Behind the Seams

After Gale and I got a good amount of game, we went over to Gale’s house. We gave his mom some of the game and she said she would cook it up right away. I grabbed Posy, Gale’s baby sister, from his mom so she could cook and held Posy in my lap on the beat up sofa. Gale sat next to me. Rory and Vick, Gale’s brothers, had already crowded themselves around the small projection television in the main room. He put his arm on the back of the couch behind me.

“Hey, boys.” I said, bouncing Posy around in my arms. “How are they doing? They still alive?” The boys nodded excitedly.

“Katniss is bringing Peeta to a cave. She’s going to try to fix him up. The careers beat up to a pulp.” I scrunched up my face. Great. Battle scars.

“Oh, alright.” I was freaked out because he was hurt. Definitely a little shaken. I had Gale get a blanket to put on the floor. I laid Posy on it. “At least Katniss is doing what I asked her to.” Gale leaned over.

“What you asked her?” Gale asked.

“I asked her to protect him. He needed to be watched out for.” Rory and Vick laughed.

“Guys.” Gale warned.

“What?” I asked.

“This is the first time she has helped him do anything.” Rory explained.

“What?!” I questioned, incredibly shocked. Did she even listen to me when I talked to her in the Justice Building?

“Yeah. It is her fault that he is all beaten up. He was being the good District Twelver and protecting her from the careers.”

“What? Why would Katniss need protecting? She is fine all herself. He is so inexperienced in that part of the world.”

“Duh! It’s because he loves her.”

“Rory!” Gale warned a second time. I shot a look at him.

“Who? He loves her? Katniss? No, he does not! She never even knew him before the reaping.”

“She might not have known him, but he knew her.” Rory responded.

“Well, it is not true. He loves me. It must be something to do with the Capitol. I think they’re protecting themselves.”

“Moo…” Gale said, softly. I looked at him. His face was so sad. It made me feel the same way. “I am not so sure that the Capitol would make Peeta do that.” I looked at the picture to see Katniss kissing Peeta. My heart stung at the sight.

“No. She is kissing him. He is just sitting there, do you see?” I watched as he pulled away. After that, every move Peeta made drove my heart lower into my chest. He stared at her, like he used to stare at me. He smiled just a little bit for a second. He moved a stray hair out of her face. He brought her face to him and kissed her again. My heart broke so hard that I almost heard a crunch.

I replayed their kiss in my head over and over. My heart broke each time, if it were even possible. I tried to recall the time Peeta and I were in the room of the Justice Building. He told me he loved me then. Did he really mean it? Was he just lying to me because he knew he would die out there? Then when I mentioned Katniss, Peeta got hesitant. Almost as if he did not want to stick with Katniss. That was how it always happened, now that I had thought about it. He always got quiet when I mentioned Katniss. Now, I knew why.

“Moo? He shook me from my thoughts. “Moo, what’s going on in your head?” I shook my head. I got up and left the house. As soon as I was out, I ran. I ran as fast as I could wanting to get away from this stupid world. I just wish I could keep running. I wish I never had to stop.

“Larsen!” I heard off in the distance. “Larsen, please! Wait!” But I did not wait. I just kept running to the river. When I got there I collapsed. Knees on the ground. Head in my hands. I just screamed.

“Shh…” An arm snaked around my shoulder. I pulled away, angrily. “Moo. I am so sorry.”

“He was mine! Peeta was mine! One of the few things that I have left in the damned world! She just snatched him up like it didn’t even matter that I was here! Like no second thought passed through her brain as she broke my heart!”

“I know that you are upset.”

“I am beyond upset, Gale! I just watched my best friend make out with my boyfriend in front of all of Panem.”

“I know.” He opened his arms out. “Just come here. Please. Let me comfort you or something.” I slowly curled up into Gale’s arms. “I am so sorry, Moo.” He kissed the top of my head. I started to calm down. Being with Gale made me okay again. “Why don’t we stay the night here again?” I only nodded.

“Thank you, Gale.” I felt him nod, as I closed my eyes.

“I love you, Larsen.” And I was out.

*

After that night, Gale and I stayed on routine. He came to get me in the morning. We would hunt all day. We would eat together away from any show that included anything related to the Games. I would not be watching anymore if that is what I would see. Seeing that every time I turn on a television would be torture. After we ate, we would walk home. We hardly spoke. I had thought it was because Gale was afraid to upset me. He was always so careful around me. It was getting a bit unnerving. But just one time when he only lightly put his arm around me, did I blow up.

“Gale! Relax! I promise you, you are not going to break me. I am okay.”

“But Peeta…” Gale stammered.

“I am over it. He loves Katniss. I think I have known for a while. I didn’t want to admit it because I loved him so much. But I understand it. Katniss is amazing without even trying. I mean you love her, too. She is two years younger than you.”

“Well, so are you.”

“How old I am has nothing to do with any of this.”

“Yes, it does. You have just as much potential as she does, if not more. You are amazing and so talented. You are beautiful, Larsen. In my opinion, Peeta is an idiot for doing that to you; for picking Katniss over you.”

“Gale, shut up. You are only saying that because you want Katniss to yourself.”

“No, I am saying it because that is exactly how I feel. I was so stupid for picking Katniss and leaving you. Katniss is not world losing you over. Not if she does what she did. I am so sorry, Moo. I wish I had never invited her that day.” He dropped his head in his hands. I felt sorry for him. I guess I shouldn’t be the one feeling sorry.

“No, I’m sorry, Goose. I have made this whole thing about me. I haven’t even asked how you were doing. Seeing as you love Katniss.”

“I do not love Katniss.” He shook his head, looking up at me.

“Oh, come on, Goose. I see the way you look at her. That little glow you get in your eyes.”

“Don’t you see the way I look at you?” I furrowed my brow, confused. “Larsen, you are so busy focusing on my feelings for Katniss, Peeta’s for Katniss, and you and Peeta. Have you ever once thought about my feelings for you?”

“Your feelings for me?”

“Have you ever noticed what I am sure is a much bigger glow in my eyes when I see you?” I backed away from him, shaking my head.

“Gale, you are my best friend. You cannot have feelings for me.”

“I don’t know what my exact feelings are. All I know is that I want to keep you safe. I want to make sure that you are happy. Whenever you cry, it hurts me. When you volunteered, it scared the crap out of me. To think I could lose my best friend…” He tried moving towards me. I moved back, unsure of what I should do. “…I just wouldn’t know what to do.” I nodded.

“I don’t know what to do now.” We stood for a while avoiding each other’s gaze.

“Larsen?” I looked up at him. “Can I try something?” I bit my lip.

“Um, I suppose.” He started moving closer to me. I was scared. I wanted to run, but my body would not let me. He was directly in front of me now. He stroked my cheek like he did the other night. I got those butterflies again. He took another step closer, putting one finger on my chin and pulling my face up to look at him since he was so tall. I felt his breath on my face. His hand moved back to the side of my face, brought his lips to mine, touching them lightly. He pulled back and looked me in the eye. “Gale…” I took a step back.

“Larsen?” Another step. I saw his face turn to something somber. “Moo? Say something.” I shook my head. I turned around and ran. “Larsen! Please!” he begged. But I could not. I ran to my little shack and did not look back.