The "You're Not Fat" Campaign

Rick, Cassie and I are all in the same homeroom. When I arrive at school the next morning, I see them sitting huddled together in the back of the classroom, talking in low voices. They stop talking when I walk within earshot of them.

"Hey guys," I say, my voice scratchy. They smile. It looks forced.

"Hey, Lo," Cassie says, not meeting my eyes. Rick reaches up and kisses me, his lips brushing quickly across my mine.

"Morning, Laurie," he says. I sit down hard. My tailbone is pressing hard against the chair. It hurts but I like it because feeling the bones in my butt means that it is a skinny day.

All through homeroom, I find myself zoning out. My fingers are wrapped around my wrist, my ever-reassuring wrist (with some hard work I can get as skinny as the bones at the end of my arm, the skinandbones that lead to my palms and fingers). I stare at the surface of my desk. Someone has etched two names into it - Andrea and Liam - surrounded by a heart. Someone else has drawn a crude sketch of a penis. I can't wait to get out of here.

Behind me, Cassie and Rick are muttering very quietly. Through my clouded mind I hear my name. I twist around - ooh careful bones grinding together - and shoot each of them an inquisitive look. Cassie stares at her hands. Rick doesn't meet my eyes. I turn back to the front of the room.

He's dumping you for her. He's cheating on you with her. She's still skinnier than you. She's always been skinnier than you. Obviously Rick likes her better. Why would anyone love you?

I shudder and slump, my forehead resting on my arms. Rick is probably cheating on me with my skinnyskinny friend.

I have to get skinnyskinny too.

Skinny skinnier skinniest.

Good better best.