Waiting for my sun to shine.

--Layla--

After John and the guys left at 3:30, all I could think about was how badly I was messing up already. He was cute, he was sweet, and he was charismatic, and every other good trait I could think of, but I moved to Arizona for a fresh start, and getting a boyfriend in my first two weeks wasn't exactly my idea of a good fresh start. A fresh start meant getting grounded, getting used to my job, making friends with the other people working there, decorating my small town house, and getting to know Arizona. Those were the things I should have been doing, but instead, I was already going out on what John had called a date.

I tried to tell myself it was just two friends going to a party, but I knew it was more than that, in both of our minds. And in the rest of the guy's minds. I just had to distance myself from him, it would be the best for both of us. I sucked at relationships anyway, and I'm sure it would be hard dating a singer. You'd have to deal with the fan girls, and always having them out on the road.

I knew I was getting ahead of myself. We weren't even dating yet, we had just met today, but a big part of me was cautious. The other part wanted to go for it, go all in, be John's, and be happy. Ever since my little brother had died in a car accident, I had built these walls, that nobody could break down. I always found myself getting distant. I was so afraid of getting attached, and of commitment, that I let those fears consume me.

"Layla, we need to talk."

I snapped out of my daze, looking over to see Mike. "Yeah?"

"I saw you and John were... hitting it off." He crossed his arms with a smirk.

"Yeah, you don't have to worry about that. I won't let that get in the way of work." I lied. I wouldn't let that get in the way of anything. It wasn't going to happen.

"Okay, good. That's what I wanted to tell you. You can have boyfriends, but they shouldn't interfere with work. You're a smart girl, I'm happy to have you working here, kiddo. Why don't you just relax for a bit, you've done a lot today." And with that, he was gone.

I took it upon myself to go home and get a change of clothes, so that I didn't look terrible at the party. I was still going to go, I was just going to make it clear to John that we were just friends. Nothing more than that. We were two friends going to a party, to celebrate his bands success, this was not going to be a date.

I had so many thoughts. I wanted to straighten this out, tell him everything that I had planned to, but I also wanted it to be a date, so badly. I wanted to kiss him, and hug him, and stare into those captivating green eyes all day. I didn't know what I wanted, so I was going to take the easy way out. I was going to stick with the original plan. He'd understand.

I put some of my favourite clothes into a bag, so I could change at work just before 5:00.



I always felt so confident when I wore them, which made me excited for tonight, even if I was going to knowingly push John away.

With that, I figured it was best to get back to work, hopefully Mike would have something small for me to do while I waited for John, anything to get my mind off of John, and what I was about to do to him.

For the whole five minutes I was driving, I wondered how John would take it. Would he be upset, or would he just brush it off? He had to have tons of other girls all over him, all the time. Maybe he would fight for me. That would be romantic, and then there would be no way I could deny him. I could see it already. I pictured us riding off into the sunset on a white horse, him dressed as a night, and me as his princess. I laughed at the thought of lanky John in metal. It was hilarious to me.

--

Before I knew it, it was 4:50. I hadn't thought about John much since I had gotten back to the studio after getting my stuff, but now that I only had ten minutes left, he invaded my thoughts again. I changed my clothes quickly, and touched up my make up. My hair was not party material, emphasis on the not, but I supposed it would do. Even though I couldn't be with him, I knew I was dressing to impress John. As much as I tried to tell myself I wasn't, I knew he was in the back of my head when I picked out my outfit, and even more so when I was getting ready in the bathroom at work.

When I walked out of the bathroom, Mike clapped, trying to stifle his laughter, "somebodies going out on a date with the singer, is she?"

"We're just friends, actually."

"You're trying to tell me that you don't like the guy? You're not fooling me dressed like that, kiddo. But I'm surprised you were able to get ready in ten minutes, most girls your age take forever."

I glared at him, "I'm not trying to impress hi-" I stopped talking as soon as I heard the door open. As I turned around, I saw John, who looked like a deer in headlights. I checked the time on my phone, it was 5:00 on the dot. He was right on time. "You okay, John? You look a little shocked."

"No, it's just, you look great," he said, his eyes widening, and he studied my body, smiling as his eyes met mine.

I smiled back as I felt my cheeks turn red, "You think so?"

All he did was nod. It was like he was speechless.

"Thank you John. I guess I'll have to leave my car here for the night. Do you mind if I put my other clothes in there before we leave?" I asked him, as we walked out the door, "oh, bye Mike!" I called back.

"No problem. And of course." He was still wearing what he had on earlier, but it suited him.

--

As we arrived at the party, I knew I had to start getting my message across. I had been acting too friendly, so far.

"Care to dance, my lady?"

"John. I want you to know something.." I told him, hesitantly.

"Uh, this doesn't sound good. Are you pregnant, Layla?" I could tell he was joking.

I couldn't help but laugh, I hit his chest playfully, "no John. I just want you to know that we're here as friends. And only friends." I swallowed, it felt like a brick going down my throat, "This is not a date. It's two friends, having fun, at a party. Do you understand that?" I couldn't make eye contact with him, so I looked at my feet.

"Oh." was all he managed to get out, I could tell he was disappointed, I could hear it in his voice. "I understand. If it's a little soon for you, or if you don't like me in that way, or whatever the case may be."

I felt his hand on my shoulder, so I looked up at him, "Thank you for understanding, John. I can already tell you'll be a great friend." I threw my arms around his waist, feeling weak in the knees as he hugged me back gently. He looked down at me, and our eyes met. Unable to look away, I mouthed the word sorry, and he just nodded. I blew it with John, but somehow he still gave me butterflies.

--John--

Later that night, after I drove Layla home, all I felt like doing was writing a song. I was going to write a song about Layla. She had been so cute, and flirty earlier, and suddenly she turned reluctant and distant. I had no reason to be upset about her not liking me, or thinking I was a creep, or whatever her case was. I had known her for less than a day, but somehow it felt like I'd known her for a lifetime. She made me feel at home, and safe, and comfortable, and God, did she look good at that party.

I sat on the edge of my bed, guitar in hand, and started singing the lyrics that came to my head. I wrote them down, line at a time. They just came to me when I thought of her.

"I will collapse, so lets make this moment last
I am alone, no not because I'm lost, because I'm found
And I like the way it sounds when I'm at home
Don't say that I can't do it on my own

Then you did collide and broke through the other side
Straight to my heart, you're the ember to my flame
When it gets dark, and I love the way it feels when I'm with you
And I cannot find the words, no"

I stopped strumming for a minute to read over what I had written down so far, it looked good, so I kept going.

"Two-hundred thirty paces to my place,
Oh I should not be alone
I'll burn this house down, no need for walls now
When I'm with you, I'm at home

Two-hundred thirty paces to my place,
Oh I should not be alone
I'll burn this house down, no need for walls now,
Because, when I'm with you, I feel like I'm right at home"

I had planned on singing this to her. Our new album, Pioneer would have 13 tracks now, not 12. I would win Layla over with the only thing I've ever really been sure about, and that was music.

"Two-hundred thirty paces to my place,
Oh I should not be alone
I'll burn this house down, no need for walls now
When I'm with you, I'm at home, home, home,

I'm at home, home, home
I'm at home"

Every word of my newest song was true, and it was all for a girl I barely knew. I was going all in here, and I hoped it would work.