I quickly cleaned myself and then snuck past my dad and into my parents’ room for one of my mom’s old dresses. I dressed and braided my long brown hair down and around my shoulder. I looked at myself through the mirror in the room.

“This is as good as it is going to get.” My nerves were going crazy. But I thought of my mom and everything was okay. My dad, however, brought the terrible thought back to my brain. I ran out to the well, filled a bucket full of water, and dumped it on him.

“What the hell?!” He looked up, squinting in the sunlight. “Larsen! What are you doing?!” He was angry. I took a step out of his reach. He was never any good when he was hung-over.

“If you care, it is Reaping Day. I’m heading over to the town square.”

“Fine. Go ahead.” He laid his head back on the dirt floor.

“I don’t even get a good-bye?” he laughed. I scoffed. I can’t believe he can laugh at something like this. “When are you going to get back to the dad that I had before mom and Holden died?” he picked his head up. I saw what I thought was sadness in his eyes. I bet he had nothing to say after all of this crap he has done. “Happy Hunger Games. I love you, Dad. Somewhere in there. I hope you come back soon.” I turned towards the door and left.

Heading out to the crowd in the square, I couldn’t help but look for Peeta. I hate that we fought. Today especially. After five minutes of searching, I finally found his blonde head in the crowd. “Peeta!” He looked around and then caught my eye. I ran over to him and quickly wrapped my arms around him. “I’m sorry.”

“No, I am so sorry. I was a jerk. I should not have acted like that. Gale needs it more than Katniss does. And I know he’s just your friend.” I smiled. We went over to the check-in together and they pricked out fingers. It stung a little bit at first, then I could not feel it. Before we separated, I hugged him one last time.

“I love you, Peeta.” I whispered in his ear. He pulled away, with a little bit of a worried look on his face. My heart dropped.

“Larsen…” He looked down.

“It’s too soon.” I said, my voice shaking. My eyes stung with tears. I looked down and tried to blink them away.

“Oh, Larsen, please don’t cry.” He bent down trying to look at my face. I turned away from him.

“No, it’s okay. It’s just my feelings. I should not have said it now. During this.” I gestured around. “If you don’t feel this way, it’s okay. It’s only been almost a year.” I bit my lip. “I totally understand.”

“I just don’t know, Larsen.”

“It is ok.” I mumbled. Now it was time for us to go. I hugged him quickly. “I love you anyway. Doesn’t matter what you feel. I know how I feel.” He nodded. I kissed him quickly. And went off to our sectioned off area. I found Katniss and grabbed her hand. “Don’t worry. There is no chance of us getting picked. People are in there more than us.”

“I’m not really worried about me getting picked. If Prim gets picked, I don’t know wha—”

“She won’t get picked, Kat. Little Prim is only in there once. You told her that she won’t get picked. Are you going what on what you said? Should I tell her?” Katniss shook her head. “Everything will be fine. We’ll get this over with, go back home, and cook up those bunnies.” I winked. She smiled, but it was small. She still was a little weary about the next few minutes. It was completely understandable. I was, too. Even though, secretly, I wanted to be picked.