‹ Prequel: Ana
Sequel: Relearning Laura ›
The "You're Not Fat" Campaign
Hand Sanitizer
I can't remember what happened in the bathroom.
All I remember is terror and fast breathing and then
nothing.
And now I am in the nurse's office.
It smells of hand sanitizer and shoes and eucalyptus.
I hurt everywhere and my head is light but it is dark in the nurse's office and I am lying on a bed and I am alone.
I wish I could be alone all the time.
I sit up slowly. My mouth is so dry. I need a glass of water.
Nurse Raleigh totters into the room full of cots and says "Hello, sweetie, glad to see you sitting up. You had me worried." I take deep breaths, but the hand sanitizer smell gets into my nose and I cough weakly.
"Need anything?" Nurse Raleigh asks.
"Maybe some water," I say, my voice thin and weak. Nurse Raleigh nods and totters back out to the main area of the nurse's office. She comes back with a cup of water.
"What happened?" I ask creakily. Nurse Raleigh hands me the water and sits down.
"You were called down to the main office," she began.
"Yeah, I remember that."
"And you didn't get there. Megan Forester found you in the bathroom, hyperventilating and clawing at your arms." I glance down at my forearms. There are deep gashes left behind from my fingernails. I shudder. They hadn't really hurt until I saw them. Now they hurt.
The nurse picks up her phone and calls someone.
"Hi. She's awake.... Mmhm.... Yeah, that's perfectly fine.... Mmhm. See you soon." She hangs up and turns to me.
"Your parents are coming and picking you up," she tells me. I can feel panic rising up inside me again.
"Please, no," I say, my voice harsh and ragged. "Please let me just go back to class. Please. Please." Nurse Raleigh frowns.
"Is everything okay at home?" she asks. I nod quickly.
"Yes. Everything's fine. Just let me go back to class. Please."
Nurse Raleigh shakes her head.
"They're taking you where you need to go."
All I remember is terror and fast breathing and then
nothing.
And now I am in the nurse's office.
It smells of hand sanitizer and shoes and eucalyptus.
I hurt everywhere and my head is light but it is dark in the nurse's office and I am lying on a bed and I am alone.
I wish I could be alone all the time.
I sit up slowly. My mouth is so dry. I need a glass of water.
Nurse Raleigh totters into the room full of cots and says "Hello, sweetie, glad to see you sitting up. You had me worried." I take deep breaths, but the hand sanitizer smell gets into my nose and I cough weakly.
"Need anything?" Nurse Raleigh asks.
"Maybe some water," I say, my voice thin and weak. Nurse Raleigh nods and totters back out to the main area of the nurse's office. She comes back with a cup of water.
"What happened?" I ask creakily. Nurse Raleigh hands me the water and sits down.
"You were called down to the main office," she began.
"Yeah, I remember that."
"And you didn't get there. Megan Forester found you in the bathroom, hyperventilating and clawing at your arms." I glance down at my forearms. There are deep gashes left behind from my fingernails. I shudder. They hadn't really hurt until I saw them. Now they hurt.
The nurse picks up her phone and calls someone.
"Hi. She's awake.... Mmhm.... Yeah, that's perfectly fine.... Mmhm. See you soon." She hangs up and turns to me.
"Your parents are coming and picking you up," she tells me. I can feel panic rising up inside me again.
"Please, no," I say, my voice harsh and ragged. "Please let me just go back to class. Please. Please." Nurse Raleigh frowns.
"Is everything okay at home?" she asks. I nod quickly.
"Yes. Everything's fine. Just let me go back to class. Please."
Nurse Raleigh shakes her head.
"They're taking you where you need to go."