Status: Slowly progressing :) School started so I'll try weekly updates when possible ;)
What's So Good About Picking Up The Pieces?
7) "You guys are too good for me."
We held hands all the way back to Rian’s house. Just like when I walked there with Jack, it was filled with a comfortable silence rather than an awkward one. The difference was that I felt a lot safer with Alex than I did with Jack. Sure, I liked Jack, but I definitely didn’t feel the butterflies in my stomach I had felt with Alex.
Yes, I know it’s really cliché but I couldn’t help it. I may have just met Alex, but he was different from other people I’d met. I could feel it. I don’t know, but it just felt right. Things were just different when it was just me and him, but it was a good different.
I also couldn’t help but think about the lyrics for “Lullabies.” What did those lyrics mean? I wanted to know why Alex was so hesitant to tell me, but then again I haven’t opened up to him about why I cut, so there’s that.
As we walked up to the Dawson residence, I was terrified out of my motherfucking wits. What if they ran out on me? There were the first friends I had made in a while and I really wasn’t interested in ruining that. I had decided. I wasn’t going to tell them after all.
“Alex?” I called him.
“Yeah, Nikki? You okay?” Alex asked.
I took a deep breath, “I don’t want to tell them anymore. I really want to, but I don’t think I’m ready for that yet.”
He looked at me with understanding in his chocolate brown eyes, “You don’t have to if you’re not ready yet. When the time comes, you’ll be ready, and I’m sure they won’t judge you for it. They are great guys after all.”
“Thank you Alex,” I said blushing, “for understanding.”
“It’s okay. I’ll always be here when you need me.”
“Really?” I couldn’t believe it.
“Yes, really,” he said whilst smiling reassuringly and squeezing my hand, “Let’s go inside.”
As we walked into the basement, I could hear the guys playing a couple Blink 182 songs with Jack singing (he was actually surprisingly good, but he had of coursed changed they lyrics to be a bit… rude). I love Blink 182, so I wasn’t afraid to run in and start singing and dancing along, even if it wasn’t people would expect from me.
”ALL THE SMALL THINGS! LIKE MY PENIS!” I sang along with Jack, bursting into an uncontrollable fit of laughter as I did so.
They noticed we were back and went up to hug me.
“HOLY TITTY FUCK I WAS SO SCARED WHEN YOU RAN OUT, NIKKI!” Jack all but screamed into my ears.
“Don’t worry Barakitty,” I smiled softly, “I’m alright thanks to Alex.”
“Oh really now?” Rian asked whilst wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.
“No! Not like that!” I giggled and slapped Rian playfully, “I just remembered a couple bad memories when I heard ‘Lullabies’ and Alex was able to calm me down.”
Rian and Zack looked at me with sympathy in their eyes. “It’s all okay now,” Zack said, “We’ll always be here for you, right guys?”
“FUCK YEAH!” they all screeched at the same time.
“Yeah, and we’ll all be here for you if you need a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen.” Rian said.
I looked up at them, tears prickling my eyes, “You guys are too good for me, you know?”
“Nonsense!” Jack cried, “That’s what best friends do right? We may have just met you, but you’re probably one of the coolest girls we’ve ever met! I mean, most girls wouldn’t think that our rendition of ‘All The Small Things’ was very funny, yet you sang along. You haven’t judged us for our weirdness, so we have no reason to judge you.” He was met by sounds of approval from the other guys.
“Thanks, you guys are the best.” I said, and they proceeded to hug me as tight as they possibly could.
“AIR! GUYS! I NEED SOME MOTHERFUCKING AIR! HOLY SHIT!” I cried and they immediately let go of me.
“Fuck, we’re sorry,” Alex said, “We can get a bit carried away sometimes!”
“No shit! Now continue practicing so I can keep telling you guys how good you are!”
“You really think we’re good?” Zack asked, surprise in his eyes.
“Of course I do!” I exclaimed, “Except for Jack of course, he can’t play guitar for shit!”
“NO!” Jack protested, “I can play the guitar just fine”
“Okay,” Alex said in a sing-song voice, “Whatever helps you sleep at night!” We all laughed as he said that.
“Come on,” Jack said with a pout on his face and feigning sadness, “Let’s practice.”
Yes, I know it’s really cliché but I couldn’t help it. I may have just met Alex, but he was different from other people I’d met. I could feel it. I don’t know, but it just felt right. Things were just different when it was just me and him, but it was a good different.
I also couldn’t help but think about the lyrics for “Lullabies.” What did those lyrics mean? I wanted to know why Alex was so hesitant to tell me, but then again I haven’t opened up to him about why I cut, so there’s that.
As we walked up to the Dawson residence, I was terrified out of my motherfucking wits. What if they ran out on me? There were the first friends I had made in a while and I really wasn’t interested in ruining that. I had decided. I wasn’t going to tell them after all.
“Alex?” I called him.
“Yeah, Nikki? You okay?” Alex asked.
I took a deep breath, “I don’t want to tell them anymore. I really want to, but I don’t think I’m ready for that yet.”
He looked at me with understanding in his chocolate brown eyes, “You don’t have to if you’re not ready yet. When the time comes, you’ll be ready, and I’m sure they won’t judge you for it. They are great guys after all.”
“Thank you Alex,” I said blushing, “for understanding.”
“It’s okay. I’ll always be here when you need me.”
“Really?” I couldn’t believe it.
“Yes, really,” he said whilst smiling reassuringly and squeezing my hand, “Let’s go inside.”
As we walked into the basement, I could hear the guys playing a couple Blink 182 songs with Jack singing (he was actually surprisingly good, but he had of coursed changed they lyrics to be a bit… rude). I love Blink 182, so I wasn’t afraid to run in and start singing and dancing along, even if it wasn’t people would expect from me.
”ALL THE SMALL THINGS! LIKE MY PENIS!” I sang along with Jack, bursting into an uncontrollable fit of laughter as I did so.
They noticed we were back and went up to hug me.
“HOLY TITTY FUCK I WAS SO SCARED WHEN YOU RAN OUT, NIKKI!” Jack all but screamed into my ears.
“Don’t worry Barakitty,” I smiled softly, “I’m alright thanks to Alex.”
“Oh really now?” Rian asked whilst wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.
“No! Not like that!” I giggled and slapped Rian playfully, “I just remembered a couple bad memories when I heard ‘Lullabies’ and Alex was able to calm me down.”
Rian and Zack looked at me with sympathy in their eyes. “It’s all okay now,” Zack said, “We’ll always be here for you, right guys?”
“FUCK YEAH!” they all screeched at the same time.
“Yeah, and we’ll all be here for you if you need a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen.” Rian said.
I looked up at them, tears prickling my eyes, “You guys are too good for me, you know?”
“Nonsense!” Jack cried, “That’s what best friends do right? We may have just met you, but you’re probably one of the coolest girls we’ve ever met! I mean, most girls wouldn’t think that our rendition of ‘All The Small Things’ was very funny, yet you sang along. You haven’t judged us for our weirdness, so we have no reason to judge you.” He was met by sounds of approval from the other guys.
“Thanks, you guys are the best.” I said, and they proceeded to hug me as tight as they possibly could.
“AIR! GUYS! I NEED SOME MOTHERFUCKING AIR! HOLY SHIT!” I cried and they immediately let go of me.
“Fuck, we’re sorry,” Alex said, “We can get a bit carried away sometimes!”
“No shit! Now continue practicing so I can keep telling you guys how good you are!”
“You really think we’re good?” Zack asked, surprise in his eyes.
“Of course I do!” I exclaimed, “Except for Jack of course, he can’t play guitar for shit!”
“NO!” Jack protested, “I can play the guitar just fine”
“Okay,” Alex said in a sing-song voice, “Whatever helps you sleep at night!” We all laughed as he said that.
“Come on,” Jack said with a pout on his face and feigning sadness, “Let’s practice.”
♠ ♠ ♠
Okay. Let's get straight to the point. I AM GENUINELY SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING FOR FAR TOO LONG! Things are just so hectic at school and my personal life and all that shit. I'm really sorry. And I also apologize for a really shitty and short filler chapter, but I kinda needed to get that out of the way so I could continue on with the rest of the story, so yea. Also, I'll be able to update during the holidays since school ends Tuesday and my final exam (which is Spanish) is on Monday. Wish me luck!Also, I'm in the writing mood, so expect another update later today, but don't gets your hopes up. Here's a hint for the next chapter: Senior Year and Bitches. Oh yeah, shit just got serious.
Anywhore, thanks to all those who've stuck with me during my unexpected hiatus! I'm really excited to get on with the story and any feedback is greatly appreciated! I love you guys! *does hand heart sign thing* Also, thanks to Asia for bugging me to write at school (I'm sure you enjoyed this) and MaydayParade01 for messaging me about updating this :)
I never really got to say this in my Author's notes so I'm going to say it now. PLEASE, and I am begging you, PLEASE do not self-harm. It's only going to add to your problems, and trust me, it's addicting and it really won't help you in the long term. If you guys ever feel depressed or feel like your world is falling down, feel free to message me, because I'm here to listen and give advice if I can :) Feel free to message me here on Mibba or on tumblr or Twitter. My tumblr is blinkbunnies.tumblr.com and my Twitter's @blinkbunnies. If you need someone, I'll be there, and if you need a friend, I'll be your friend :) If we message a lot, we could even add each other on Skype or something if you want haha :)
Also, if any of you guys know anyone from Sandy Hook Elementary School, my thoughts and prayers go out to you guys. My condolences go out to the families affected by this great tragedy. This has helped me realize that 1)The world is way too fucking shitty and there are way too many sick bastards out there and B)We shouldn't take out lives and everything we have for granted. Who knows when something like this could happen at out own school, workplace, etc.?
Anywhore, thanks again for sticking by me!
TTYL, DFTBA, and Don't Panic ;)