The "You're Not Fat" Campaign

My fingers dance across the piano keys. They stumble once or twice, but for the most part, I play Clementi's Sonatina in C major, opus 339 number 3, perfectly. Well, no wonder. I've been practicing this piece for four hours straight.

You still suck.

I play louder. Forte forte forte.

Want to know why?

Fortissimo! Fortissimo!

Because you're fat.

No. Being fat has NOTHING to do with piano.

I play and play and play.

I am focusing on other things.

You can't hurt me while I play my piano, because when I play my piano, I am not Laura McKee. I am hands, and a black Steinway baby grand, and music.

I am focusing on my Steinway baby grand.