Concrete Angel

"Izzy, are you okay?" Joey asks for the tenth time since I came storming into our room. We were sitting around trying to do the load of homework that had been piling up.

"I'd be better if we had less homework to do." I say playing his serious question off as a joke.

"Izzy, talk to me." Joey says quietly.

"Joey, I have nothing to talk about." I say even quieter.

"You're lying to me." Joey says but he turns his eyes from my face and back to his homework.

"So doesn't baseball conditioning start soon?" I ask smiling at him trying to change the subject.

"Yes, it actually starts next week." Joey says his voice full of excitement.

"So do you think coach will let me play?" I ask quietly.

"I haven't even seen you play. If you're good, you'll play." Joey says looking up at me.

"I guess we'll see. I haven't played in years." I say not facing him. I really haven't had the time to play as much as I wanted. I kept in shape and play around some but not a lot. Maybe I shouldn't even consider it.

"I can help you. We can start tomorrow and get you ready. You have to play with us. I think it'll be fun." Joey says smiling at me.

"You'll help me? Really?" I say grinning back at him. He throws a pillow at me and scolds me for not doing my homework. We fall into a silence and work some more. My mind kept straying to the ball field. A field was the only place that felt like home anymore, the only place I ever felt safe anymore. Once I was on a field, everything changed.

The next day went by faster than I expected. After school, Joey and I changed into some old clothes and went straight to the field. Joey got all his ball stuff out and ready while I just walked to the pitcher's mound. This was my home, any pitcher's mound, any field. It was mine. I bent down and let the dirt run through my hands. I look up to see Joey watching me with a small smile.

"What?" I say grinning at him.

"Pitcher huh?" Joey says knowingly and I nod slowly.

"Let's warm up by running." Joey says without answering my questioning look. I nod and meet him at home plate. We run the field about three times and then we get our gloves out. We toss the ball back and forth some and then Joey pitches it to me to practice hits. I could tell he wasn't a pitcher, but he did alright.

"Can I pitch to you now?" I ask dying to get back on the pitcher's mound.

"Yes, I think it's time." Joey says walking over to his bag. I grab a ball and rush to the mound not paying him any attention. I get area ready and run the dirt through my hand once more. I look up, expecting to see Joey with a bat; and see him crouched down in his catcher's gear. I grin brightly at the thought of us working together. The pitcher and catcher were partners. Joey and I were already close. We could possibly be unstoppable. I threw my first ball to him and he caught it with no problem. I don't know how long we were out there but soon my stomach started growling. Joey and I had worked out every symbol possible for every throw. It was like he could read my mine half the time.

"Izzy, you're amazing!" Joey says once I motioned for a break. He runs up to me and picks me up in a hug. I laugh and hit him so he'll put me down.

"We just lost our pitcher. He graduated last year. You're way better than he ever was!" Joey says smiling hugely.

"So you think I'm in?" I say as we get our stuff packed up and head to dinner.

"You are beyond in. The fact that we know each other just makes this better." Joey says throwing an arm around me as we walked into the cafe.

"JOEY! You played ball without us!?!?!" the guys voices demanded as we set our stuff down.

"I'm sorry, I made him help just me." I say stealing Chris's fries.

"I'll get us some food." Joey says laughing at the guys faces.

"You can play tomorrow with us." I say eating another fry.

"Sweet, so are you any good?" Scotty asks looking at me smiling.

"She's amazing." Joey says coming up behind me. The discussion then leads into baseball and I drift off slowly into a daydream. Somehow we ended back in our room doing homework, after showers. I was laying on my bed trying to focus on Chemistry but my eyes kept closing.

"Little Lady, clam down. I don't like to hit you." he whispers in my ear. He was on top of me now. I knew what was coming. Each hit brought him closer. He wasn't satisfied yet. I spit in his face as he tried to kiss me, that earned me another slap.

"Remember your manner, little lady." He says after hitting me. He had me tied to something. I did my best to ignore what he was doing. I just wanted to get away. If I could just get my arm undone.

I felt his hand search my body. I shiver in fear and try not to cry. I was done giving him what he wanted. I would suck it up and let him kill me. If I was dead, they'd have a better case. If I can't get out, I could die. I could die and never have to worry about him again.

"Kill me." I whisper quietly. He pauses in his actions and cocks his head to the side. He meets my eyes.

"What was that little lady?" He says getting real close to my face. I avert my eyes but he just jerks my face so I would have to look at him.

"Kill me." I say louder. He was not going to make me play his little games more than I too. I wouldn't say what he wanted, I wouldn't cry anymore.

"Oh, I will little lady. But I'm not quite ready for that just yet." he says then he gets up finds some duck tape and puts it over my mouth, so no one will hear the screams that I couldn't contain.

"Izzy, wake up! Izzy, it's me. Stop moving so much. Izzy!" Joey says loudly. I jerk myself into a sitting position and find my homework all over the floor. I was sweating like crazy.

"Izzy, what happened?" Joey says looking at me.

"Bad dream." I mumble wiping my forehead.

"Izzy, why do you keep having these dreams?"

"Everyone has bad dreams Joey."

"Not like you. You have them all the time. You were yelling to kill you. And when you aren't having nightmares you're talking in your sleep."

"I talk?"

"Yes, you always are saying Johnny. And then one night you were begging for someone to save you." Joey says quietly.

"Maybe you shouldn't listen to my dreams, Joey."

"Maybe you should just talk to me."

"What do you want me to say?"

"I want the truth."

"Joey, I can't." I say looking into his eyes for the first time. He was worried. I could tell. I make room for him to lay beside me in bed and he does.

"Talk to me, Izzy." Joey whispers pushing my hair out of my face. I catch a glance of the red and then I look at him once more. And I do something I've always needed to do. I talked.