Next To Me

Nicole:

Taylor brought Mason out into the living room after changing his clothes. Mason ran over when he saw the cars. "Mason I don't get a hug?" He dropped his cars and walked over. "Sorry, hi mommy." I gave him a kiss and he went back to his cars. "Hi Mase. Now it's late so you can only play for a little bit okay?" "Okay." Taylor sat next to me and I looked at my phone again as I got another text. "Who is it?" "It's Beau, he wants to see him." He turned to face me and could tell I was a little upset. "And you don't want him to visit do you?" I put my phone on the table and faced Taylor. "I mean, I want him to see his father, but I don't want to see his dad. And when his dad comes we have to get along in front of Mase, and I don't want to confuse him and have him think that mommy and daddy are together and we are a happy family because we just aren't."

We watched as Mason just played with his cars happily on the floor. "Well, I think you should talk to Beau about it. I agree, I wouldn't want confuse him either. But he definitely deserves to see his dad, and Beau deserves to see his son every now and then." "I know. But he left, he chose not to stick around. And then he decides he does want to see him everyone now and then. I mean either you are a part of his life or you aren't." I looked down at Mason so distracted by making his cars crash into one another.

"Although I don't think he and I will be getting back together. We did try and work it out for him, but we just can't be together, it isn't good for Mason. We argued and that's not good for him to be around." "At least you made the best decision for your son." "Yeah, well I just wish I would have waited and had him with someone who would have stuck around and been an actual father to him." I gave Taylor and innocent smile then looked down at Mason. "Someone like me?" I looked at him shocked, I couldn't believe he said that. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that."

"No, you are right. Someone like you." I gave him a reassuring smile and then gave him a kiss. Mason was fading so we put him to bed and called it a day. I really liked having Taylor stay here for the night. It was good for Mason and nice for me as well. Tomorrow Taylor was going to let me sleep in and he was going to take care of Mason in the morning, hopefully that will give me more time to think about Beau visiting Mason.

~~~~~~~

I woke up the next morning and Taylor and Mason weren't here. I walked into the kitchen and saw a note on the counter.

Morning babe! You are looking beautiful!:) Well, I decided to give you a break from having to shop, so I took Mason to the grocery store with me. We should be back around one. So chill for a bit and don't worry about what Mase is doing because he is in good hands. And I decided that I will cook dinner tonight too. Hope you slept well and are feeling okay. Oh, Mason says hi! See you soon. We love you! <3

I couldn't help but laugh at that note. Taylor is so sweet. I definitely didn't want to go shopping anytime today or any other day this week really, so I am thankful he went shopping for me. I sat on the couch and turned on the tv. I put MTV on and started watching the marathon of Teen Mom, it was interesting since I know what they were going through. My phone started ringing and I thought it would be Taylor, but it was someone I didn't feel like talking to, Beau.

"Hello?" "Hey, so did you think about my question? You never replied to my text." "I know. I wanted to sleep on it caused I was unsure." "Well, you know that it's his birthday this weekend and I really want to see him." "I know, and I don't want him to not get to see you on his birthday, but I just don't like making him think that you and I are together and we are a happy family cause were not." "I know, trust me I know. I don't like tricking him either, but we just can't be together. We tried to make it work, but we made it worse." "Yeah. So I mean if you want to come here for his birthday you can." "Okay. Are you having a party for him or?" "I am having a few of my friends bring their kids over on Sunday. Nothing too big." "I don't know if I want to be around for that, but maybe we could spend a day with him? Like the day before?" "That sounds fine." "Okay. I will call you when I am in Edmonton." "Okay, see you Saturday." "See you Saturday, bye." "Bye."

I hung up the phone and Taylor and Mason came crashing through the door with groceries. "Hi mommy!" "Hey Mase. Look at you carrying groceries." "I'm a strong boy mommy." "I can see that." I walked over and grabbed a few bags from Taylor. "Hi." "Hi." I gave him a kiss and we took all the bags into the kitchen. "Mase, do you want to watch cartoons while Taylor and I put these away?" "Yeah." Taylor put his cartoons on and walked back over. I let out a big sigh and Taylor knew something was up.

"You talked to Beau?" "You could tell by the sigh huh?" We laughed as we put things away. "He asked to come this weekend since it's his birthday. I mean I'm gonna tell him no, like on Mason's birthday he should see his father. But since I am having a few of the wives from the team and their kids over Sunday, he is just gonna spend the day with me and Mason on Saturday." "I still feel bad that I won't be here for his birthday. I don't want to be upset."

"I know, but he is going to learn soon enough that you won't be here all the time, you are gonna be out of town a lot. That's something I am going to have to get used to also." I frowned and he gave me a hug. "Don't worry, I'm always a phone call away." "I know. It's gonna suck not having you here this weekend, but I will call you Saturday to let you know how stuff with Beau went and then I will call you Sunday so you can talk to Mason." "Perfect."

I was so excited for Mason's birthday this weekend. I'm a bit nervous for Saturday, but as long as Mason is happy, then I am happy. I just wish Taylor was going to be here to help me deal with it all.