What's So Good About Picking Up The Pieces?

Movie night with the All Time Low guys had gone without a hitch after my little incident, and despite that glance I had caught from Alex earlier that night, he had not approached me about it, and for that I was glad.

The first hour of the night was filled with arguments as to which movie we were going to watch. Jack had insisted that we watch Home Alone, to which the other boys had thoroughly refused. I had no idea why though, and said I had no problem watching the movie.

“SEE GUYS!” Jack had shouted after I agreed, “THIS IS WHY SHE IS MY NEW BEST FRIEND!”

“You’re going to regret allowing him to watch Home Alone, Nikki, just you wait” Zack said through his fit of giggles.

Zack, of course, was right, I did regret letting Jack watch that damn movie. He pretty much quoted every single fucking line and he was still talking about his favorite parts after the movie was even over.

After we had watched Home Alone and listened to Jack’s childish chatter about said movie, we had settled on a marathon of all the James Bond movies, which was freaking amazing, let me tell you. I was probably more annoying than Jack once we started watching the James Bond movies.

After about the 5th movie we had started to fall asleep. I don’t really remember how, but I do remember waking up to see Jack laying on top of Rian and flipping him the bird on his face. Alex and I had to bit our tongues just to avoid laughing and waking them up. Zack had also taken the initiative to take a picture, and we showed them once they woke up.

Let’s just say Rian and Jack weren’t pleased. They had chased Zack for about an hour until they were both exhausted. I don’t see how they would have thought of ever catching up to Zack; he looks like he was made of pure muscle.

We had all left after a couple hours, leaving me time to think alone at home (see what I did there?). My mother had left a note saying she was gone for work, and I was free to do as I pleased for the day.

I thought about how I let that single tear slip the previous night, and I began to break down in tears. I missed my dad and Quinn more than anything. Why did they have to die? Why them? Why not me? I’d much rather be dead so that they would be alive again, but I had already accepted the cold, hard, truth. They were gone, and there was nothing I could do about it. They weren’t coming back, unless some there was some zombie outbreak like in the movies, but we all know that’s just a bunch of bullshit.

I ran to the bathroom and grabbed the razor. It was still new, shiny. I twirled it around with my fingers. Should I? Or should I not? Those thoughts kept replaying in my mind. I decided I should and drew the blade to my wrists.

As I watched the blood drip down, I felt myself calm down. I let my focus stay on the blood as it fell, drop by drop. My focus was no longer on my past, it was the scarlet water running down my wrists, pasts my hands, and onto the floor.

I had stayed that way for a while, just lying on the bathroom floor watching the blood. I don’t know how long I stayed there until I decided to take a shower.

Again I had observed the blood. It wasn’t stopping this time, but for some reason it didn’t bother me.

When I finished my shower I had put on my black skinny jeans and my Blink 182 tank top. Before I could put on my bracelets to cover the fresh cuts Jack had barged into my room.

“Hey Nikki! I came by just to see if you wanted to come to our practice today!”

“Sure, is it at Alex’s place? And how'd you get in here?”

“No, Rian’s, and the door was unlocked… what’s that on your wrist?”

My cover had been blown.