‹ Prequel: Ana
Sequel: Relearning Laura ›
The "You're Not Fat" Campaign
No I'm Not
"Rick, am I fat?" I ask my boyfriend. He looks up from his summer reading book and frowns at me.
"Laura, no. You aren't fat, okay? Jesus Christ. Why do all girls think that they're fat?' he snaps. I wince and continue to stare at my reflection in my mirror.
"I don't know," I whisper. I don't know anything anymore. Rick stands up and wraps his arms around my waist. He smells delicious.
"Hey, sorry I snapped at you," he says. "I'm just annoyed because this stupid book is taking forever to read, and I miss Cassie, and I'm worried about you." He spins me around and we sit down on the floor.
"We need to talk," he says. A knot of dread forms in my stomach.
"Okay..." I say slowly. Rick takes my hands in his.
"Laura Elizabeth McKee. Why do you keep asking me if you're fat? You're gorgeous." I bite my lip. This comes up too often for my liking. I am NOT gorgeous. I am not I am not I am not.
"No I'm not," I whisper. Rick frowns.
"Why do you resist my compliments?" he asks indignantly. "It's true!" I shake my head slowly.
"Because I honestly do not agree with you," I murmur, looking away from Rick. "I'm short and chubby, and my eyes are boring and brown, and I have frizzy hair. Also I'm stupid and annoying." I spin my silver ring around and around on my index finger. I do not look at Rick. I refuse to look at Rick, because I know he'll be looking at me with annoyance in his blue eyes.
"Laura, no," he says. He wraps his arms around me. I squeeze my eyes shut and look away from him. I know exactly what's coming.
"Laurie, I know that it isn't easy or even possible to look at yourself as pretty, but you NEED to stop telling yourself these things. You are the perfect height for me, okay? And you're not chubby. You're thin. That doesn't mean that you're built like a supermodel. And you know what? That's good, because those girls are unhealthy. Your hair is beautiful, and your eyes are beautiful, and YOU are beautiful. You're not stupid or annoying. You're amazing and I love you."
I hate that I can't believe him. I wish more than anything that I could look in the mirror and see what Rick sees. I've tried. But I can't.
I just... can't.
"Laura, no. You aren't fat, okay? Jesus Christ. Why do all girls think that they're fat?' he snaps. I wince and continue to stare at my reflection in my mirror.
"I don't know," I whisper. I don't know anything anymore. Rick stands up and wraps his arms around my waist. He smells delicious.
"Hey, sorry I snapped at you," he says. "I'm just annoyed because this stupid book is taking forever to read, and I miss Cassie, and I'm worried about you." He spins me around and we sit down on the floor.
"We need to talk," he says. A knot of dread forms in my stomach.
"Okay..." I say slowly. Rick takes my hands in his.
"Laura Elizabeth McKee. Why do you keep asking me if you're fat? You're gorgeous." I bite my lip. This comes up too often for my liking. I am NOT gorgeous. I am not I am not I am not.
"No I'm not," I whisper. Rick frowns.
"Why do you resist my compliments?" he asks indignantly. "It's true!" I shake my head slowly.
"Because I honestly do not agree with you," I murmur, looking away from Rick. "I'm short and chubby, and my eyes are boring and brown, and I have frizzy hair. Also I'm stupid and annoying." I spin my silver ring around and around on my index finger. I do not look at Rick. I refuse to look at Rick, because I know he'll be looking at me with annoyance in his blue eyes.
"Laura, no," he says. He wraps his arms around me. I squeeze my eyes shut and look away from him. I know exactly what's coming.
"Laurie, I know that it isn't easy or even possible to look at yourself as pretty, but you NEED to stop telling yourself these things. You are the perfect height for me, okay? And you're not chubby. You're thin. That doesn't mean that you're built like a supermodel. And you know what? That's good, because those girls are unhealthy. Your hair is beautiful, and your eyes are beautiful, and YOU are beautiful. You're not stupid or annoying. You're amazing and I love you."
I hate that I can't believe him. I wish more than anything that I could look in the mirror and see what Rick sees. I've tried. But I can't.
I just... can't.